Old Fashioned Lady

"Translating ancient traditions into modern language"

2012-01-22T22:14:00.000-05:00

Translating ancient traditions into modern language - The Pueblo Chieftain: Local Lifestyle:
"I love working with youths. They tend to pose difficult questions." ...
"First out of the bag: "Why should women wear skirts and headcoverings at church?" "

GOOD thoughts. Laws have applications. Rules have reasons. God is not random. People are people.

Includes this nugget:

The last thing you want your attention drawn to whenyou come to pray is a nice pair of calves or a sexy hairdo (yes,men do notice them).

Short article; please read. :)

Reading Is Fundamental

2012-01-03T21:55:00.002-05:00

Read one of these wonderful classic children's books online with your children, and share a book with one of the literary programs supported by "We Give Books" - a group from Penguin Books which provides books to various organizations around the world, who in turn provide books to children who would otherwise not have a book. Sign up and read several books a day. It's an old fashioned past-time with a new-fangled twist that helps others, and doesn't fill up your house. :)

The Hello Mornings Challenge — Inspired To Action

2012-01-02T14:00:00.000-05:00

The Hello Mornings Challenge — Inspired To Action

Ladies, you may benefit from doing what our ancestors did - wake up early! I'm going to try to get with it myself. Check into this lovely blog for some encouragement and great ideas.

A Challenge ...

2012-01-01T23:34:00.002-05:00

Click to find this great resource, and to join the challenge...

from the website:

"What Is The “Maximize Your Mornings” eBook About?Hi! Thanks for your interest in the FREE Maximize Your Mornings eBook. My name is Kat and I wrote this ebook to help busy moms like you create an effective and life giving morning routine.Here are a few things you’ll learn in this ebook. Learn why getting up early is so important. How to get out of bed – tips to make it easier to crawl out of your cozy bed. How to develop a doable Prayer and Bible Study plan. How to find an exercise plan that works for you. How to plan your day so that you actually get things done. Learn the key to developing a great morning routine. Download forms and charts to help you plan and stay on track."

"Farther Up and Further In!"

2011-12-31T21:28:00.000-05:00

There is more. So much more than we can imagine. As Aslan the Lion prompted the children in C.S. Lewis' "The Last Battle" to continue onward and upward, we too should be encouraged in this so-called "real" world to continue on until the perfect light of that coming day. To that place where our current afflictions will seem light and momentary in comparison to those eternal, weighty glories.

There is more. More than the political affiliations and geographical citizenship which seems so important to so many in this life. More than single, married, divorced, or "it's complicated." More than our present job or career, which may seem to be our identity, but which in fact is merely what we do, for now. More than even what we believe we are right now, from our age, weight and complexion, to our physician's current diagnosis.

There is more. So much more than we can even hope for. We think we understand the concept of "God" or "God-ness." We think we understand what sin and salvation and redemption are all about. We think we understand even a part of what spiritual and heavenly things are. We fall far short, since we are only human and can only use physical, corrupted words and experiences to understand or label those things which we have never seen or heard, those things which the God of the Universe has prepared for us before time ever was.

There is more love, more joy, more peace. This is why couples that have been married for many years say that Love has grown in their lives as excitement wanes, why older or poorer folks might say that they have a Joy which we can't see, why a person like you or me can actually feel Peace when all around us there is strife, anger, hatred, fear and doubt. There is faith that is an evidence of what we cannot see or hear or feel - and there is more of it the more we grow in it.

There is more to learn and know. How can we say we are "satisfied" with where we are, truly? And how can we say harshly that another man does not 'get' something, when we are seeking to find the same Eternal Truth, but will never fully grasp it in this life? If even the wise men of old, who experienced and meditated much more than we have, did not claim to know all, to have all, who even did not stand up to condemn or slander those who were obviously in the wrong, but said, "the LORD Jehovah rebuke you," how can we be snide or purposely hurtful just to "make a point" to those who are in the same state as us?

Oh, there is so much more. More in this life. More in the life which is to come. More. And what a grasping, greedy word that appears to be. Should we not be content to take that which we were given and "sit on it", hiding it in a hole in the ground, where we count it among our blessings to have and hold onto in this life? Why should we keep striving for more, if we cannot have it?

Ask the widows and the fatherless why we should look for more. Ask the crawling babies, and the young children following after their parents and elders as quickly as they can. Ask the lovers of books, the writers of papers and blogs and poetry and songs. Ask those who are driven from their homes and places of worship around the world, who lose their jobs, their families and their lives simply because they know that Something More exists. Ask the poor in Zimbabwe who were unlucky enough to be born during the reign of a tyrant, who requires a wagon load of cash to purchase a loaf of bread for their family, or ask the people in war zones around our globe, who did not choose their place of birth, but now must try to live through famine, destruction and fear, while the nations around them refuse them refugee status because quotas for immigrants are filled. Ask those whose children were born with what most of us call "handicaps". Ask the young men who have come back from war "handicapped". Ask those who doubt and who wonder why bad things must happen in this life if there is a God.

There are not words really, but there is more.

May we continue to strive for more. All we need are eyes to see, and ears to hear, and a heart to understand. May the beauty of the simple and lovely things of this life inspire us to press on.

e-books, anyone?

2011-06-30T13:07:00.002-05:00

I realize that I do not have a regular readership, but I am looking to understand the new literature culture of e-books, and would like to hear from you - anyone of you!

What do you think of e-books and e-readers? Are you a reader? An e-author?

Let me know in the comments, please!

"Boy Meets Girl"

2011-06-30T08:41:00.001-05:00

There's a child being raised today whose parents won't tell the child's gender. This particular segment of this show came to mind. Do you remember this show? Every year we watched in school on special days and I remember enjoying it. I know now it was mostly (all?) about gender equality; even so, in this scene they had to admit that there was something different.

Was it ONLY the body parts, like they seem to want to enforce here? Or have we figured out that we really are different in more ways than this? A girl may want to be a fireman, and a boy a cocktail waitress, but it doesn't change the fact that we were made male or female. "It's all right to cry" for boys and girls (thanks, Rosie), but that doesn't mean that we're interchangeable in every way.

Edwardian Games

2011-05-17T14:49:00.002-05:00

Please check the Road to Avonlea page for "Intellectual Party Games," for some real old fashioned lady fun! :)

Also see the website: "Parlour Games - V&A Museum" for children's games.

Royal Wedding Thoughts

2011-04-30T09:31:00.002-05:00

Royal wedding. *sigh* I enjoyed everything from the pomp to the music to the sermon and the crazy people in the streets. Oh, there's a heavenly royal wedding to come that will be infinitely better, and of course, winning the war was "quite good" as one wedding watcher said, but this is right up there. Maybe we need a little royal wedding every so often to break up the tragedy and warfare. Eh?

-LisaM

Remember, that one guy said every wedding is like a royal wedding in a sense! ♥

-my daughter

Wedding Prayer (Written by Prince William and Catherine Middleton)
"God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.
In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.
Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer."

Jennifer wrote:

I found myself feeling guilty at times while I watched it knowing all of the sadness and hardships in the world, but I had to remind myself of the Chinese proverb "One joy shatters a hundred grief.s" I have to believe that by living in joy we are simultaneoously adding to the joy in the world and through that helping heal the sorrows ♥

Peggy Sue wrote:

I felt very "girlie" all day at work today. It was just so joyous to watch and gave me a lift all day. : )

Danni wrote:

"I was trying to stay away from all this wedding stuff, but got dragged in after seeing Kate's dress. I was happy to see that it was very modest. Girls today don't have anyone respectful to look up to. It seems like all the "stars" are competing for who can wear less clothing. The fact that she wore the dress that she wore, and the way she dresses on a regular basis, gives Kate major points in my book."

From CNN

This is one of those fantasies pointing towards the Real that Tolkien wrote about, I think.

- LisaM

DVD Sale at Vision Forum

2011-04-12T16:27:00.002-05:00

The folks at Vision Forum are having a sale that might be of interest to blossoming old fashioned ladies and those who guide them. Homestead Blessings Bestseller Collection ...

Through April 15, save 45% on the Homestead Blessings Bestsellers Collection when you enter coupon code FRUGALHOME while viewing your cart or during checkout.

Baby Wearing

2011-03-29T13:21:00.003-05:00

As I travel through this life, I find that many of us "old fashioned" ladies have certain things in common. We stay at home to rear up our children, which often leads to our being home school teachers or very active in our children's education. We dress modestly, which often leads to wearing skirts and/or head coverings. We are called hippies, and some times our minimal reliance on makeup and modern hairstyle (many of us do not cut our hair) gives us that "look". We do things with our own hands: gardening, sewing, knitting, crafting, building, farming (some even do all of the above!). Most of us breastfeed our babies for longer than the 'recommended' 6 months, and we probably sleep with our babies for those midnight feedings. We also prefer to carry our babies.

Now, I realize that all of these categories are done by a new and modern "old fashioned" girl, and it can look very trendy and chic (and get quite expensive). Some of the baby carriers out there are way overpriced, and it seems crazy, to me, that it would cost a fortune to return to the old and respected way of doing things. But I digress.

Just posting today a link to a French lady's photo collection of baby wearing throughout the ages and around the world. Though some of the photos may provoke sad feelings, all of the photos together are quite lovely. Enjoy:

"L'art de porter", from "maternage proximal avec ma Bambina"

"Being Ladylike"

2011-02-03T19:46:00.004-05:00

Please, dear Readers, find and read a lovely new blog: Being Ladylike. The articles that she has written so far on how to stand or sit like a lady are quite refreshing - little details that we ladies use to, well, to just be ladylike.

Kristina Cole is a teenage blogger from the USA. She loves to blog and has a passion for being ladylike.

"And Because of The Angels"

2010-10-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

Blog To Read: Far Above Rubies: "And Because of The Angels"

The discussion is always open somewhere. Keep reading. And be encouraged.

Cultural Clothing

2010-10-24T15:09:00.007-05:00

Cultural question : why is it that women seem tend to hang on to traditional clothing when they move to a new area much more so than men?

Illustration: today driving through the Tibetan Cultural Center area in our area, where the Dalai Lama is making a visit, and women are wearing beautiful dresses and colors; men are wearing western style suits. Every day I see South Asian women (Hindi, Sikh and Muslim) in traditional modest flowing dress and their men in ... western style pants and a button up shirt. Chinese lady friends wear Chinese fashions; men wear western. West Indies ladies and African ladies wear lots of colors, and sometimes their men do too. Hmm. Maybe it's easier for the men to switch because our western woman's styles are just not modest or dressy enough? I wonder if someone has figured out a way for their university to arrange a paid study into this phenomenon.)

photo 1: from Canada.com
photo "portrait... Indian couple": from 123rf.com stock photos
photo "Tibetans": from agnt.org
photo "Sikh family": from Sikh farmers of California (note - realize that keeping long hair, and keeping it tidy and clean, requires a turban of some sort by the Sikh gentlemen, even as they switch to Western suits)
photo 5: from Xsightn Fotografi

Genesis, Wifely Submission, and Modern Wives - Answers in Genesis

2009-11-24T16:38:00.000-05:00

Genesis, Wifely Submission, and Modern Wives - Answers in Genesis

Interesting source for thoughts - and well put. The explanations could go further but this is a good overview of the concept of "male and female" from Genesis 1 - the beginning.

Old Fashioned Women in Afghanistan

2009-09-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

Listen - FamilyLife.com

2009-06-02T12:39:00.002-05:00

I like this show. Dennis and Bob are discussing stepping up to the plate of parenting, and fatherhood specifically. Two part show available here:

Listen - FamilyLife.com

Posted using ShareThis

National Wear Your Apron Day

2009-05-07T14:13:00.000-05:00

Lagom: or, It's Good to be Swedish

2009-04-11T16:33:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if there's any Viking blood in my mixed earthly heritage, but a recent face book test confirms:

"Michelle completed the quiz "THE INNER NATIONALITY QUIZ: WHAT ARE YOU REALLY?" with the result: You are Swedish.
You are friendly, gentle, and modest, with a good heart and a lusty nature. You laugh easily, have a well-developed sense of irony, and tend to understand people intuitively. You are interested in new people, but will always maintain notions of insider vs. outsider, and this will lead you to commit to a group of friends and lovers who will be with you your entire life. If you have a weakness it's your timidity -- you feel pressure to remain 'lagom' -- on an even par with others. But this is also your strength."

Not being familiar with the term "lagom", but always interested in new words, concepts and people (as the results here point out), I looked it up. Wikipedia reports:

"Lagom is a Swedish word with no direct English equivalent, meaning "just the right amount".

"The Lexin Swedish-English dictionary defines lagom as "enough, sufficient, adequate, just right". Lagom is also widely translated as "in moderation", "in balance", "optimal", "suitable", and "average". But whereas words like "sufficient" and "average" suggest some degree of abstinence, scarcity, or failure, lagom carries the connotation of perfection or appropriateness."

"Hmm," I said. "That sounds just about right."

The Bible says:

"[G]ive me neither poverty nor riches. But give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." (Proverbs 30:8-9)

“This, then, is how you should pray ... Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:9, 11).

“But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6)

It is not the concept of holding back or denying oneself, or of putting up with or learning to live with your circumstances; but the practice of being perfect, content, fulfilled, just right.

The little quiz makes it look like seeking "lagom" is a kind of timidity - a seeking to be at par with others so as not to rock the boat. But it's off the mark there. "Lagom" appears to me to be a kind of modesty - a seeking not to put oneself above others while not lowering ones self to living lazily. And doesn't the Bible also teach us not to "lord it over" others, to humble ones self to the point of servanthood, and also to keep pressing on, to "live up to what we have attained"?

Jesus taught us to "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Matthew 7:13-14)

Read the whole of 1 Timothy 6, and notice what Paul writes: "there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. . . .

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. ... " (1 Timothy 6:6-9, 11-12) (ESV)

The Swedish quiz also said, "You are friendly, gentle, and modest, with a good heart and a lusty nature." (This is me - a "to the pure..." person - so I define "lusty" nature along with the common definition: "Full of vigor or vitality; robust. Powerful; strong".) I looked back at 1 Timothy 6 and said, "Hmmm." "Pursue ... love, ... gentleness. Fight the good fight ..." The quiz had mentioned a small "insider" group whom you will be with all through your life. Ya, the Bible talks about that too. So I applied my own meaning to their human words in my little Bible meditation today, and I came out Swedish.

And like I said, it sounds just about right. As the Swedish might say: "Det är [It is] lagom."

As Paul said, "Grace be with you all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo above is of Ingrid Bergman, a lovely lady born in Stockholm, Sweden, who lived during the days of the old classic black and white movies.

Thoughts on Springtime

2009-03-17T12:59:00.005-05:00

"My heart is awed within me, when I think
Of the great miracle that still goes on,
In silence, round me--the perpetual work
Of thy creation, finished, yet renewed
For ever."

- from "A FOREST HYMN", by William Cullen Bryant - such a beautiful poem of days long ago

And here's a bit of a sweet poem from days gone by, called "A Laughing Chorus":

"... Oh, the pretty, brave things! through the coldest days,
Imprisoned in walls of brown,
They never lost heart though the blast shrieked loud,
And the sleet and the hail came down,
But patiently each wrought her beautiful dress,
Or fashioned her beautiful crown;
And now they are coming to brighten the world,
Still shadowed by Winter’s frown;
And well may they cheerily laugh, “Ha! ha!”
In a chorus soft and low,
The millions of flowers hid under the ground–
Yes–millions–beginning to grow."

I received the following in an email. I know that some folks see the amazing things of the world as mere coincidence, or not nearly big enough to make up for the weeds and thorns that they encounter, but I think the world around us is a pretty wonder-full thing to meditate on, because God made it in an amazing and wonder-full way.

See also Psalm 139

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How lovely to think about the way our Creator God planned everything so carefully and perfectly, everything with a plan. As His highest creation, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made."

God's accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs.

For example, the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days.

Those of the canary in 14 days.

Those of the barnyard hen in 21 days.

The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days.

Those of the mallard in 35 days.

The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days.

(Notice, they are all divisible by Seven - isn't that neat?).

God's wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant. The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other Quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.

The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.

A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.

How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!

God's wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as in the number of grains.

Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.

Each orange has an even number of segments.

Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.

Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains.

Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row an odd number.

The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.

All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks. The Lord specified Thirtyfold, sixtyfold, and a hundredfold - all even numbers.

God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day, so that Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed!

Thus the Lord in His wonderful grace can arrange the life that is entrusted to His care in such a way that it will carry out His purposes and plans, and will be fragrant with His presence. Only the God-planned life is successful. Only the life given over to the care of the Lord is safe.

The video below was created for the music of pianist David Nevue, "While the Trees Sleep":

True Woman '08

2009-03-09T13:23:00.002-05:00

Are you aware that you can read, watch and listen to the lessons shared and prayed over at the True Woman Conference in 2008? When you have some time, check into these resources. Old fashioned is new and refreshing...

"Turning Hearts Toward Home"

2009-03-03T08:38:00.001-05:00

Have you heard of James Dobson?

He's somehow gotten into our world a little bit, don't you think? My Mom read "the strong willed child" - about me! - And the ones about raising boys and discipline about my darling little brother. Way back in the 70s and 80s. I know a lot of people, and church families, have one or two of his books in their library somewhere.

The news reported that Mr. Dobson stepped down from his position at the helm of the huge "Focus on the Family" organization in the US. You might be interested to hear his Joshua-type farewell speech to the group. Doesn't sound as if he's really "retiring" from all work, so I won't word it that way. He's one of those "sweet old guys".

Read or listen at this link: Focus on the Family

Fashion, Tznius and Modesty, and Royalty

2009-03-01T10:29:00.004-05:00

Being an old fashioned lady, I sometimes find myself surrounded with tasks of the "here and now", with little time taken for future planning. That is a subject unto itself, which I am working on, as I suppose many other women must also work on daily: how to balance all of these immediate calls with the calls to be ready for things to come.

However, I have come back to post an article that I found so interesting and helpful and encouraging for those ladies who desire to dress respectfully, modestly and beautifully. "The Fashion Conundrum: Does Being Fashionable Clash with being Tznius?", an article from "Bargain Jewess" at wordpress, enunciates so many of the thoughts that all modest, lovely ladies have had while figuring out what to wear. Do we dress frumpy? Wearing a sack dress and hiding our bodies as if we are ashamed? Aren't we to dress so that you can tell that we're women? Young women hear the term "modest dress" and immediately assume that we mean only prairie dresses from the last century or two, or even Middle Eastern garb pictured in our illustrated Bibles, and in the news. But is there truly a "happy medium?" Can we be modest and fashionable, and if so, why would we want to be? Doesn't being attractively attired draw attention to us and therefore contradict being modest, or in Jewish terms, tznius?

Some of this writer's opinion is stated thus:

A Jewish woman is considered a princess in Hebrew, a bas melech. The daughter of a king would only be kitted in the finest of fashions and of course would set the fashion tone for the entire country. She of course would never be dressed in any way that would disrespect her father the king but she certainly would always be expected to look more beautiful and put together than anyone else in the kingdom. The same goes true for the Jewish princess.

I honestly feel that an orthodox Jewish women should always be as fashionable and as classy as possible. There are many ways to look fantastic without baring it all. In general the women I find the most elegant are those who choose to cover it up rather than let it all hang out. Obviously just because you wear a skirt doesn’t mean that you are classy, or elegant I have seen many pants that are more modest that certain skirts. I’m also not here to get into debates on pants, short sleeves, how you cover your hair or any of that sort thing, in my opinion each person must do what they feel comfortable doing and it is between them and God.

Yet I think that each Jewish woman and all women should think of themselves as a princess and therefore there is nothing wrong with wearing stylish fashionable clothes so long as they aren’t thigh high and cut down to the belly button. I think that if you dress stylishly but elegantly you are still tzanua and in no way breaking any tznius code. I think that when people tell you otherwise they are steering you away from looking and feeling your best.

As a princess, there are certainly some ways to dress and behave, because, as we all know, no matter how modest a royal may be, they will "stand out" in a crowd. Let us all hope to stand out with dignity, modesty, respect for our Father. There will be places where we must "draw the line," and in truth, those who are seeing things through spiritual eyes will be able to find where that line is for them and those with whom they come in contact. Obviously, this will be different for each lady, each family, each community, and even among various cultures. But there is one over-riding standard: that which is put forward by the One who designed us to be lovely, and chaste, and helpful (not destructive) to those around us, and especially our husbands.

1 Peter 3: ¹Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ²when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ³ Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Don't let your "adorning" - the thing that makes you beautiful and attractive to others who see you - be an external style of fashion. But let your behaviour - which includes your words and how your dress and how you receive others, showing the True Light reflected through your behaviour - adorn you as a holy woman who hopes in God, a daughter of Sarah, the Princess and wife of Abraham.

The author of the above article concludes: "I think that it’s important to remember ... that tznius and fashion forward can go hand in hand, and not only not be polar opposites, but heighten the honor and grace of the Jewish woman." I think that perhaps modesty and respectful fashion can heighten the honor and grace of us all, to the glory of God.

Beauty Tips

2009-01-31T21:23:00.002-05:00

Timeless Beauty TIps - by LisaMe on Polyvore.com

Artwork: "A Russian Beauty", by Alexei Alexeivich Harlamoff

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." - Peter

True Beauty

2009-01-28T09:44:00.005-05:00

I found this poem in the sidebar at "Making Jesus my Pearl":

THE BEAUTY OF A WOMAN
Author unknown

The beauty of a woman;
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries;
Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman;
must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman;
is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman;
Is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman;
With passing years - only grows!

How sweet!

This reminded me of another sweet quote I found once:

"For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge you never walk alone."

~~~~~

And what says the Bible concerning beauty:

Proverb: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

~~~~~

Isaiah: "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him."

~~~~~

Peter: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Want a shocker? Check the contests called "Fountain of Age" at Worth1000.com, where folks have used Photoshop on some of our most beautiful celebrities, so that we can have a guess at what they might look like when beauty fades...

A Sad Anniversary

2009-01-22T16:56:00.002-05:00

A Sad Anniversary - by LisaMe on Polyvore.com

Check with the recent shows on Revive Our Hearts for more about how this choice affects more than just the unborn.

Aprons

2009-01-09T19:46:00.005-05:00

The following is from an email that is apparently making the rounds.

The History of 'APRONS'

Do you remember Grandma's apron? Do you remember making one in Home Economics?

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath,because she only had a few,it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

Those granddaughters would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that ' old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a website for some ladies who make cute aprons, like the one in the photo above (that is them, not me, by the way) :) - http://www.stitchesinfaith.com/vintageaprons.htm. I also came across this really cute useful apron for gathering things in: http://www.frogcreekcottage.com/2008/04/the-gathering-apron/ If you know of another - please post it here!

Modesty in Fitness

2009-01-02T10:46:00.003-05:00

I wrote a letter to the author of this article: "Swimming in Modesty", in newsobserver.com. I wrote it after I read the article and the comments which followed. Those of you who are "old fashioned ladies" probably agree: women who are modest are so often looked at as strange, or even "evil" religious leaders who are taking their followers to some horrible end. At least it seems that way. And if that lady is modest AND Muslim, she must be a "wacko" that needs to be sneered at, put down, laughed at, discouraged from her modesty, and pointed out to others that she's trying to take over the world with her religion - just because she desires to dress and behave modestly.

How did this come to be the way of looking at modest women in our "Christian" nation? We Christian ladies and our gentlemen preferred to simply step back and just not swim or participate in sports, because it's just not modest in this day, as far as dress goes. Why didn't our girls and boys who wanted to participate in sports and swimming just wear something more modest anyway, as many girls in the last Olympics did, in spite of the near nudity of all around? And further yet, why didn't we all continue with separated men and women times in public pools and fitness zones? Why did we cave in and allow all of these places to become centers of immodest behavior and dress, when we all know that physical fitness is a good thing? So many of our young ladies are taken in and decide that modest apparel is not important after all. Especially where sports and swimming are concerned. Oh, and weddings and proms. And around the house. And when you're just shopping... do you see how it just keeps on going? What's next - immodest dress and behavior during worship times with other Christians? Yes. That's what came.

Here is what I wrote:

I follow articles like this one from time to time, and I am so glad that you reported it as you did. Readers - even those who still didn't get it after reading the article - have at least been made aware that this is a modesty issue, and not one of religious segregation. I personally am sad that my Christian friends never pushed for things like this - rather, we assimilated with the immodest world, and some are even made to feel like an "outsider" or "weird" for wanting to wear an over sized t-shirt over swim clothes, or for declining mixed swimming parties. Why didn't we modest Christians get together and find a "women's only" time in the pool? I know that some places this actually has happened - there are women's- and men's-only times in public fitness and swimming areas in the US and Canada - and it is not a "religious" issue, but one of modesty and propriety. Why the world cannot see and respect the wishes of this group is beyond me. But, regardless, articles like this which explain the concept of modesty, and attempt to educate the public at large with this "old fashioned" moral concept, is a good thing. If only there had been a more notable reference in the article to other "women's only" places in the country (your state, even) that are not Muslim oriented, perhaps the focus on the Muslim community and the idea that this is a movement of religious separation could have been understood a little more. But all in all, a better handled article than some short little articles on these kinds of things happening in other places, where it truly comes across as religious separation, and not just a modesty issue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, what should we as modest Christian ladies do? We could do as we seem to have done for a long time - just keep our young women from all athletics and swimming because those areas have been "taken over" by the worldly. Oh, how many physically out of shape Christian girls there are. "She strengthens her arms for the times to come..."

We could do as some Christian women have done, and create our own lines of modest swim wear and exercise clothing. They exist. Check my label below for all the articles I have on modesty, and I think you'll find a few places that you can go to find examples of modest fitness clothing (and formal wear too). "Whatever you do, do as unto the Lord."

And as far as dressing modestly in the midst of scores of immodestly dressed men and women, we could go to the management and ask for private times. We ask for it as a religious thing, or we could ask as a matter of modesty and propriety. I think if we look around and ask, we'll find a lot of other people who would like to be modest in these places, but either don't go, or go and give in to immodesty. We need to find each other and encourage one another.

Isn't physical fitness a part of your "new year resolution"? Even if it isn't, it should be a daily part of your day - to take care of that precious and fragile physical body that the Lord has given you.

Promises to Keep

2008-12-25T14:19:00.003-05:00

So much Joy and Peace and Love these days. :)

But, should Christmas, the man-made holiday, not fulfill its promises of life changes (such as we saw in Mr. Scrooge or George Bailey), we are blessed to know that there is One who always keeps promises, and Who blesses above and beyond all that we wish or dream.

We, in our man-made glitter and warmth, sometimes must look to people and things to remind us of Hope, and Faith, and True Love. And while these expedients are often necessary for our small physical minds to grasp the greatness of spiritual glories, may we never let the reflection of Those Things block our vision of Who they represent. Let not our kindness and gift-giving (or in contrast, let not our avoidance of things of the world which only have the appearance of good things) be seen by others certain times of the year, or of the week. But let us live this "Christmas Spirit" - this life of unconditional Love and devotion to Truth - each and every day.

True Love and Joy and Peace to you and your loved ones, both now and always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PROMISES TO KEEP

Christmas time
On a cold December morning
All is calm
And the world is still asleep
Christmas lights
That have been caught without warning
Gently glitter on
Stars to wish upon
All the world is at peace

Christmas time and the year will soon be leaving
Cloaked in time till it's just a memory
Christmas stays if we don't forget its meaning
Days go quickly by
Years they multiply
And we go searching for thee

And the dream is still alive
From that first December morning
And it always will survive
As long as we can see
That the dreams we find in life
Are the dreams we tend to seek
And Christmas has its promises to keep

Christmas time
And the moments just beginning
From last night
When we'd wished upon a star

If our kindness
This day is just pretending
If we pretend long enough
Never giving up
It just might be who we are

And so it's good that we remember
Just as soon as we've discovered
That the things we do in life
Will always end up touching others

- Trans Siberian Orchestra

Where does the "old fashioned Christmas" come from?

2008-12-09T14:57:00.005-05:00

Just for fun and interest... :)

"Charles Dickens has probably had more influence on the way that we celebrate Christmas today than any single individual in human history except one.

"At the beginning of the Victorian period the celebration of Christmas was in decline. The medieval Christmas traditions, which combined the celebration of the birth of Christ with the ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia (a pagan celebration for the Roman god of agriculture), and the Germanic winter festival of Yule, had come under intense scrutiny by the Puritans under Oliver Cromwell. The Industrial Revolution, in full swing in Dickens' time, allowed workers little time for the celebration of Christmas.

"The romantic revival of Christmas traditions that occurred in Victorian times had other contributors: Prince Albert brought the German custom of decorating the Christmas tree to England, the singing of Christmas carols (which had all but disappeared at the turn of the century) began to thrive again, and the first Christmas card appeared in the 1840s. But it was the Christmas stories of Dickens, particularly his 1843 masterpiece A Christmas Carol, that rekindled the joy of Christmas in Britain and America. Today, after more than 160 years, A Christmas Carol continues to be relevant, sending a message that cuts through the materialistic trappings of the season and gets to the heart and soul of the holidays.

"Dickens' describes the holidays as "a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of other people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys". This was what Dickens described for the rest of his life as the "Carol Philosophy".

"Dickens' name had become so synonymous with Christmas that on hearing of his death in 1870 a little costermonger's girl in London asked, "Mr. Dickens dead? Then will Father Christmas die too?""

- found at Dicken's Christmas page
photo of Dickens lady costume from this website

online video viewers, don't miss this four part youtube contribution of Richard Williams (and Chuck Jones) 1971 animated version of the Dickens Christmas Classic. It's a spooky one. Part 1 of 4 is linked below.

Oh, and "God make you mighty, gentlefolk". As "God rest ye merry, gentlemen" is prominent in this selection, it is useful to know the old fashioned meaning of the lyrics. Check out "Ace Collins' Songs of Christmas", for one. And enjoy this instrumental version performed by Simeon Wood.

Sound Thinking

2008-11-02T11:56:00.002-05:00

From Revive Our Hearts radio, October 31, 2008:

Titus 2, verse 2: First of all, “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled.” There’s our word—sophron—self-controlled. It’s of a sound mind. They’re to be “sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.”
Verse 3: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…”
Now, you don’t see the word “self-control” there, but that word “train” is in the same family in the original Greek language as the word sophron. It actually means to train them to have sound minds, to train them to think soundly, to train them to be sober-minded.
You don’t see all of that in the English translation, but that’s what’s behind it in the original. “Train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled” (verse 4). There’s our word again, sophron—sober-minded, of a sound mind. In the New American Standard Bible, you have the word sensible there. Sensible, discreet in the King James, sound-minded, of sound thinking.
That word sophron is something that, as we saw in the last session, is rooted in sound doctrine. First of all, we have to think correctly about God’s Word: Who He is, and what the gospel is, and what it looks like, and how it works. If we have sound doctrine, then that will result in sound thinking about all of life—wise, discreet, sensible, self-controlled, sound thinking about all of life. That will result in sound living.
One Bible dictionary talks about this word sophron—sensible, self-controlled. It says "this is a person that has developed the ability to govern or discipline himself, his mind, his passions, his affections, and his behavior." So it’s putting the reign on your life—your affections, your behavior, your tongue, your thoughts. Everything is being reigned in by the Holy Spirit as a result of having thinking that is sound.

Those Politics

2008-10-23T09:10:00.004-05:00

We interrupt this everyday living for some political thoughts.

As we live our lives, we do take in the world around us, not living in fear of it, but aware and understanding, and on guard for our hearts and our families.

Christian ladies, please consider this one man's thoughts and understanding of the Bible and politics: "For Whom Should a Christian Vote?"

Other thoughts on this topic by this author include:

"We Christians need to get back to what the Bible teaches us about politics. God only ever legislated that we care about one issue politically and that is found in I Timothy 2:1-2. He asked us to care that our leaders would allow us to lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and diginified in every way. Interestingly, God did not ask us to do anything political to make that happen. He asked us to pray.

. . .

"Let me also point out that God has not once ever laid on us the responsibility of trying to get the right kind of leader over our nation. Therefore, He has never laid on us any responsibility regarding our vote. It simply isn't in the Bible. If it is, please show me the book, chapter and verse.

"I do believe we are allowed to vote. I believe each of us is allowed to vote based on the issues we believe are most important. I have most often voted based on issues of abortion. I may do that again this year. Though, frankly, I am far more concerned about the fiscal positions of the candidates than their moral positions. I am thankful that the candidate I'm thinking of voting for lines up with me on both fiscal and moral issues. I don't have to make the choice.

"The point, however, is this. God has not ever directed our votes. He hasn't asked us to vote. He has not given us the responsibility to vote. He has never asked us to pass on His will via political means. Therefore, it is high time that Christians hop of their high political horses and quit acting like their candidate is God's man. It is high time Christians got back to spreading God's will the way God asked--talking to people about the Gospel. It is high time that Christians quit trying to act like God has some stake in a nation being democratic. Lest you forget, the one time God set up a nation--it was a theocratic monarchy. Therefore, it is high time we quit making a person's vote a test of their spirituality and Christianity.

"Additionally, it is also high time Christians quit throwing out their Christianity during election time. I am no fan of Obama. I hope he loses. I think he will be bad for the country. But I am so sick of receiving e-mails filled with speculative and often completely fallacious stuff to try to scare me from voting for Obama.

"Obama has not ever said he would choose his religion of Islam over his nation. He has consistently claimed to be a Christian. The statement that he would stand with the Muslims has been taken out of context and misused. He was not saying he would choose Islam over America. He was writing specifically about the issue of investigating American Muslims in the same way Japanese Americans were investigated during WWII and said if the politics of America shifted in favor of mistreating Americans because they are Muslim, he would stand with the Muslims.

"Slander and malice is not allowed among Christians even during elections. Further, we are commanded to honor our governing authorities and these commands were given when the authorities were far less favorable to Christianity than Obama will ever be. "

How Does He Know That You Love Him?

2008-10-21T19:19:00.003-05:00

". . . teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children. . ." (Titus 2:3-4)

Something to listen to today, if you have a half hour, or you can read the transcript:

"Letting God shape your husband...", from Revive Our Hearts.

I think you could get something out of that in learning how to let God take care of your child, your best friend, that person you worship with...

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more [including your husband]. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it." - Charles Spurgeon

The lesson from the day before this one, on how to love your husband is really good too.

Remember Tevye and Golde from "Fiddler on the Roof"?

Doing Good

2008-10-17T12:23:00.003-05:00

I think this lesson applies to single women who need to remember to respect and earn trust from their fathers and spiritual elders as well, so don't mark this off as a married woman thing only.

Did you ever read Proverbs 31:11-12 from the Amplified Bible - which takes several translations of the original language and combines them to get a closer possible understanding of the passage?

The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

My husband is a good man, very devoted to God and to his family, very loving and concerned for our Christian Family. He has an enormous weight on his mind and shoulders, from the responsibility given him by the Lord, whether he lives up to it perfectly or not. He loves me, regardless of whether I'm perfect or not. And I need to respect him and love him as well. Because God loves us first - so who are we to be so judgmental of others? And why do I want to give anyone, especially the person that I live with, more troubles, when I am supposed to be encouraging? I do not want to break my husband's trust in me, so I don't share problems, or secrets. And he knows that I would rather build him up in public, rather than makes jokes about him which would put him down. At least he should know that. :)

But... what if he were way less than perfect? I remember wondering when I was single, if I wound up with a louse or simply someone who didn't seem to care, could I be like Abigail, or Deborah, or Timothy's mother, and do the Right thing anyway. Of course, not being in that position, and being full of youthful zeal, I assumed that - even if he was abusive, I would be in prayer and study. Even if he kept me from a church family, I would be strong. But I know that even with the great guy I live with, and the church Families that have encouraged us so, I have had many times of personal weakness, when I return mean word for mean word, I expect more of him than myself, I don't do what I know that I should for some personal pet peeve... not considering him, but only interested in defending Myself. But, I still have a purpose and responsibility myself, to do good, regardless of how I perceive myself to be treated.

Here is another quote:

"Now, by saying that, I don’t necessarily mean absolutely. There are times when to do good to a husband may mean to appeal to the appropriate authorities at the church or the civil authorities. If a husband is breaking the law, to do him good is to get him into a position where he can be helped by the law, or restrained by the law, or by the church authorities." - Nancy Leigh DeMoss

I think that this makes sense. God never commanded us, through Proverbs or through Jesus Christ or the Apostles of the New Testament, as women, to merely "sit down and shut up", to be servile huntin' dogs who grovel at a cruel dictator's feet and still lick his hand after he's kicked us in the head. Jesus did not command that of men or of women. Look it up - that's not what "doing good" is all about, and it isn't what "submission" is all about.

Neither do I "do good" just because he "does good" to me first. That's the wrong motivation, if I'm just trying to "50-50" our relationship. I heard once that a marriage (or any Christian relationship really) should be "100-100": I give everything, you give everything. I can't expect the other person to give everything if I'm holding back. And if he's holding back? Where does the Bible say anything about "submitting to one another in the fear of Christ, but only when it's entirely equal submission between believers"?

"Doing good" so that I can be trusted is something for all women, daughters, men, husbands and even elders in the church. This isn't one of those "married with children ladies' class topics". This is for everybody. See Galatians 2:20 and Colossians 3.

Verse 23-24 reads: "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." And the whole chapter shows how we can as Christians in general show love and trust for one another, with a lesson for wives by example mentioned in the listing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May I do much better with watching my tongue, that it does good and not evil, to my husband and children, my father and brothers in Christ, and to those to whom I am supposed to be shining the Light from above, so that they can see Him in me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo above from ScotsIndependent.org - click here and scroll down to read a lovely poem in and old fashioned style about a young woman who married a beggar who turns out to be a knight.

"I press on..."

2008-10-17T08:35:00.002-05:00

"Our greatest joy lies NOT in never failing,
but in rising every time we fall."

“He who began a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

Pressing on toward the goal:

"An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels."
(Proverb 31:10)

Nice that it doesn't say "the completely perfect woman", isn't it? Sometimes I have to remember (not that it's OK to be in the imperfect shape I'm in so I don't have to do anything different, but), that it's OK to be imperfect, because my husband, my family, and my friends can see my humility and growth and dependence on God, and not some sort of put-on perfection or superiority that I don't have. I want to be like Ruth: "All the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman" (3:11). But more importantly, I want to be like what God has made me to be. Even if I can't do it exactly right all the time, the Bible says we can all be "virtuous", or "excellent". And if the Bible tells me so, well then...

... for the righteous falls seven times and rises again...
(Proverbs 24:16)

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be a light to me.
(Micah 7:8)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Praying, having devotions with the children, de-cluttering, meal planning

Addicted to Much Wine?

2008-10-14T14:49:00.003-05:00

It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
It is not for kings to drink wine,
Or for rulers to desire strong drink,
For they will drink and forget what is decreed,
And pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
- Proverb 31:4-5

Didn't think I meant all of Proverbs 31, didja?

"Older men are to be sober-minded [or temperate], dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Likewise, older women, to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, and not slaves to much wine" (Titus 2: 2-3).

The NIV says "not addicted to much wine."

I don't drink alcoholic drinks. I can't even stand the smell of fermented beverages. Here's the thing: All Scripture is inspired. We know that every word of it is necessary and is "profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16, KJV).

How does this apply to me, a Christian woman studying Proverb 31?

I think that "slaves to much wine" applies to more than drinking habits. I "interpret" this as a physical thing with a spiritual meaning, concerning indulgence and temptations of the flesh. I can't make any new laws that are not found anywhere in Scripture regarding this. I'm only trying to look at this lesson from the inspired writer whose written words were passed on and saved for my learning. I don't think this is only a checklist that I can check off, saying "oh, I'm not a drunkard. I must be wonderful." I think there's always more to learn.

First of all, the direct, physical lesson. Doesn't it hurt your physical body, which God gave you to care for and honour Him with? Whether it's wine or something else (food, sugar, caffiene, over the counter stuff) - overindulgence hurts physically. But we know that. Best not to "look at wine when it sparkles in the cup". (Proverbs 23:31-32)

But also: don't be controlled against your will by something external. "Such were some of you; but you were washed...". "Don’t get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery [wild living, excess, riot, luxury]. But instead be filled with the Holy Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18) "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. " (1 Corinthians 6:12).

And consider this: "But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols? And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble." (1 Corinthians 8:9-13)
I think that we are intelligently blessed by God enough to be able to apply "eating things devoted to idols" to our lives today.

Finally, a quote:

"And as I get older, am I living a life that’s more indulgent, more carefree, more thoughtless? Or am I living a life that is more focused, more intentional, more temperate, more wise about what I’m doing with my time and with my life?

"So I think Paul is saying, first of all here, whether you drink wine or not is not the first issue. The issue is do you have a lifestyle that is temperate, that is disciplined, that is bounded by godly ways of thinking, that is fruitful and productive?"

- ROH Radio, Nancy Leigh DeMoss

I personally have a problem with "needing" to check the computer too often, and to have coffee. There are other things, but these are the biggies, for now, in this area. Now, I don't know if the Proverbs 31 lady may have had to use a little caffeine to help her get started before the sun rose, but if she did, I'm sure she did it responsibly, not relying on it to help her through, because she put her reliance in the Lord. May my husband and children see that in my life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

praying, Bible reading, dressing nicely, turning off the computer

Challenge?

2008-10-13T16:09:00.005-05:00

Take a 31-day challenge with me and to read the 31 verses of Proverbs 31 every day for the next 31 days.

[Danger: dripping sarcasm ahead, and not one of my friends are being singled out and picked on here:]

"Ack. - Proverbs 31? Sorry - not perfect, not me: I have no husband, no children, wasn't raised in the church, don't have the money or the servants, can't sew, can't cook, don't live in Israel, yada yada yada."

Oh, I'm sorry.

Excuse me, God? Did you hear? You put something in your perfectly saved and written Word that doesn't apply to us today, which we can't even learn anything from.

And, NO, I didn't really mean that.

You know what - I dislike this chapter of Proverbs, too. It has always been some "high ideal that nobody can reach" in my mind for so long, that I've probably forgotten most of the verses I memorized for Bible class when I was younger. This lady makes me tired. She makes me feel inadequate. She makes me feel guilty.

But I'm committed to trying even more to be the woman that God made me to be. I feel confused and discouraged so many times. I argue with my husband. I let my children get away with things that I had determined to never let them get away with, and things which could very well make their future life more difficult. I end a day discouraged because I haven't done everything I wanted to do - or anything I wanted. Sometimes I spend too much time on the computer.

Consider this quote:

"You take time to look through women’s magazines to see what a beautiful woman, a beautiful home, a beautiful marriage looks like. I want to challenge you over this next month to put down those magazines. Put them away. I’m not saying they’re necessarily sinful or wrong; I’m just saying they’re what this world has to offer in terms of a picture of beauty.

"Instead, pick up this picture. Matthew Henry called it a looking glass which every woman ought to look into as she dresses herself. Pick up this picture and examine it. Take time—spend time in it studying it—and then ask yourself, “Where am I getting my picture of what it means to be a woman?” Where are you getting your ideas of womanhood? Who shaped your standard? Was it shaped by the world, or has it been shaped by the Word of God? "

I don't think I'll ever be perfect. I don't think I'll ever "be" the Proverbs 31 woman. But I'm not even going to come close to being a woman that people will look at and see Christ living in me, glorifying God, if I don't spend time in God's Word, and allowing myself to listen and learn and shed all those years of worldliness that I've let take over my thoughts.

And if my words seem a little snotty here, consider this: I'm not perfect, but hopefully, after really listening to and spending more time with God in this matter, reverently and devotedly, I'll be able to convey my thoughts more gently, more helpfully, and more Godly.

“Why did God make women? What is His purpose for us? How is it different from His purpose for creating men?” Now, there are some purposes that are similar or the same, but there are some purposes that are unique and distinctive.

Why did God create the man first, and then the woman? What does it mean for man to provide a spiritual covering and protection for a wife, and for a woman to be a responder to male initiative? Why is this a biblical way of thinking—in a culture that thinks you’ve got two heads if you talk that way, in a culture where it’s very politically incorrect to see any but the obvious physiological differences between men and women?

Why are there differences? And why are they more significant than the physiological differences? What does that mean for a woman in dating, in courtship? What does it mean for a single woman who wants to be married? What is her role? What is her responsibility? Does she go looking for a husband? How does she respond, when she has a husband, to his leadership?

What does it mean to be the woman 1 Peter 3 talks about who has a submissive spirit—who has a gentle and a quiet spirit? Does that mean she never talks? Well, it doesn’t. But what does it mean? Does it mean she doesn’t have an outgoing personality? Well, it doesn’t mean that. But what does it mean? What does it look like for women to reflect the image of God in ways that are distinctively feminine for us as women—and for women to be women in the body of Christ?"

above questions quoted from Nancy Leigh DeMoss

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Join the challenge, read the Bible, pray daily and always

True Woman

2008-10-12T09:03:00.000-05:00

A big deal in interdenominational conservative Christians recently has been the "True Woman '08" conference in Chicago, this past weekend. Put together much like many of our "ladies' weekends", speakers came and spoke, prayers and hymns were sung, and some lives were changed. Difference being that this was about 2000 ladies from several countries, from a wide variety of backgrounds (I saw in the photos women with prayer caps like the Mennonites, women acting out very "Pentecostal" like, etc.), and the speakers had all written many many books and probably most women there did not feel the same way about raising of funds for doing God's work, the importance of physical things like baptism, the Lord's Supper observances, head covering, foot washing, church buildings, etc. I did tune in to some of the free live streaming presentations. I missed John Piper and Joni Erickson Tada (you may have heard their names), but I did hear from a woman who had written a book many years ago countering the feminist "Feminine Mystique" book with her own "Feminine Mistake". Oh, how we have all been led, regardless of our doctrine as regards the follower of God, in general.

The point being brought out in all of these lessons is that part of The Doctrine that we are all missing as that of living out the teachings, traditions, commandments of Christ in our day to day lives; specifically here, us women. We aren't men. God designed from the beginning that we were to be different. And not just biologically. I know I bought into the lie. I remember smiling at the Virginia Slims ads: "You've come a long way, Baby" (from the days when we women were slaves). Thing is, we weren't slaves. We were made to be content in our role as the Church incarnate. Many women were and still are, and I dare say, even those who are not trying to follow God's written laws, or those who are following them misguidedly, or who are following laws not written by God but who believe that they are. His law is written in our hearts, and in our consciences, and we rebel against our nature and mess things up for ourselves and those around us, when we think we can do anything men can do AND have babies too. I've been learning this more and more the past few years (and I am just 40 years old now), trying to get my thinking out of all the "stuff" that I was raised up with, skipping out on Home Ec. because it was beneath me. HA! I read and hear so many younger women who think us older women are nuts and old fashioned but not truly Christian, for believing these things; and who become "doormats". Wait a minute. Jesus Christ was a doormat - Jesus washed dirty feet, and was spat on. Right? It's time, says this conference and I think so to, that we Christian ladies - especially if you feel that all those ladies at the conferences don't have the full understanding of Scripture as they should - to get up and truly be different from the world, to teach the younger women to be different, and to show our mothers and aunties who really did mean well but didn't train us correctly, that we are going to be what God made us to be: Truly different from men, in our worship, our teaching, our day to day lives.

Look at Titus 2 again - when the elders and older women are described, it is their manner of life which is focused upon. Don't you long for the kind of "Church of Christ" that we heard about (and maybe some of you lived during) when other Christians knew that if a Bible was missing during a trial that they could smilingly suggest that they could "swear on a member of the church of Christ" because they knew and lived the Word so well?

Living the doctrine of Christ. It's more than a check list. It's more than a "skirts touch knees and two fingers below the collar bone" form of modesty. It's more than 2 times a week putting up with other people "at church", and blogging on an all black and white blogspace, or avoiding blogs at all. It's more than knowing the Greek and Hebrew and having the biggest library. It's more than reading out of a lesson book for your turn at teaching the class. It's doing more than making a casserole, or signing up to host the visiting preacher for lunch.

It's living it with your whole life and your whole heart - that's true doctrine: something which transforms and makes you come out from among them and be separate. Not just another building on Church Street. Not just a great social group where no one uses bad language and watches clean movies together. But if that's all there is - a checklist - then how are we more righteous than those Pharisees? What makes us different, and therefore a light on a hill, or on a lampstand?

If we say we don't need those outside denominational preachers and teachers or videos or books or Christian counselors in order to truly live the blessed yet difficult temporary life that Christ has called us to, because He did give us the saved written Word, then let's get out there and live it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But if you're interested, here's the page where you can listen for free to the talks given at that conference I mentioned: True Woman '08. I listened to Piper's talk this morning. If you feel I'm falling off track and need to be pulled back - PLEASE let me know.

Abide With Me

2008-10-08T13:26:00.004-05:00

In lieu of the proper Christian counselor, or Christian author, or available pastor or minister who "truly" understands... in lieu of the presence of a daily significant other or best friend forever who would be always available with just the right words at just the right time, along with plenty of hugs and kisses... in lieu of the best growing up years and parents, or even pretty good growing up years and parents, schooling and teachers who cared...

I present you with merely the Truth. The One Who Cares. The Strength and Shield. The Comforter. The Sacrifice and One Who Took Your Place. May you notice that This One does indeed abide with you. Pray, beseech, fall on your knees, cry, lean, kneel and be truly humbled. And you will be lifted up, comforted, healed and made whole.

Hayley Westenra singing Abide With Me at Rugby School

ABIDE WITH ME

“They urged Him strongly, ‘Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.’” Luke 24:29

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

Not a brief glance I beg, a passing word;
But as Thou dwell’st with Thy disciples, Lord,
Familiar, condescending, patient, free.
Come not to sojourn, but abide with me.

Come not in terrors, as the King of kings,
But kind and good, with healing in Thy wings,
Tears for all woes, a heart for every plea—
Come, Friend of sinners, and thus bide with me.

Thou on my head in early youth didst smile;
And, though rebellious and perverse meanwhile,
Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee,
On to the close, O Lord, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Words: Henry F. Lyte, 1847.
Music: Eventide, William H. Monk, 1861. Mrs. Monk described the setting:

This tune was written at a time of great sorrow—when together we watched, as we did daily, the glories of the setting sun. As the last golden ray faded, he took some paper and penciled that tune which has gone all over the earth.

Lyte was inspired to write this hymn as he was dying of tuberculosis; he finished it the Sunday he gave his farewell sermon in the parish he served so many years. The next day, he left for Italy to regain his health. He didn’t make it, though—he died in Nice, France, three weeks after writing these words. Here is an excerpt from his farewell sermon:

O brethren, I stand here among you today, as alive from the dead, if I may hope to impress it upon you, and induce you to prepare for that solemn hour which must come to all, by a timely acquaintance with the death of Christ.

- Cypberhymnal

artificial beauty aids toxic?

2008-10-07T17:14:00.002-05:00

Couple of links, via FoxNews and a video clip of their Dr. Manny, answering questions on this study:

"Study: Makeup Contains Chemicals Harmful, Cancerous to Teens", October 01, 2008, FoxNews.com

Link to the study by the Environmental Working Group. Study published September 24, 2008.

Video clip: "Price of Beauty? Toxic chemicals from makeup seeping into blood"

The True Woman conference from Revive Our Hearts

2008-10-06T15:41:00.004-05:00

The following information is from the Revive Our Hearts website:

A MOVEMENT

The True Woman '08 conference is just the beginning! What we're after is a widespread movement of revival in the hearts of Christian women around the world. Here's the good news for those who can't attend the conference:

"LIVE" VIDEO FEED AVAILABLE

If you can't be in Chicago for the conference, no problem. We will bring the event to you via a "LIVE" video and audio feed.* Put the date on your calendar now, and invite your friends to enjoy the experience with you!

HERE'S HOW YOU CAN TAKE PART

Sign up below and stay tuned for further information on how to watch this "LIVE" video feed. When you sign up, you will get exclusive True Woman resource discounts and a 40-day True Woman conference prayer guide. You're obviously interested in being a true woman—just sign up so we can keep you posted.

You'll also want to sign up to receive blog updates via email or RSS to join conversations with Christian women around the world.

We want you to be a part of this global movement of true women . . .

Embracing God's created design and mission for your life
Reflecting the beauty and heart of Christ to your world
Intentionally passing the baton of Truth to the next generation
Praying earnestly for an outpouring of God's Spirit in your family, church, and world

Thanks for joining our community!

The preceding announcement is from the Revive Our Hearts website.

"The Dance"

2008-08-30T18:12:00.003-05:00

From "Seeking Him", Friday, August 29 2008:

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A married couple was telling me about ballroom dancing lessons they’d been taking.
“In order for the dance not to be a total collision, the man has got to lead, and the woman has got to follow. He has to be thinking at least one step ahead, and she has to be tuned in, flexible, and really responsive to the lead.”
I think that’s a picture of biblical manhood and true womanhood. It’s not a rigid set of rules. It’s more like a dance as a husband and wife navigate life together. They create a beautiful work of art as he initiates and she responds.
They both use the gifts God has given them, filled with His Spirit, with Christ at the head and Christ at the center. That’s what marriage was intended to be.
Have you been stepping on your husband’s toes? Ask God to help your marriage reflect His glory by empowering your husband to lead and giving you grace to follow.

Old Fashioned Christian Parenting

2008-08-29T15:19:00.001-05:00

Ah, "Family Life Today".

I listen to this online radio program from time to time, and have come across some good topics for Christian families. This past week on the broadcast, "Ginger Plowman, . . . author of the book Don't Make Me Count to Three, talks with Dennis Rainey [the show's host] about a parent's sometimes daunting task of disciplining children with love."

Click here for the series for listening and transcripts :

* Disciplining With Love (Day 1 of 5)
* Scolding--An Angry Response to Misbehavior (Day 2 of 5)
* Dealing with Whining, Tattling, and Sibling Rivalry (Day 3 of 5)
* Avoiding Traps of Ineffective Discipline (Day 4 of 5)
* No More Whining! (Day 5 of 5)

There is no non-Biblical or "sectarian" doctrine taught in this series of discussions. This is more like sitting around the table talking with other Christians about how to live according to God's will, and is not a "sermon" or Bible class situation. It's probably what we should be doing as older men and women with the younger ones among us. And there's some stuff us "older" folks can still be learning, right?

Christian ladies and gentlemen: People would rather see our sermon - how we live with and treat our families - than listen to our stumbling words uttered from a pulpit. And we all learn by observing truth in action. More of us are preachers and teachers than we realize. We'd better be sure we're "proclaiming" the right things in everything we do, as unto the LORD. And thankfully, we were never told in any scripture (that I am aware of) that we have to "wing it" on our own; rather we are to encourage one another, and let your light so shine that those in the dark may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Praying for one another . . .

Singing at Midnight

2008-08-15T13:12:00.001-05:00

Author: Joanne Beckley
Price: $8.00
Description:
Aging is a fact of life. But growing old doesn’t mean it’s time to shirk our responsibilities to God and stop the work in His kingdom. In LEARNING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT, author Joanne Beckley talks of this little written about, but important time in a woman’s life. In her study she discusses spiritual strength and wisdom that is gained through life’s experiences. Also discussed are the topics of society and aging, changes and adjustments we face after retirement, plus instruction on how to grow spiritually and the hindrances we will most likely encounter. LEARNING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT shows us that although we must grow older, we should be maturing in Christ. 12 chapters, 76 pages.

Sun Protection is Modest

2008-08-11T14:44:00.004-05:00

OK - not that the act of protecting oneself from the sun is a modest act, but it uses the same type of clothing. Check out this site I just came across: www.Coolibar.com - specializing in sun protective clothing and accessories, for men, women and children. They're having an end of summer sale.

You might think that the "burqini" was a silly idea. Or some of those modest suits that Christian ladies make and sell online (like wholesomewear.com or modest-swimwear.com) too. But these suit styles are also sold and worn by non-Christian and non-religious people, to care for their bodies. Maybe we need to get over our preconceived ideas about what we can bike, walk, work out, garden or swim in.

You might think that this site is "too expensive". Not everyone shops at the Goodwill only, and will find these prices reasonable. If you do - like I do - shop mostly at resale stores, you might not get to buy one of these for a while. I wonder if a really active outdoorsman or woman would consider something like this a good investment, like purchasing a good quality pair of shoes. "You just can't skimp on your health" (grin).

I don't work for these guys and they're not paying me. (If they would just give me some free samples...) Just wanted you all to be aware of what's out there.

They even have swimming skirts. :)

"Mature Audiences"

2008-07-26T20:58:00.003-05:00

I did not write this article, but I heartily agree. I suppose we would rather have others think of us as mature as opposed to immature sometimes, but the word's meaning is getting rather slurred. Can we not grow up gracefully, and applaud wisdom and discretion?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Mature Audiences Only

Keith and I have wondered out loud lately, how a word that should be a compliment, “adult,” has come to mean something bad--adult bookstores, adult movies, adult shops. If a person knew no better, and walked into one of those places what would he see that could be described as “mature” the way the scriptures use the word? It reminds me of Isaiah’s warning: Woe unto those who call evil good and good evil; who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put sweet for bitter, and bitter for sweet, 5:20.

I think there should be a new movie rating: AM. It stands for “adolescent mentality.” Any movie that uses such a meager vocabulary that most of the words have only four letters, that has no dramatic, tension building dialogue lasting longer than ninety seconds before throwing in an explosion or gunfight to get the audience’s attention again, and of course, one that attempts to satisfy the prurient interests of the hormonally-explosive adolescent would get my new rating. Then those of us who want to behave like real adults, who have larger vocabularies, who don’t need voyeurism to get our kicks, and who have an attention span longer than a minute or two can actually enjoy real adult entertainment.

The problem with having an adolescent mentality when it comes to entertainment is that it spills over into the rest of our lives. Can I sit still long enough to pray? Make yourself pray at least ten minutes today, by the clock. Can you? You see, once you get past the standard phrases, two minutes at most, you can really open up to your God, and talk to him. If you cannot sit still that long, you may have never really prayed.

Can I follow a rational argument long enough to study the first 11 chapters of Romans, arguably Paul’s greatest thesis? Can I study without being led by the hand, or do I simply rely on someone else to do it for me? Do I have the maturity to honestly examine myself and actually try to do better? Being a Christian may mean fighting some important battles, but the biggest are usually fought inside yourself and against yourself, with quiet implosions, not loud explosions.

When we start out, we are all babes in Christ, but he expects us to grow up eventually. That means some tedious work listening to sermons, attending classes, doing our own Bible study. Adults understand that not everything can be fun. It means some long, quiet moments with God. It means some painful moments of self-discovery. Are we adult enough to handle it? Our society’s brand of entertainment speaks otherwise, and unfortunately, society usually winds up worming its way into the body of Christ.

When Paul told the Corinthians to Act like men, in 1 Cor 16:13, he was bringing the epistle to its logical end. While Act like men refers to courage under fire, maybe it can mean something else as well. In chapter three he calls them “babies,” but now perhaps he is also saying, “Act like adults.” Would he say the same thing to us?

But I, brothers, could not speak to you as spiritual men, but as carnal, as babies in Christ. I fed you with milk, not with meat, for you were not able, and even now you are not able, for you are yet carnal…For everyone who partakes of milk is without experience in the word of righteousness, for he is a baby. But solid food is for full-grown men who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil…Be watchful, stand firm in the faith. Act like men, be strong. 1 Cor 3:1-3; Heb 5:13,14; 1 Cor 16:13

~ Dene Ward

It's July 25th. Do you know where your "Christmas Spirit" is?

2008-07-25T14:00:00.004-05:00

I just got to thinking about how we all felt and were acting around the 25th of December. It was all about gifting others, being thankful, being with family, making the house pretty and preparing special foods. Music was all uplifting and joyful, and we had our minds on higher things. Are we still celebrating, I wonder? Lots of busy me time and lazy summer break time. We've got to keep that Spirit stirred up in us, all the year long.

Are we thinking more of others?
Does children's laughter make us smile?
Are we thinking less of self
while serving others for a while?

Lest we forget - let us always be reminded of what God put us here to be.

At Christmas

Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)

A man is at his finest towards the finish of the year;
He is almost what he should be when the Christmas season is here;
Then he's thinking more of others than he's thought the months before,
And the laughter of his children is a joy worth toiling for.
He is less a selfish creature than at any other time;
When the Christmas spirit rules him he comes close to the sublime.

When it's Christmas man is bigger and is better in his part;
He is keener for the service that is prompted by the heart.
All the petty thoughts and narrow seem to vanish for awhile
And the true reward he's seeking is the glory of a smile.
Then for others he is toiling and somehow it seems to me
That at Christmas he is almost what God wanted him to be.

If I had to paint a picture of a man I think I'd wait
Till he'd fought his selfish battles and had put aside his hate.
I'd not catch him at his labors when his thoughts are all of self,
On the long days and the dreary when he's striving for himself.
I'd not take him when he's sneering, when he's scornful or depressed,
But I'd look for him at Christmas when he's shining at his best.

Man is ever in a struggle and he's oft misunderstood;
There are days the worst that's in him is the master of the good,
But at Christmas kindness rules him and he puts himself aside
And his petty hates are vanquished and his heart is opened wide.
Oh, I don't know how to say it, but somehow it seems to me
That at Christmas man is almost what God sent him here to be.

Honour thy father . . . - Ephesians 6:2

2008-06-21T09:31:00.003-05:00

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - Proverb

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young,
Who loved thee so fondly as he?
He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue,
And joined in thy innocent glee. - Margaret Courtney

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction
and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
They will be a garland to grace your head
and a chain to adorn your neck. - Proverb 1:8-9

It's not an easy thing to be a father here on earth, setting up the idea of what a father is to those who will one day call God their Father in heaven. There are scores of poems written to honour mothers; quotes, songs, pictures and cards. As if we don't acknowledge all the time the need that we all have for a mother. But where are the beautiful poems for fathers? Praise is given to soldiers, to teachers and professors, to firemen and policemen, to doctors, philosophers and explorers, to heroes of the old west... .

But where is the praise for the man who teaches his children respect, love, and praise, and holds these to be his most important tasks? Where are the books about the men who gave up the six figure salaries because they realized that it was more important to be there for their family, and taught them to appreciate the love of God and of others first of all? Where are the songs for Dear Old Dad that actually praise his decision making and respect his authority in the home? That acknowledge the heavy responsibilities of being a father, and also expound on the rewards? Where are the poems and lists of the qualities of a great man? We overlook the faults of the mother and hold her to be an angel, but ridicule and belittle Dad because he forgets to put down the toilet seat, or can't show teary emotions.

Lift up your heads, oh, Dads! Stand tall and strong, like God made you to be! Don't cower and cringe behind the woman who thinks she can "do it all" - because she really can't! So what if you aren't perfect - neither are the mothers who have all those lovely poems and posies given them every May. Perhaps there are not so many poems for you because as a strong tough non-emotional guy you don't think you need them. You do need our praise and respect. For God commands us both in the Old and New Testaments to honour thy father.

I've decided I need to be telling my Husband and my Dad and my Father in Law how much I respect and need them, in things I say and do. And I respectfully remind you to do the same for the men in your life - even those who aren't fathers. They are men, made in the image of God, a little lower than the angels, and we need to show them respect, like fathers and brothers, Paul told Timothy.

- LisaM

God our Father,
in your wisdom and love you made all things.
Bless these men,
that they may be strengthened as Christian fathers.
Let the example of their faith and love shine forth.
Grant that we, their sons and daughters,
may honor them always
with a spirit of profound respect.

- found online

Old Fashioned Man

2008-06-14T10:54:00.008-05:00

Please condsider this: old fashioned ladies need old fashioned gentlemen - just as they need us. Check the following links:

Manhood: Let the Truth be Told
series from "Family Life Today" - also see this website for other information on Biblical (i.e. "old-fashioned") men, women and families

My Man, My Protector 6/13/2008 (Day 3 of 3)

Dennis Rainey talks with Promise Keeper President Tom Fortson and his wife of more than 36 years, Toni, about a man's responsibility to protect his family spiritually and physically.

Guests Include: Tom & Toni Fortson

Mentoring the Next Generation 6/12/2008 (Day 2 of 3)

Eliminate the leader--the man from the home, and the family is up for grabs.' Those are the words of Promise Keeper President, Tom Fortson. Tune in to hear Tom share a heartwarming story about his own father's love for him.

Guests Include: Tom & Toni Fortson

Exposing the Truth About Pornography 6/11/2008 (Day 1 of 3)

There's a problem in our midst, and it's destroying our sons. Tom Fortson, president and CEO of Promise Keepers, talks with Dennis Rainey about the widespread problem of pornography.

Guests Include: Tom & Toni Fortson

Manhood: Let the Truth Be Told (Special Offer)
Every Man's Battle (Paperback)
Manhood: Let the Truth Be Told (Paperback)
Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) (Hardback)
Raising a Modern-Day Knight (Paperback)
Manhood: Let the Truth Be Told (FamilyLife Today Audio CD)
Promise Keepers (website)

What I Want to Be

2008-06-07T16:05:00.012-05:00

This is so good. I have a feeling our men would think so too. I'm sorry I don't think this way more. Hoping my sorrow will lead to repentance in this regard.

Oh, I must be away - so much to do!

(image from Addison Galleries)
~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blue Bowl

All day long I did the little things,
The little things that do not show;
I brought the kindling for the fire,
I set the candles in a row,
I filled a bowl with marigolds—
The shallow bowl you love the best—
And made the house a pleasant place
Where weariness may take its rest.

The hours sped on, my eager feet
Could not keep pace with my desire.
So much to do! So little time!
I could not let my body tire.
Yet when the coming of the night
Blotted the garden from my sight,
And on the narrow graveled walks
Between the guarding flower stalks
I heard your step, I was not through
With services I meant for you.

You came into the quiet room
That glowed enchanted with the bloom
Of yellow flame. I saw your face;
Illumined by the firelit space,
Slowly grow still and comforted—
“It’s good to be at home,” you said.

~ Blanch Bane Kuder

(found at Ladies Against Feminism - please also find time to read the article at this link)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

(is not the writer of Genesis is the master of understatement?)

Walk Like a Lady

2008-06-04T13:47:00.007-05:00

Many of my readers know that I consider myself a follower of Christ, and as such, I want to reflect that belief in my style of life. I don't want to cast a dim view on that which I hold to be divine and holy, and so I am careful - circumspect, to use the old fashioned word - in my walk. Sometimes I stumble, as we all do, but we press on.

A lady is known by so many things in her life. Not merely white gloves and high tea - if known by this at all! Consider the following motherly poem:

You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
By the very manner in which you speak,
By the way you employ your leisure time,
By the use you make of dollar and dime.

You tell what you are by the things you wear,
By the spirit in which you burdens bear,
By the kind of things at which you laugh,
By the records you play on the phonograph.

You tell what you are by the way you walk,
By the things of which you delight to talk,
By the manner in which you bear defeat,
By so simple a thing as how you eat.

By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:
In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.

--- Author Unknown

Proverb 4:23 instructs:
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

What is in a lady's heart, is what is seen in her life. You can neither pretend to be a lady if your heart and mind are filled with unlady-like things, nor hide the fact that you are a daughter of the King of kings if your heart and mind are filled with the knowledge that you indeed are a "princess".

Choose ye this day whom ye will serve... whether your husband, or your boss; your children, or everyone else's children; your self, or your God. Then put your heart into it. People will know what you have chosen, whether you like it or not, for man sees the outward appearance.

Guard your heart, and your footsteps. Walk like a lady.

photo above taken from the book by Kenichi Kawakatsu, "Kimono" of 1936

see also the WikiHow on How to Act Like a Lady
and a devotional article called, "Ladybug, Ladybug," from the CreativeLadiesMinistry

Modest is Beautiful

2008-06-03T15:19:00.005-05:00

I found this editorial comment recently, and thought it important to pass on to those who are striving to be more modest and lady-like, but who might get confused with that personal desire to still remain physically beautiful. You can do it. I found the simple wording in this letter well put.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Modest and beautiful"
from Canada.com, Friday, May 30, 2008

Re: "A contradiction?" (Letters, May 29).
First, on the basis of absolutely nothing, Ken Shore equates modesty with a desire to be unattractive. It's an untenable link. Just as it's possible to be both modest and attractive (e.g. my wife in a business suit), it's equally possible to be both immodest and unattractive (e.g. me in a Speedo). [emphasis mine, LisaM]
But then from this flimsy perch, Shore leaps to the absurd conclusion that a woman he saw wearing both lipstick and a hijab was forced to wear the latter (but not the former). Surely it's equally possible she was just trying to be like my wife: modest and attractive. Or is Shore suggesting that a woman must be immodest to be attractive?
It's possible Shore possesses an impeccably logical mind, but in this case,it appears to have been impeded by his clear antipathy toward those who don't share his secular principles.
Aidan Murphy
Ottawa

I have not posted to this blog lately, and hope to continue to make available links and thoughts from others to encourage you - and me - to continuing in "old fashioned lady-likeness". Thanks to those of you who have continued to read my blog and the links from here, and have let me know. I am glad to know that this blog has been an encouragement to you on your way.

Because of the number of articles and blog entries that I was coming across concerning the subject of head coverings, from secular and spiritual points of view, I started another blog, at blogspot, called "Those Headcoverings". If you are so inclined, I would appreciate your stopping by to the blog, or the website of the same name that I had put together when doing research for myself concerning this topic of head covering. Leave me a note there or send an email to let me know what you think. Or send a link that you think I might find interesting. Thank you again for your encouragement.

~ LisaM

Motherhood - A Tribute

2008-05-13T09:53:00.003-05:00

MOTHERHOOD

The bravest battle that ever was fought!
Shall I tell you where and when?
On the maps of the world you will find it not;
'Twas fought by the mothers of men.

Nay not with the cannon of battle-shot,
With a sword or noble pen;
Nay, not with eloquent words or thought
From mouths of wonderful men!

But deep in a walled-up woman's heart --
Of a woman that would not yield,
But bravely, silently bore her part --
Lo, there is the battlefield!

No marshalling troops, no bivouac song,
No banner to gleam and wave;
But oh! those battles, they last so long --
From babyhood to the grave.

Yet, faithful still as a bridge of stars,
She fights in her walled-up town --
Fights on and on in her endless wars,
Then silent, unseen, goes down.

Oh, ye with banners and battle-shot,
And soldiers to shout and praise!
I tell you the kingliest victories fought
Were fought in those silent ways.

O spotless woman in a world of shame,
With splendid and silent scorn,
Go back to God as white as you came --
The kingliest warrior born!

Joaquin Miller (1839-1913)

The High Calling for Noble Ladies

2008-05-03T10:26:00.004-05:00

From the latest radio series conversation from (click here:) Revive Our Hearts:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bob Lepine: I’ll never forget a conversation I was having once with two college professors. These professors taught what is a dying discipline on the college campus. They were teaching Home Economics. They were meeting with a group of young college women. They said to these women, “How many of you hope that some day you will be married and that you will be parents, that you’ll be a mom?”

And virtually all of the women raised their hands. That was their hope and their longing. And these college professors said, “How come you’re not taking Home Economics classes?” And one of them said, “Because my dad said, ‘I’m not spending all that money sending you to college just so you can learn how to cook and clean the house.’”

We do seem to live in a culture today that is somewhat confused about what God’s intention for a woman is when it comes to career, when it comes to her role in the home, and it’s one of the issues that young women are having to address, having to confront.

In fact, I remember speaking to a group of teenage girls once, talking to them about their plans for going to college, what they were planning to major in, and what they hoped to be doing five or ten years from now. Virtually all of them gave me career answers to that question, and when I stopped and said, “What about marriage and family? Is that something that you’re interested in?” They said, “Oh yeah.” But their thinking was career not how do I prepare to be a wife and a mom.

This is one of those challenging issues for us in today’s culture.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, Dannah, as you talk with teenage girls, as you talk with them today, how is this shaping their thinking, and how is it subtly influencing them in a directional way from what God would have for them?

Dannah: Well, I don’t think it’s very subtle. I think it’s pretty direct. What’s frightening to me is we’ve had the issue of young women saying, “I don’t know if I want to submit to my husband when I have a husband; I don’t know if I really want to have a husband.” Within the last five years or so, they are increasingly saying, “I don’t know if I want to have kids, at all, ever. I haven’t seen that be a good thing. I don’t want to be tied to that. I don’t want to be slowed down.”

It’s frightening to me that this isn’t just a cultural pressure anymore, but it’s something within the church.

Bob: So the lie that teenage girls are believing today is that being a mom, being a wife, is not something that has any real value. Is that it?

Nancy: It’s not just what a woman’s role is, but it goes back to this whole thing of our calling and our design as women, and the fact that God made women and men for distinctive, unique purposes to bring Him glory in this world, that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about our fulfillment or our happiness. I think we had stripped from us, in the last two or three generations, the sense of what it even means to be a woman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Honestly, it wasn’t until I was probably in my early twenties that I started grappling with:

What did it mean?
What does it mean for me to be a woman?
Why did God make me a woman?
Why is that a good thing?
How can I glorify God as a woman?

I think I was probably in my early thirties before I was really comfortable with that, and not just comfortable. What God did was so sweet. It’s not just something I said, “Okay, I surrender to this.” There was that, but more than that there was embracing a vision for how my life could distinctively glorify God as a woman and finding joy and freedom and fullness in that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please read or listen to the series: (click here:) Revive Our Hearts.

Outward Appearance

2008-04-30T19:07:00.003-05:00

Don’t assume oppression because of extremely modest dressing or old-fashioned styles
- mensnewsdaily.com

That's the thought of the article, and a sentence worth thinking about.

How many "old fashioned ladies" are assumed to be oppressed by their husbands or religious leaders? ashamed of their bodies? ignorant and out of touch with reality?

Since modesty goes much deeper into a person's heart than just what they put on, it behooves those who do not understand the concept of modesty to quit judging those who practice modesty of dress and behaviour by their own standards of un- modesty. Would anyone want to be judged a "loose woman", mannish, or femi-nazi by mere appearances, when they were not? Of course, everyone wants to be known for who they really are - appearances shouldn't matter.

But, as scripture says, "Man looks on the outward appearance, but [only] God sees the heart."

Quotes of the week

2008-04-22T07:32:00.004-05:00

"Everything old is new again"

Domestic Felicity quotes her husband:

"I hope you never, ever have to work outside the home. I love the way you care for our home. I love the way you wait for me with a smile when I come back from work. Sure, you have been doing things all day, but you feel a sense of satisfaction because you do it all for us. You aren't exhausted from running around and trying to have it all together. You aren't a slave to another man's schedule. In the evenings, we have plenty of time to sit together and talk, without arguing about whose day was more difficult. I just love it."

Sigh. Domestic Felicity was a good choice of name for this young lady.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mod, not mode, is choice for real girls", by Shanna Flowers, the Roanoke Times:

Parents and their daughters deserve a standing ovation for fighting back over the supersexualized, skin-revealing fashions that gained traction with the young set in recent years.

Just like the women who inspired the look, including Paris and Britney, sexy is so last season. Mod -- as in modesty -- is increasingly in vogue for young girls.

Modest doesn't mean frumpy. Girls can be fashionable without looking like hoochie mamas in training.

"I think it's kind of gross," said DeAnna, who attends Ruffner Middle School. "Why would you want to go around wearing clothes that show all your underwear?"

Shrinking profits recently forced Victoria's Secret executive Sharen Turney to concede that her company has gotten too sexy. She reviewed her company's Pink line, marketed to younger women and girls, and called for a return to a more sophisticated brand.

Fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus, better known as Hannah Montana, received kudos for her stylish yet age-appropriate gown at the Academy Awards. And a faith-based group called Pure Fashion is cropping up in cities across America promoting modest fashions.

If that bit about Victoria's Secret doesn't make you smile, at least sigh a bit that the seed has been planted. Maybe it will grow even there. We aren't alone, Gentle Ladies.

Apparently, the backlash against sexy is working.

And maybe stores are responding by stocking racks and shelves with more fashions that don't bare all.

The move toward modesty should bring a smile to parents concerned about the sexualization of youngsters. It should satisfy critics who have justifiably complained about the fashion images peddled to young girls. It will remove bare skin from schools that don't need yet another distraction in the classroom.

And the final quote, which I really like:

If girls, indeed, are sugar and spice, the recipe for fashion success should be for a dash of spice -- not the whole container.

"the title of lady has gone out with the word modesty"

2008-04-08T10:47:00.004-05:00

I'm just going to repost this article word for word, from Barbara Bova, of naplesnews.com.

Women don’t need a black belt to defend themselves

What do hatpins and stiletto heels have in common?

Recently the Boston public transportation system has engaged the services of uncover agents to catch gropers on their trains. Gropers are those slimy perverts who grab women’s breasts and other private parts in public situations that mask their actions.

Crowds. Movie theaters. Elevators.

However, with media attention, it seems that everything gets blown out of proportion these days. Every discomfort is solved with another bureaucratic taxpayer-supported program when there are proactive ways to handle the problem.

Women were once able to figure out how to fend for themselves. They were once a self-sufficient sex. But now that women are equal, they want to be more than equal. That means getting government help for every distraction.

Gropers can be contained. Women just need to use their brains more. Gropers are nothing more than perverts who should and can be stopped by their prey before they attack. That’s where hatpins come in handy. I grew up riding the New York subway system. It was there I learned that a hatpin in the hand is a worthy instrument for defense. Anyone getting too close for comfort found himself pricked and quickly moved away. Perverts don’t pick on women who look fierce. They want the meek and mild who won’t put up a fuss but just look embarrassed and not harassed. The hatpin is a great weapon in any dangerous situation.

Another wonderful method of defense is the stiletto heel. These shoes may be horrible for the back and for long walks but they are remarkable armaments. Once, when my cousin was sitting in a movie theater, the man next to her tried to grope her. She got up from her seat and as she passed him by, she stomped her stiletto heel into his foot. I bet that was the last time he ever groped any woman again. This can also work well in a crowded bus or train. Sneakers, on the other hand, are comfy but can’t ward off a groper.

These days girls or young women (the title of lady has gone out with the word modesty) are inclined to wear clothes that are barely there. Common sense has been exchanged for the political correctness nonsense that says women are free to wear whatever they want. That women have turned to looking like hookers and Lolitas just ignores the nature of men. [emphasis mine, LM]

Nature intended that men impregnate any and all females. That’s why there are harems in the so many cultures. That’s why many Muslim men make their women cover up. They are just admitting that the males in their culture are animals in heat and can’t control their sexual urges. Their solution is not to control their desires but to hide their women so other men won’t be tempted. In a way this makes some sense, but it also makes women prisoners.

Here in the U.S., women are free to show it all. Some apparently think this makes them more attractive. Instead, they have tossed out the mystery and allure females once possessed when they had some modesty. American men are no different from men in other countries. Look at all the men of power and politics who have ruined their lives because they succumbed to their basest desires. A woman doesn’t have to wear a chador to be safe here but those who play enticing games to attract male attention should be ready for some nasty things to happen, especially in a crowded public transport.

Reach Barbara Bova at: babovacolumn@aol.com

Old Fashioned Home Economics Video

2008-04-03T14:55:00.004-05:00

When you have a half an hour, watch "The Home Economics Story" (1951) - how school can prepare you for home life. I know my college years did very little to prepare me for home and family. I should have taken Home Ec.

Aggressive Girls

2008-03-27T14:23:00.005-05:00

Radio Series: Understanding Aggressive Girls, on FamilyLife Today, with Dennis Rainey

I came across this series on OnePlace.com, conversations between concerned fathers about the influence of aggressiveness in girls. Text messages, phone calls, emails - girls chasing boys, but beyond what some of us know as simply being "boy crazy". What can a parent do for their sons, to train them up to be able to turn away from girls who are not growing up to be "ladies", even those who are supposed to be religious. This is a Christian based discussion, of the "evangelical" persuasion, but so applicable to all who live in a modern world.

"Aggressive girls will occur in your sons' life."

Check out these episodes:

Aggressive Girls
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
A New Phenomenon or An Old Problem?
More and more parents are expressing concern about the number of young women actively pursing their sons. On today's broadcast, family expert Dennis Rainey sheds some light on this new phenomenon and coaches parents on what to do when they see it happening.

Warning: Bad Girls Ahead
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Today on the broadcast, best-selling author and speaker Dennis Rainey talks honestly with parents about protecting their sons from overly aggressive girls.

Equipping Your Sons for Battle
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Would your son know what do to if he was propositioned by a member of the opposite sex? What about a member of the same sex? Today on the broadcast, Dennis Rainey, author of numerous books including Parenting Today's Adolescent and Interviewing Your Daughter's Date, speaks frankly to parents about equipping sons to handle aggressive girls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Read the Proverbs, chapters 5-7. From chapter 7:

My son, keep my words,
And treasure my commands within you.
Keep my commands and live,
And my law as the apple of your eye.
Bind them on your fingers;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
And call understanding your nearest kin,
That they may keep you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may also want to check out these books, for families with children about 7-12 (or so), called "The Princess and the Kiss" and "The Squire and the Scroll", from Revive Our Hearts. We just got them, and they really seem to be a good resource for helping to teach purity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. - Psalm 119:9

~~~~~~~~~~~~

How Shall The Young Secure Their Hearts? - all verses by Isaac Watts, old music version with midi

The Latest on Pure Fasion

2008-03-24T10:01:00.002-05:00

You are what you wear

CATHOLIC GROUP PROMOTES MODEST DRESS FOR TEENS

By Martha Waggoner
Associated Press

Article Launched: 03/23/2008 01:33:24 AM PDT

Click photo to enlarge

This April 2007 photo provided by Michael Williams

CARY, N.C. - Imagine a home with a teenage girl where the most contentious argument over clothes involves whether it's OK for the lace on a camisole to peek through the top or bottom of a shirt.

That seems to be the case with 15-year-old Morgan Morrissette, whose mother, Shelley, is the founder and organizer of a local Pure Fashion group, a Catholic-based organization that promotes modesty and purity among teenage girls.

"I think it's modest because it's a camisole with lace on it," Morgan says. "And my dad's like, 'you know what the guys think, they think it's underwear with lace on it.' "

It's a small quibble in these days where fashion seems to find a new body part to expose each season - from bare midriffs to cleavage to the cheeks not on the face.

Pure Fashion is one group of teenage girls moving the other direction. At spring fashion shows by 18 affiliates in the United States and Canada, teens model clothes that abide by guidelines such as "necklines no lower than four fingers below the collar bone" and pants that fit loosely enough that they can be pulled away from the leg.

Groups such as Pure Fashion could be a mere blip on the fashion radar screen, aided by a poor economy that says hemlines go up when life is good and down when the dollar plummets. Or it might be the start of a movement to excise from public memory images of Janet Jackson's nipple or Britney Spears' nether regions.

So, are high-waisted jeans a replacement for the low-rise variety? What do we make of CEO Sharen Turney's statement that Victoria's Secret has become "too sexy" and that the lingerie chain needs to focus on feminine?

"I think what's happening is that we've reached the limit of the 'if you've got it, flaunt it,' philosophy and we're seeing the power of a little mystery and glamour," said Wendy Shalit, author of 1999's "A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue" and 2007's "Girls Gone Mild."

"When exhibitionism becomes the norm, the fact is, it gets boring," Shalit wrote in response to e-mail questions.

Pure Fashion is an outgrowth of Challenge Clubs, groups for girls in Catholic churches. Morrissette's group's membership is about 60 percent Catholic and about 40 percent other Christian religions. But modest clothing has roots in many religions; Shalit, for example, is Jewish.

She says the role of religion has been overstated, citing the "girlcotting" of Abercrombie & Fitch for its T-shirts that read "Who Needs Brains When You Have These?" as an example. The girls "just wanted a different definition of empowerment," she said.

National Pure Fashion director Brenda Sharman, herself a model who has been signed by Elite Model Management in Atlanta, says that while Pure Fashion has guidelines for how to dress, fashion has too many variables for hard and fast rules.

"I think we're trying to remind our kids that certain outfits are appropriate at some times and not appropriate at some times," Sharman said in a telephone interview.

"I think that women need to examine their intentions when they're getting dressed. Getting dressed with the intention to be pure is different than getting dressed with the intention to lure. Out in public, people will get an impression about them, and they need to be aware that their clothing sends a message about them."

For Shalit, that's not even the issue. The real issue, she says, is sexuality at too young an age.

"Lots of girls have really good instincts but the media, peers - and sometimes even parents - can wear them down, all under the guise of empowerment. What I'm trying to do is to present a viable alternative to this pressure, and to let girls know that it's OK to be themselves," she says.

Modesty News

2008-03-10T19:19:00.001-05:00

1 - In "The Tide Online", an article detailing how a Catholic leader in Nigeria is calling on churches to take responsibility for not teaching about modesty. “Repentance comes in various ways. Bad dressing depicts a person’s level of immorality. . . . The Catholic Church has no code of dressing, but we say let there be modesty because modesty is the fruit of the Holy Spirit,” he said.

He also puts responsibility on mothers to teach and take a more active interest in what their daughters wore, as well as setting a good example. “We need to dress like people who have been redeemed by the blood of Jesus and we should not forget that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit ,” he said.

2 - In New Hampshire.com, an article with photos which headlines: "'Posh' fashion event shows modesty can be fashionable". Good news? Well, check out the photos and the story - maybe not the level of modesty that some of us would hold up, but a switch from other "prom" dresses of recent years. End quote: “I was surprised at the girls’ willingness to talk about how they should be dressing,” Thomas said. “I really didn’t think we were going to have a lot of girls that were going to want to do this.” . . . Modest may be the new fashion trend for this summer.

3 - Just a things-that-make-you-go-"what?" article I came across in Cleveland.comabout a new tech. device/burka (the head to toe modesty cloak worn by some Muslim women when in public). Seems some wise Deutch guy came up with an artistic (not actually on the market, that is) way for a woman to skirt the community rules and actually "broadcast" what she's got under her burka to anyone around with a bluetooth enabled phone. That whole concept can be attacked in numerous ways. The thing I wanted to post really was the final line by a lady fellow at the Center for Muslim-Christian Understanding at Georgetown University. She said that this "art" sends an accurate political message that restrictive policies in Muslim countries cannot force people to be moral in a technological age, since people will find ways to get around it. . . . "These days, if you really want to maintain the morality of society, it's something that has to come from within," she said.

So, you really can't legislate morality. True morality, true modesty, true spiritual humility: they come from the Spirit of God, don't they? So, shouldn't we be focusing our time and attention on teaching the whole Gospel - that of love for God and His will, and love for one another's souls - by words and by our behavior in everything?

IMHO

Those Headcoverings

2008-03-01T17:04:00.004-05:00

Google Labs has introduced a Google web page creator. I had to try it out, and share information on a subject that I have done a lot of research on - though not nearly as much as many of the web sites that I link to on the site.

Please, if you get a chance to check it out, go to:

Those Headcoverings

and see for yourself what so many people are saying about those things people wear on their heads. Since the page is still under construction, I would really like to have feedback on what I have done, and maybe should do, with this web site, to make it the most helpful for people to do their own research and come to conclusions on the matter.

If you would like to read my own conclusions, I wrote about Christian head covering when I first began this Old Fashioned Lady blog. Click the link below the article to view all the blog entries I've made with the label "headcovering".

Also, the Christian, Islamic, Jewish and "Other" website links and information are kept in lists in separate pages, so you can limit your research to one subject, since the general heading of "headcovering" can be quite a lot of work.

Please let me know what you think - pro or con.

Humbly yours,

LisaM

2008-02-25T21:53:00.002-05:00

Scandalous to say, modesty is creeping back into vogue

Fashion Blog?

2008-02-16T10:40:00.009-05:00

I just realized that I've turned my blog for "old fashioned" ladies into a modest fashion blog. I am sorry for looking like a one topic woman, since that is not like a competent, multi-interest lady. So, here's one more fashion website - not necessarily about modesty - that I found. Does anyone know how to make something like this? These are so cute. And, they do look a little old fashioned, don't they?

http://www.snoodie.net/

Real Old-Fashioned Clothing for Today's Ladies

2008-02-14T12:16:00.004-05:00

Visiting Offbeatmodestdress, I found her link to In Timely Fashion and read this interview with Kara Shallenberg. The site is dedicated to dressing almost exclusively in fashions from the past. You must see!

Modest Clothing Sites

2008-02-13T13:41:00.005-05:00

I've gotten a couple of requests to promote modest clothing sites this past week that are kind of cute, trendy, modest sites - price ranges I guess are about department store in the mall prices (?). Please, check out:

- http://www.mikarose.com/
- http://www.christa-taylor.com/

Here's the letter that came with the second:

I wanted to let you know about a new company that may be of interest to you and your readers. Christa Taylor is a Christian 20 year old designer dedicated to producing high quality chic and trendy clothing that allows women to be fashionable without being suggestive. She resounding rejects the notion that modesty must be frumpy and has set out to disprove that notion through her clothing line. Christa operates her business as a family enterprise involving two brothers, her father and two sisters. She is also committed to donating at least 5% of her sales to the poor and towards advancing social justice around the world. You can find her site at http://www.christa-taylor.com . We would love for you to check us out and possibly list us a resource on your site.. . . Thanks for your time and consideration.
Stephen Taylor"

(photo on left from Mikarose; photo on right from Christa-Taylor)

I also posted a couple of photos from their sites, so that you can see the length of the skirts and dresses that are offered. Most who have read my blog in the past know that I am a long skirt lady, but I know that many of you are not, and so I want to recommend that you check out these two websites for encouragement to keep on being a modest lady in your corner of the world. We are not alone!

Definition of Modesty, & etc.

2008-02-11T15:39:00.001-05:00

From Elizabeth Elliot's "Gateway to Joy"(please read the full article at this link for the context):

What does modesty mean? Well, it means placing a low estimate on one's own merits, not being forward or showing off. It means unpretentious. Modesty means to be free from undue familiarity, from indecency, from lewdness, pure in thought and conduct. Speaking of modest apparel, it means decent, seemly. The opposite of modesty is conceit, boldness, immodesty, brazenness, lewdness.

Let's think first what immodesty says about us women before we talk about what its effects may be upon others. What are your Christian standards? Do you seek to be noticed, to make a splash when you come into a room? Or do you seek to be simple, humble, gentle and quiet in spirit and not wearing the very latest fashions nor looking frumpy by wearing something that's way out of date. We do have to conform to a certain degree, but there're always classic clothes. Those are the ones that I try to stick with because they last for many years. I have a suit now that I think is 17 years old and I just wore it about a week ago. I wear things, which are tailored and simple and classic.

But we're talking about these low-cut dresses, sleeveless blouses, see-through blouses and the slit skirts. Does a man's thought life have a problem? Well, of course. As both of these men recognized, it is their job to stop looking. Don't look the women up and down. Don't fall for the types who are dressing like prostitutes. But is it right for us women to be thoughtless in these areas? Is there an earnestness about pleasing the Lord? Have we taken His yoke? Are we learning from Him? Are we gentle and humble in heart? Are we walking worthy of the Lord, looking and acting and speaking differently from the Lord?

The Bible says that we're supposed to shine as lights in the world. Christ lives in me. Does that make any visible differences? Will it correct my thinking? Do I pray that God will purify my desires? Prostitutes dress obviously, so as to draw attention. It's their business, isn't it? The last thing that a Christian woman is thinking of is being like a prostitute. But here is some very frank talk from two different men in two different places, and it's not by any means the only letters that I've had from them. It is a very difficult and a very delicate question.

What would the Lord have you do? Look like a frump or look like the vanguard of the fashion magazines? Flashy or sober? Are you pregnant? Are you overweight? Do you try to dress in such a way as to minimize those things? Are you too old for short skirts? I see a lot of women as I travel around who I would certainly say are too old to be wearing those short skirts. And if you're 16 years old, how short a skirt can you wear if you want to be responsible before God in the presence of young men?

Neat or messy? Wildly and deliberately messy? I see some hair-dos, which I think of as wildly and deliberately messy. Feminine? There are many ways of drawing attention to yourself without your once thinking about it. Think. Ask the Lord's guidance. We older women must be willing to take the risk of making someone angry and speaking to her about the way she is dressing. We have to take responsibility. It is our fault that we have not been teaching younger women modesty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news: "On Sunday, April 20, 2008, the Pure Fashion Show, an annual faith-based event, will hit the runways again in style, as it has in Atlanta for the past nine years. This year, guests will enjoy a fabulous show at the Georgia World Congress Center sure to cause a positive stir in the fashion industry. With an emphasis on modesty – mirroring the ‘Modesty Movement’ that says girls can wear cute clothes and still maintain their dignity – Pure Fashion includes more than 60 teen models and stresses that real models are role models who know who they are and know that they can ‘change the culture one outfit at a time!’"

Pure Fashion is an international faith based program designed for girls 14-18 to help young women re-discover and re-affirm their innate value and authentic femininity. Pure Fashion is a character formation program that enhances not only a young woman's external appearance, but more importantly, her interior beauty and balanced self confidence. The organization’s goal is to emphasize a young woman's inherent dignity and therefore create in her a desire to dress and act in accordance with that dignity. Understanding that many young women today are losing their sense of innocence at a very young age, Pure Fashion aims to reverse this trend by offering a fun, exciting and effective virtue formation program that can impress the hearts and minds of young girls at a very critical stage in their lives. www.PureFashion.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And in other places: Harding University's Marriage and Family Therapy program and Counseling Center will sponsor the 14th annual Women in God's Service (WINGS) conference Feb. 22-23 at College Church of Christ in Searcy.

The WINGS conference encourages women of all ages from all over the region to come together and study topics both timely and helpful to Christians. This year's conference, “What's Real? Finding Truth in a Reality Show World,” plays off of various television shows, making creative spiritual applications.

. . .

The last track, “The Ultimate Makeover,” will feature spiritual perspectives on modesty and beauty. Classes titled “What Not to Wear” and “How to Look Good Naked” will feature panel discussions, report on men's thoughts on modesty, and share women's struggles with appearance.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And yet there is trouble in some places: "Students Reject “V-Monologues” on Catholic Campuses"

The V-Monologues play by feminist author Eve Ensler seems to be meeting more opposition on Catholic colleges and universities lately. The production, scheduled to perform on 20 Catholic college campuses in the next few weeks, is sparking renewed protest from groups upset over the play’s vulgar content.

According to Tradition Family Property Student Action, a Catholic group with members on 719 college campuses nationwide, the play is objectionable because of its “lewd and graphic descriptions of sexual encounters, lust, and lesbian behavior.”

“The play tramples purity, modesty and degrades women. It openly flaunts sins against nature, and thus subverts the order established by God,” said TFP Student Action director John Ritchie. “This scandalous play offends every good Catholic and has absolutely no place on Catholic campuses. Students, alumni, and parents should call for the play’s immediate cancellation.”

The group is encouraging Catholics to sign an online petition featured on its web site at www.tfp.org/sa. When visitors sign the petition, simultaneous letters are instantly e-mailed to every Catholic university president where the play is planned.

Together with the Cardinal Newman Society, TFP Student Action has protested “The V-Monologues” in the past. As a result, several Catholic institutions have canceled showings of the play including the College of Saint Scholastica, Assumption College and Carlow University.

“I can’t understand why any Catholic institution of higher learning would stoop so low as to allow this play on campus. It explicitly condones sin, promotes the abortion mentality and fuels sexual anarchy,” continued Mr. Ritchie. “This immoral play is the antithesis of Catholic morality. What the world needs today is purity, modesty and respect. So we invite all concerned Catholics to protest, to call the universities and urge them to end the scandal.”

"A Vision for Biblical Womanhood"

2008-02-09T15:19:00.000-05:00

Do you know Nancy Leigh DeMoss? The "Revive Our Hearts" radio show for women? If you haven't heard or read this lady before, I highly recommend going to the following links and listening or reading her lessons on women and feminine behaviour. (icon and photo here from the ROH website)

check here for transcripts at the Revive our Hearts website, of all the episodes in the series "A Vision for Biblical Womanhood"

click here to find and listen to the series at OnePlace.com

Pray and listen. Learn and grow.

Here's a sample of one of the day's transcript:

Series: A Vision for Biblical Womanhood
Friday, February 1 2008

Leslie: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Friday, February 1.

We’ve been in a series called A Vision for Biblical Womanhood. Nancy’s shown us what it means to be uniquely feminine in the home and in the church. Today we’ll consider: Is there a way to be distinctly feminine all the time, around everyone we meet? Here’s Nancy.

Nancy: I remember a number of years ago watching a world skating championship for the ladies’ free skate program, and my ears perked up when I heard Dick Button commentating on one of the skaters’ performances.

He said, “She’s a very ladylike skater. She makes me feel very relaxed when I watch her.” That comment caught my attention, and I thought, “That is a picture of the beauty of true femininity.”

“She’s a very ladylike skater. She makes me feel very relaxed when I watch her.” That was a man commenting on the beauty of femininity.

The same is true with masculinity. There’s something engaging, something arresting about true masculinity when it’s lived out.

That femininity and masculinity, that complementary way of men and women relating to each other, can touch people in powerful ways.

Not too long ago I was listening to a recording session with another radio program. I was sitting in the control room watching the interview go on, and at one point I had to slip out of the room.

The engineer saw that I was getting ready to leave, and when he saw me stand up, he got up and went ahead of me and opened the door for me, and I thanked him. This man is a gentleman. It was not anything highly unusual for him to do this, so I didn’t think a whole lot about it until a few minutes later.

I went down the hall, and there was another woman who had been in the control room when this happened. She had seen me leave, and she had seen him get up and open the door.

I ran into her down the hall, and she was in tears. She said, “I just want to say what an incredible thing it was when that man got up and opened the door for you a few moments ago.”

The reason this was so touching to her must be that this whole relationship, this complementary relationship between men and women, must be so unusual. You see so little of it that when you do see it, it can impact you in profound and powerful ways.

Over these last few days, we’ve been talking about the complementarian view—which I believe to be the biblical perspective—of manhood and womanhood, and comparing it to another perspective that many hold today within the evangelical church. It has often been called the egalitarian view.

The complementarian view is that men and women are equal in dignity and worth, though men have been given the distinct responsibility to lead their wives, and they’ve been given certain teaching and governing roles in the church that are reserved for men.

As we’ve seen, the egalitarian position is that men and women should be regarded as equals in authority in the home and also in the church—that they should have access to all positions of spiritual leadership within the church.

Again, if you’ve not been able to hear the whole series, it makes me a little nervous to think you would just hear bits and pieces of this. I want to encourage you to get the whole series and to listen to it all so you can get what I’m saying in its entire context.

Also, let me encourage you to go to our website, ReviveOurHearts.com, and there we have a link that will take you to a whole page we’ve set up called “Biblical Womanhood.” It will give you additional resources, tools that will help you understand this better.

If you find yourself saying, “That woman is off the wall; there is no way I agree with her!” Before you write and tell us that—and I don’t mind if you do, but before you do—would you take some time to study this out a little further, to get into the Word yourself and make sure you have read and tried to understand and study what the Scripture teaches on this subject? And then I do hope you’ll write and tell us where you are on that.

Now, we’ve talked about the complementarian vision, what I think is a biblical vision of manhood and womanhood in the home and in the church. But I want to talk today about the implications of the complementarian position, this vision for biblical manhood and womanhood beyond the sphere of the home and the church.

What do biblical manhood and womanhood look like in other relationships, in other contexts?

I think it’s important that we say, first of all, that the Scripture is silent or ambiguous when it comes to many aspects of specific roles for men and women beyond the home and the church. Scripture is more clear about the distinct roles that men and women should have in the home and in the church.

It is not as clear—and, in some cases, is silent—it does not say what roles a woman can or cannot have in the business world, in the world of government, or in other organizations. You don’t read there the same distinctions being made in the Scripture. So we need to be careful not to speak where Scripture doesn’t speak.

However, we are still called to express our God-created distinctiveness as men and as women within all of our relationships, within every context in life. The fact that we are female or the fact that a man is male has implications for all of life.

Now, the essential concept of masculinity and femininity—most people today can hardly spell them or pronounce them; that whole concept has been under attack for generations. In fact, it’s been nearly lost in our culture; and as a result today, we’re seeing some bizarre extremes, things we never would have imagined.

For example, I read an article out of the San Francisco Chronicle. The headlines read:

When is it okay for boys to be girls and girls to be boys?
Many kids want to look and act like the other sex.
For some, it’s a phase; for others, it’s not.
Parents and schools are adjusting.

Those are the headlines. Now, here’s how the article began:

Park Day School is throwing out gender boundaries.

Teachers at the private Oakland Elementary School have stopped asking the children to line up according to sex when walking to and from class. They now let boys play girls and girls play boys in skits, and there’s a unisex bathroom.

[The] admissions director . . . is even a little apologetic that she still balances classes by gender.

We had to ask ourselves, “What is the gender for young children?” [the admissions director] said. “It’s coming up more and more.”

Now, it’s a sorry and sad day when we have to ask ourselves what is gender for young children.

Peggy Noonan is a columnist for the Wall Street Journal, and back shortly after 9/11, she wrote a column called “Welcome Back, Duke” (10/14/01). In that column she expressed gratitude for the many men who had demonstrated manliness in the wake of 9/11. Her point was, manliness is back.

She was very excited about this. In the context of that column, she talked about how manliness and its brother, gentlemanliness, went out of style. She says,

I know, because I was there. In fact, I may have done it. I remember exactly when: It was in the mid-70s, and I was in my mid-20s, and a big, nice, middle-aged man got up from his seat to help me haul a big piece of luggage into the overhead luggage space on a plane. I was a feminist, and I knew our rules and rants. “I can do it myself,” I snapped. It was important that he know women are strong. . . . I embarrassed a nice man who was attempting to help a lady. I wasn’t lady enough to let him. I bet he never offered to help a lady again.

Now let me say again, as we have earlier, that masculinity and femininity are not ultimately defined by a list of rules or a set of behaviors as much as they are defined by a disposition, an inclination of the heart; and that inclination, as we said earlier, is expressed in many different ways in everyday life circumstances and situations.

I think, for example, of someone I met years ago. Madeline Manning Mims was an Olympic gold medalist in the 1968 Olympics. She was a runner.

As we were talking one day about this whole thing of femininity, she said, “My coach always told me, ‘Remember, you’re a lady first and an athlete second.’”

So it’s not that the field of athletics cannot be one that women participate in. It’s an inclination of the heart that makes you feminine, whatever your suit is, whatever field you’re involved in.

I love two definitions that John Piper gives us. I’ve quoted them before on Revive Our Hearts, and I’m sure I will quote them again.

He addresses this whole concept of biblical masculinity and femininity in a powerful little book called What’s the Difference? I think it’s the best thing I’ve read on this subject. It’s very, very effective.

Let me give you the definitions he gives for masculinity and for femininity, where he talks about this inclination, this disposition of the heart. He says,

At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent [kind or gracious] responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.

He goes on and has much more to say about that. He says, for example, if the woman you’re protecting or leading or providing for is your wife, then you do that in different ways than if it’s your secretary or it’s a woman that’s on the worship team with you at church.

There are different ways appropriate within those relationships. But, he says, no matter what the relationships, it’s still an inclination that you have, a responsibility to lead, to provide for, and to protect women.

So he defines masculinity as a pattern of initiative, the initiative to provide for and to protect and to lead. Then he talks about femininity. He says,

At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition [and it is that—I just want to tell you, it is; it’s freeing when you develop this disposition by the power of the Spirit] to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.

So we see here the man as an initiator and the woman as a responder. It’s a bent. It’s a direction of your heart that you’ll find expressing itself in everyday circumstances and situations.

Men are responsible to give this—to initiate this leadership, this protection, and this provision. But what are we to do as women? We’re to affirm it. We’re to encourage it. We’re to receive it.

So, ladies, when we point out how few gentlemen there are in the world today, we’re perhaps making an indictment on ourselves on how few ladies there are today. I just have this great belief that if women would act like ladies, like queens, then men would treat us that way.

Now, I’m not saying every man will. As long as there is sin in this world, there are going to be men who don’t act like godly men; and as long as there is sin in this world, there are going to be women who don’t act like godly women.

But I believe that men will be more empowered to be godly men and to provide the kind of leadership that we long for deep in our hearts when we begin to receive, affirm, and encourage that leadership.

I think that as men provide the leadership, then we as women will be encouraged to respond. It’s a dance, so to speak. It’s give and take, but we can’t do it for the men.

We can only be what God has called us to be as women. But I believe that as we do, men will find themselves empowered, in a healthy sense, to provide the kind of leadership we long to see.

Now, this applies whether we’re married or single. Single, as I am and as many of you are, it applies in the workplace, it applies in casual relationships and close relationships—every relationship everywhere.

So what might this look like, this mature femininity, this inclination, this disposition to affirm, receive, and encourage strength and leadership from worthy men? Let me share with you some things I have found it looks like for me.

First of all, it means being large-hearted in my contact with men; being compassionate, humble. It means assuming the best. It means bringing out the best in one another, between men and women, our exchanges, our conversation. It means demonstrating a mutual respect. It means, for me as a woman, speaking to and about men in ways that show respect for them as men.

This femininity to me means looking for ways to affirm, receive, and encourage strength and leadership in worthy men. It means being responsive and receptive to their initiative and to their leadership.

By the same token, it means not being quick to put it down or dismiss it, or to say, “I don’t need it.” We’ve been so trained. It’s in the water. It’s in the air we breathe.

It’s not in the water; it’s in our sin nature to say, “I can do this myself!” And for multiple generations now, women have been taught, “You cannot need men.” They’re wrong.

Women need men, and men need women. We need to stop being combative and competitive, and receive one another, looking for ways to lift and to build up men as men, looking for ways to empower them, to encourage them as they do take steps.

I’ve heard from enough men now to know that in today’s world, it’s a scary thing for a man to step up to the plate, because for so long, so many men have been cut off at the kneecaps, so to speak, when they do try to step out.

For example (this comes to mind right off the top of my head at this moment), I remember years ago hearing a woman say, “When we were newly married, my husband said, ‘Let’s pray and have devotions together.’ The first time we did that as a new couple, I criticized him for the way he did it. It was years before my husband ever stepped up to the plate again and tried to lead me spiritually.”

What happened? He tried; he got cut off; he got scared, and he (wrongly) said, “I’m not stepping up to bat again.” But that woman was partially—hugely—responsible for making that man scared to step up to leadership, not only in their marriage but probably in other relationships as well.

This biblical vision of womanhood means we will not be competitive with men. We’ll not be striving in our spirit. It means no male-bashing. If you’ve been around Revive Our Hearts for any length of time, you know that we do not allow, in this ministry or on this program, jokes that make men look dumb or ignorant or unmanly.

I’m not saying no man ever acts in those ways, but it’s not our responsibility to point out the foibles and weaknesses and flaws of men. We’re just not going there.

A lot of humor today is gender humor at the expense of men. Now, men are liable to have a lawsuit if they make those kinds of jokes about women. That’s not politically correct.

But it is politically correct today for women to tell all kinds of jokes and lines demeaning and belittling of men. The biblical vision of womanhood says, “No. We’re not going there. No disparaging jokes, no sarcasm.”

At times for me, being feminine in a world where I’m relating to men may mean deferring. Sometimes it may mean even limiting my own liberty or taking a back seat in a setting. It may mean zipping my lips in some settings, for the sake of a cause and a purpose that is bigger than myself.

What is that sake? Encouraging men to be men. That doesn’t mean I walk into the room and point it out. I don’t say, “If you men would just be men . . .” Sometimes it means I’m just willing to be quiet, to defer, to take a back seat, not to be the first person to speak out in a setting.

You say, “Why should you have to do that?” Because of love, because of humility, because of a desire to see men be all that God created them to be, and know that as they do and as they are, I will be free to be all that God made me to be. [emphasis mine - LM]

Now, this whole talk to some people may sound demeaning to women. It may sound restrictive. It may sound crazy, and to some women, I’m sure it does sound crazy. I’m sure we’ll be getting some of those emails.

But I want to tell you it is actually extremely freeing. It means I don’t have to live with a chip on my shoulder. I don’t have to assert or prove myself as a woman. I don’t have to feel threatened by chauvinistic tendencies that do exist in some men.

I don’t have to resent men when they manifest traits of fallenness. It frees me up to help, to love, to encourage, to serve, to give, and to lift up my brothers in the body of Christ.

So I find myself asking, “How can I lift up and encourage and strengthen the men around me by being more feminine?”

To live out this biblical vision requires that we be willing to go against our own fallen, fleshly tendencies. This does not come naturally. It goes against the grain of the flesh.

But I’ve discovered that the willingness to embrace my femininity tests and reveals what’s in my heart. It tests my own submission to God. It tests my heart toward others.

If I balk, if I have a kick in my spirit or a chip on my shoulder, it says something about what’s in my heart. Let me tell you, the real issue is not how I view men—it’s how I view God.

Am I willing to come into submission to God’s authority in my life? If so, then I will be willing, by the power of His Spirit and by His grace, to live out the gospel; which means for me as a woman having that inclination, that disposition to affirm, to receive, and to nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways that are appropriate for my differing relationships with them.

When we do that, we glorify God. We shed the spotlight on Him.

When men and women both do that within the body of Christ, God is glorified. People see God in a way they never could have seen Him otherwise. They see the great plan of redemption, and they are brought to believe and to be saved themselves.

Leslie: When women embrace womanhood, and in the process encourage masculinity in men, God is glorified. Nancy Leigh DeMoss has been explaining this in a series called A Vision for Biblical Womanhood.

This is an important topic, and I hope Nancy’s words here will encourage you to study further. Earlier, Nancy quoted from John Piper, the book she called “the best thing I’ve read on the subject.”

We have that slim volume by John Piper. It’s called What’s the Difference? It will help you better understand biblical passages that speak to roles, and it will guide you through tricky, contemporary subjects of grace.

. . .

Get more information at our website. I hope you can be back with us again Monday for Revive Our Hearts. Now Nancy’s back with a final thought.

Nancy: I’m sure some of you who have heard these words today have found yourself perhaps chafing inwardly, maybe that kick in the spirit, feeling perhaps resentful or resistant toward this whole concept. I want to tell you honestly that I’ve been there myself at times. I sometimes still find myself there.

But God has used those struggles and battles in my own heart to show me flesh that needs to be taken to the cross, and to show me areas of my life that need to come under the headship of Jesus Christ. I want to encourage you to seek the Lord on this and say, “Lord, how can my life as a woman reflect the beauty of who You are in the relationships I have with the men around me?”

Ask God to show you ways you can reflect His beauty through cultivating a feminine spirit. I want to tell you, it will be greatly freeing. You will find such liberty, such grace as you fulfill the purpose for which God created you.

Thank You, Lord, for Your grace. Thank You for challenging our hearts with this truth from Your Word. I pray that You will find us surrendered and saying, “Yes, Lord, I want to be the woman You made me to be.”

Help us, Lord, to bless the men around us, to lift them up, to strengthen them, to encourage them; and to know that as we do, You will strengthen and encourage us. I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

Think about what you want to be

2008-02-07T09:34:00.000-05:00

"It's so easy to be wicked without knowing it, isn't it?" - Anne
- L. M. Montgomery, "Anne of Green Gables," 1908

(Photo from the successful CBC -television adaptation of Anne of Green Gables)

What do you think?

“Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins.”
Psalm 19:12-13

An Evening Prayer

If I have wounded any soul today,
If I have caused one foot to go astray,
If I have walked in my own willful way,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,
If I have turned aside from want or pain,
Lest I myself shall suffer through the strain,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse or hard, or cold,
If I have longed for shelter in Thy fold,
When Thou hast given me some fort to hold,
Dear Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee;
Forgive the secret sins I do not see;
O guide me, love me and my keeper be,
Dear Lord, Amen.

- C. Maude Battersby, arranged by Charles H. Gabriel, circa 1911

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Video of that great "old fashioned lady," Mahalia Jackson, singing a short version of "An Evening Prayer"

~~~~~~~

It has been said, "People do not plan to fail; they simply fail to plan." Ladies, you do not fail to be a lady because you cannot become one, but because you do not have in place a good plan to being a lady. Think about what you want to be. Surround yourself with ladies and gentlemen, so that you can observe their example. Read about them and from them. Realize and notice when you mis-step, but do not give up and remain there in the mud. Be as good as young, fictional Anne of Green Gables, and "never do the same wrong thing twice." Correct your course, and step out again on the path that you plan to travel. Walk with grace and mercy, always vigilant, always a Lady. - LM

International Modesty

2008-02-01T20:51:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned before, and I will say again: modesty, femininity, and all things that proclaim that ladies do exist and are far different from men IS A WORLD WIDE NEED. Let us not forget that this is something that goes back to how we were made male and female, and all cultures and religions know that this is true. Here, from Nigeria:

EMELDA AHUNNA OSUJI’S CAMPAIGN ON MODESTY
Celebrity - Thu, 24 Jan 2008

Her articulate disposition, sense of immorality and other area of godliness was one of the things discovered about his woman of essence to have been awarded the virtue woman of modesty award by a renowned monarch in Egbeda area of Lagos. Emelda Ahunna Osuji, who has taken it upon herself to correct all forms of immorality amongst the female gender of the society, mostly, those who go to nightclubs to sell their bodies, has started her campaign and she’s said to be spreading it across all the nightclubs in the nation about the essence of modest dress sense.

The Igbo big woman who is happily married to the easy going Mr. Osuji has perfected all plans to officially launch her pet project (slated to hold at Sheraton Hotels and Towers, Ikeja with crème-de-la-crème of the society in attendance) called Women and Modesty Worldwide. A fully registered Non governmental non-profit making organization that will solely address and tackle all forms of immorality and provocative dress sense that has become a norm in the society.

“I am floating this NGO because of my belief about modesty. Nigerian women are blessed in everything, beauty, brains and what have you, but a whole lots of us are ignorant of the fact that we don’t have to dress immorally to woo a man, if you still maintain high sense of immorality, those who will call you will call you, not until you are have naked before a man rushes to you. Though, some ladies, even at nightclubs may just dress provocatively to come and unwind but the men folk who are around will be reading a different meaning to it. So that zeal for modesty and passion for counseling the youths brought about the emergence of Women and Modesty Worldwide.” She concluded.

Source/Credits: ALONGE MICHAEL
The Modern Ghana Homepage is Ghana’s leading general news and information destination online. Modernghana.com integrates credible Ghanaian content and perspectives.

Another editorial I came across from Nigeria was in the Tide Online:

How appropriate is your dressing?
Saturday, Jan 26, 2008

Fashion is a universal language. Even if it wasn’t, globalisation of the world system that has made it so.

Apart from the fact that all persons across the world dress in one form of attire or the other, the present system of dressing among ladies seem to be taking a universal tone.

This is what civilisation and information technology can do.

But whether universal or not, what every individual should ask himself or herself before leaving the house each morning is, “I’m I appropriately dressed”?

It has been said time without number that the way we dress speak volumes about us. You certainly get hit on when you’re wearing a dress – as one secretary puts it – “down to your ankles and up to your neck” Ones dressing makes or mars one’s day.

We know that modesty sometimes, doesn’t guarantee that a guy will act properly. But ladies, we should stop telling ourselves that how we dress makes no difference and that it’s no one else’s business. That to some well meaning individuals may be complete nonsense. One enraged man has this to say “sometimes what I see ladies wear shouldn’t be called “dress” – it should be called “undress” it looks like some of my wife’s night gowns!”

He continued “And let me be diplomatic but honest. As a married man I know what I was thinking when I bought my wife’s nightgowns. What I want to know is: What you are also thinking ( as you put on such dress.)

Modest Fashion is For Everyone

2008-01-27T19:58:00.000-05:00

Ascot decrees what not to wear at races

"Shoulder straps no thinner than an inch, no bare midriffs or mismatching trouser-suits and a decree from on-high that all women should cover their heads by wearing a "substantial fascinator [an ornate lace or feathered head covering]". Or a hat."

No - this is not the latest religious college banquet regulations. This is the worldly and world renowned "Royal Ascot" races held in the UK, in an "attempt by the authorities at Royal Ascot to bring back what many say is some much-needed class into one of the racing world's most iconic and fashionable dates."

"Much-needed class"? Girls have balked since before I was in junior camp about that "shoulder straps no thinner than an inch" rule. Little did they realize that even the worldly world sees that as part of being "un-classy". Read the whole article at the above link; here are a few clips:

"Each June the champagne tents, newspaper columns and letters pages fill with renewed mutterings about the increase of bare midriffs and overly visible cleavages on display." - A lady shouldn't be guilty of something that the fashion conscious material world mutters against, should she?

"The ultimate Ascot faux pas, the miniskirt, is now officially non grata and "considered unsuitable"." Hmmm - get that? The "ultimate ... faux pas, the miniskirt".

""What we're trying to do is make it much clearer to badge-holders what constitutes respectable daywear," said an Ascot spokesman, Nick Smith." - The word is "respectable". Our young ladies (and some who are older) balk at these kinds of guidelines, setting them up as some kind of "Talibanish regime", randomly enforced by parents and schools. If "respectable" people in the world understand what standards of dress are - and even go so far as to call them "classy" - then what in the world are our Sisters complaining about?

And finally, from a sports commentator: "My advice is that if you feel like you're dressed like an exhibitionist you probably are and maybe you should modify your attire."

And, /rant

Light in a Grey World

2008-01-21T15:33:00.000-05:00

Click here for link to an article about a new film: "Robin Garbose's musical, "A Light for Greytowers," adheres to Jewish law and upholds a life of modesty and self-discipline for women." (photo from JewishJournal.com) I am always encouraged by women who, though their faith in God may be different from what I believe to be True, stand firmer in their convictions than I ever have, even to the point of what many might think of as severe sacrifices.

My husband talks about his work in India, describing the very visible actions of Hindu and Muslim believers, as they go about very early morning and frequent daily prayers, and other numerous religious traditions. And I have trouble just getting out of bed in the morning.

I read articles (like this one in the Washington Post) about women who dress modestly, some who also cover their heads and/or hair in modesty and submission - and how they are looked down on, punished, laughed at, misjudged and scorned by people who can't understand why they dress modestly in the first place. Women - some of them young women - who other women of the West call silly, frumpy, foolish or simply old fashioned. Yet they take the punishment, the slander, and STILL dress according to their belief of what God expects of them. And I struggle to find what to wear on Sunday that "looks good". (photo from the USA Today article)

I know women who hold one Truth to be the only Truth who will not even look at a believer in anything else except to see heathen, infidels and idolaters. Well, I think they're all people, created in God's image, and I can't help but see them. Maybe they do believe in something false: their idea of God, or their interpretation of doctrine or teaching. But because there is a Truth which is True, their lives do reflect that True Faith, that True Love, that One Truth. I pray that we all keep our eyes open, and even if a sister or brother is in error in some way, we are able to see where they have some part of the Truth that we are missing. With me, that is most often the ability to stand firm in faith in the face of opposition, slander, violence and even - shudder - mocking derision.

You, Kind Reader and Weblog Poster, are a light in a grey world: a world where people see in black and white, and yet since the lines are different for everyone, it seems, everything goes grey and cloudy all around us. May you be able to see the black and white lines - may you keep searching for Truth. May you keep shining whatever little bit of Light that you think you have; you do not know who the Light reflecting in your own little candle may be warming.

Antagonists

2008-01-16T20:02:00.000-05:00

I found this simple definition from a children's review game on English and grammar:

"Antagonists are necessary. They give the protagonist an obstacle to overcome."

This essay is attributed to Paul Harvey, as it has circled the Internet for some time now. But, Paul Harvey did not write it. The true author, Lee Pitts, published the nostalgic essay in 2000 in the book "Chicken Soup for the Golden Soul." Paul Harvey does use material written by Lee Pitts from time to time, and he did read this particular essay (crediting Pitts, of course) during his September 6, 1997 broadcast.

These Things I Wish For You
-- By Lee Pitts

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.

For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days, when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

See more from Lee Pitts at WVMCattle.com

"For our light affliction,
which is but for a moment,
is working for us a far more exceeding
and eternal weight of glory,"

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him"

Don't we get it yet?

"So He humbled you,
allowed you to hunger,
and fed you with manna which you did not know,
nor did your fathers know,

that He might make you know

that man shall not live by bread alone;
but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord"

God really is good. Funny how humbleness is really a golden thing to strive for; the more I know it, the more I am glad of it. I wish I knew it more. They say that it's only when you're hands are empty that they can be filled. And God does promise good things. Things that I can't even begin to imagine.

You remember that letter that goes around in the emails sometimes, about what a Grandfather wishes for his Grandkids. I posted it above. He wishes them hard work, broken hearts and all these things that make you think at first he's got to be joking. But he just wants them to be strong, patient, wise. I'm starting to get it. Fifteen years of marriage, four children and almost 40 years of living, and I'm starting to get it.

I never did say or think that old fashioned ladies had it easy. But it is a good thing to be. Strong, patient, wise, old-fashioned. All this and a lady too.

Trying to pass on what I can as I go.

The Prayer, a video

2008-01-11T14:04:00.001-05:00

I pray you’ll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don’t know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe
La luce che to dai

I pray we’ll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
L’eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c’e
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
E’il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera

You Are Not Alone

2008-01-09T17:08:00.000-05:00

I have been very encouraged since I got more involved in reading and researching online. I have found that I am, after all, not the last modest, old-fashioned lady-wannabe in the world. There are thousands of us - and these are just the ladies on line! I have found ladies of all sorts who want to dress more modestly, but feel that they are alone in their region, city, church, temple, mosque, click, school, workplace... . I have found ladies of all sorts in all these places who desire - intelligently - to cover their heads, to be at home and rear up their own children, to submit joyfully to a spiritually minded man. It makes me more and more sure that there really is a one-substantial Truth to the old fashioned values of home, family, femininity, motherhood, purity and spirituality. Some of us don't get it all the way. Some of us were reared up in a culture or home or tradition that excluded our ability to find the whole Truth, but we stayed faithful to that Truth that we were seeking. Some of the ladies I've found online and in books had to really leave their father and mother, their homeland, the religious background which they grew up adhering to. But did not leave their searching - and finding - of Truth.

Now this is a very deep and thoughtful entry to a post which will include some video clips of a television situation comedy. A Canadian comedy, too, if that makes any difference to you. I was really interested in seeing how the show was handled since I heard that it came out last year, and now that the first season is available on DVD, we've checked it out at the library. I am seeing so many similarities to situations that could be anywhere, anytime - just substitute certain words, phrases and styles of dress, and you really do have just another family sit-com. I'm actually proud of the Islamic lady who decided to do this: in one episode the young lady doctor (who is orthodox and liberal at the same time) is confronted with - not a push into premarital sex, but merely - a date! She dresses modestly. She has problems with her open-minded Mother. (seen in the first clip here) All have to deal with preconceived notions, both their own and from others. Using humor to get to know one another better is not a new idea. I really do like the idea of this TV show (if I had to choose between this and Seinfeld or the Simpsons, or Malcolm in the Middle, this one would win for me, though we actually don't watch TV - remember, this is us checking the DVD from the library).

I suppose in a way, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I like the show. So I'm not recommending it - it would be like recommending that you watch TV, and I can't really do that. But if you must watch something, check out these little clips of CBC's "Little Mosque on the Prairie", and know that it's the same all over.

Mothers and Daughters on Headcovering and Dating - don't let this happen to you!

Father and Daughters on Modesty - really don't let this happen to you!

Skirts, Long Hair, and Other Feminine Things

2008-01-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

I recently received a letter, after I had posted the entries about my wearing skirts, and the things I like about them. I wanted to share the thoughts here, anonymously, to let you know that I am still thinking about these things, old fashioned though they may seem, and it still looks to me like I am not the only lady who considers these things. I would like to hear any other thoughts on these things, if you would like to share.

My name is ____ and I am a 43 year old mother of 3 boys ages 20, 17, and 11. I have been married to my husband for 22 years. And believe it or not just in the last year or so I have been feeling convicted about modesty and being a lady not that I was doing that bad before but I am confused I sometimes want to wear a pair of jeans but I am constantly aware not to dress in a way that could lead someone else astray. My oldest son goes to a church that really emphasizes dress as being very important. The rest of us go to a church where dress is not really an issue. I believe God will accept you any way you are but I still feel that I should be dressing in long skirts which I love and I have short hair and I am trying to let it grow out. I know that this won’t make me a better Christian but I feel that maybe it is what we as women are meant to do. What are your thoughts?

My answer:

I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you. I am an almost 40 year old mother of 4 - 2 boys and 2 girls, all under 12, and I've not had as many years with my husband as you have either; we celebrate 15 this January. But I've also only been really convicted of modest dress and "being a lady" for the past few years, and things that I change in one way seem to affect other areas of my life. I think highly of any lady who has begun thinking about how her style of dress affects the men in her life, because I know it's not something that we as women understand about men's minds and eyes, and we really do have to move "out of our comfort zone" to think about and change our way of dressing.

I personally don't find anything wrong with a woman wearing pants, but as I said, over the years, modest dress, humility, the role of wife and mother and daughter of a King have all come together to make me not want to wear them as much. First, because so many women's styles of jeans are made to show off the shape underneath, and secondly because if it's not showing off my female figure, then it's either making me look like a man, or I can find things more comfortable that show that I'm a female (without showing off). I first switched to pants over jeans, because it looked nicer (more dressy, or feminine), and I still do wear them sometimes. **I have also written before about the Indian outfits, the salwar kameez, which are actually very feminine dressy pant suits, and I also wear these sometimes.**

I am not sure what to say about a church family that determines (or ignores) dress - but I will pass along to you what my daughter said: "we're going to be going before the King; of course we want to dress right". I suppose it is up to each person to determine what "right" is when dressing before the King of kings, but I think that it's more important than not at all, and yet not a matter of law, since this King has not mandated particular styles, other than to point out that we shouldn't be showing off or forgetting to show proper humility before him and one another.

I think God accepts what you have to offer, too, but remember that He sees the heart. I think it's important that each person be convinced in their own mind, as the writer Paul said concerning things that are not laws. If your heart and mind say to dress more femininely, grow your hair longer, be sure that you are not doing it *only* because you feel that it is your duty, but because it is your desire. For me, the more my desire grew, the more my understanding grew, and I begin to feel like what you wrote, that "maybe as women it is what we are meant to do." One of my thoughts about long hair, aside from the writer Paul calling woman's hair her "glory", is remembering that most little girls I have ever known, and most idealized pictures we have of women and princesses, shows long, flowing hair. It's not anything scientific, just an observation, that I think most of us find it more "beautiful" or "lovely". Flowing material, as in skirts, and esp. long skirts, is part of that too, I think. But, as you asked for my thoughts, that's all I can offer.

God did make men and women different. And we live in a culture where it's "politically incorrect" to make an observation like that. But I think it's pretty neat to consider on it, and even emphasize the difference. I think it makes our men be more like what they're meant to be (the "knight in shining armor," guarding, protecting, leading...), when we are less like them, and more like we're meant to be. Not that we are not strong! But in a very different way.

I hope that makes some sense. I'll post this to my blog too and see if there is any response. My blog isn't extremely popular, I know, but I try to at least show that if there's anyone else out there like me, we're not alone in our journey back to being what we were meant to be - Ladies. :)

Thank you for writing. It`s helped me to think it through some more, and I hope helped you too.

Go with God

Illustration above: Windswept, 1902, by John William Waterhouse

See also:

Read one man`s opinion of God-fearing women in pants here.

Read a blog entry and long discussion of Hair and Worship, at Faith and Gender.

Read an account of one lady`s decision to wear long skirts and long hair here.

Teaching Old Fashioned Values

2007-12-31T11:24:00.000-05:00

School Administrators Under Fire for Protecting Female Modesty

Read here part of the article, written by Ralph W. Conner, in: School Reform News; Publication Date: January 1, 2008; The Heartland Institute. Then click on the title above to read the entire article. My, how "the dance" has changed since the days of the "old fashioned ladies".

School administrators nationwide are in a quandary about how to deal with the new freak dancing--or “juking”--craze going on at high school dances and proms.

The Wall Street Journal devoted an article in mid-November to the way the issue is tearing apart the Dallas suburb of Argyle, Texas. And last September, Evanston Township High School in Illinois issued fliers before its homecoming dance admonishing students that “salacious and inappropriate dancing” was outlawed. At Naperville North High, also in the Chicago suburbs, the dance tickets outlawed “sexually explicit and front to back dancing.”

. . .
Part of the problem here is the decline of academic standards. Student achievement and parental involvement are less important to some government school systems than socialization, and that means accepting highly dubious behavior in order to give students a chance to define a set of social mores in which they can feel comfortable.

As a result, rappers such as 50 Cent hold more sway with students than the civil rights icons of the 1960s, who extolled academic excellence as a way to elevate all Americans in a free-market economy.

This tag-team effort causes many parents to stand on the sidelines as another generation of girls is led to believe their self-esteem can be augmented by accepting their own degradation as normal. Those who disagree have to pull their children out of the public schools--while still paying taxes to support the institutions that are contributing to social decay.

Ultimately, of course, it’s up to parents to teach their children the lasting values of self-esteem and self-respect, while accentuating academic excellence as the path to the wonderful opportunities available to everyone not named Beyoncé or Britney.

But the schools certainly shouldn’t work against the process, especially while taking people’s tax money.

Underline this - parents are responsible for the children they have been given. Not everyone understands this, and many children are growing up with no better guidance than peer socialization and weak academic leaders who are not allowed to teach good moral behavior. If we live in a country where we are proud of our rights and freedoms, then we must realize that we live in a country where those civil liberties trump all other rights - such as the rights of all people to grow up safe, contented, and at peace. It is our responsibility, as parents and as concerned people, to train up our children, to correct one another when we harm someone else, to live as we understand to be the wisest, without fear that our government - or our government run school systems - will stop us from doing so. Make it a point, this day and all days ahead, to give the gift of responsibility to children - that is a gift that keeps on blessing in years to come. Putting a leash on a puppy is not as cruel as letting it run free and into a busy highway. How much more valuable is the life of a young human being?

Of course, the whole issue of public dancing has changed drastically from the days of folk and barn dances, and the lovely and complicated rules of Jane Austen era dances. Truly, the "dirty dancing" that our parents and grandparents were concerned about in the 50's and 60's has nothing on what dances are all about today. Some concerned administrators can see the difference. Some parents surely can see the difference in going to the prom in the high class preppy 80's (which still had its problems to be sure) and the "dances" of today. The dance has certainly changed in our culture - don't be fooled.

Men and Women - Love and Respect

2007-12-29T10:56:00.000-05:00

For those of you who appreciate the old fashioned Biblical approach to marriage and family books by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, you can hear them online at a few different discussions at OnePlace.com. Based on Ephesians 5:33 -

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

HomeWord with Jim Burns : A Woman's Guide to the Mind of a Man (Part 1) - "In a landmark survey, author Shaunti Feldhahn asked several thousand men what they really want WOMEN to know about them. Parenting and family expert Dr. Jim Burns talks with Shaunti Feldhahn about the results of her research."

HomeWord with Jim Burns : A Man's Guide to the Heart of a Woman (Part 1) - "When it comes to understand what women want, most men are pretty clueless. Parenting and family expert Dr. Jim Burns talks with Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn - a husband and wife research team who have discovered tips for sharing with men "A Man's Guide to the Heart of a Woman."" (2 parts total)

Focus on the Family - Dr. James Dobson : What Men Need to Know About Women 1 - "Many husbands are clueless when it comes to understanding how their wives think and feel, even after years of marriage. If you're one of those husbands - or if you're a wife who wants to be better understood by her husband - today's program is especially for you. Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn offer insightful marital advice from their book For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women.
"Men love their wives ... but they really don't know how to communicate it in a way that is effective with their wives because they just don't think that they can understand them." - Jeff Feldhahn" (there are 3 parts total in this series of talks)

NOTE - these are NOT sermon tapes, but interviews with authors. Also, the radio show websites are trying to raise money for these programs, and you will hear that reflected in the opening and closing remarks. That aside, the thoughts shared in the discussions between the authors and the program hosts may give you something to think about, and Biblical standards seem to be upheld. Let me know if there's anything that goes against God's will for marriage and family, and I will post that here.

You can listen to these radio slots on your Real Player or Windows Media, or download the mp3 for free through the oneplace website.

Holy days are not over, folks... :)

2007-12-27T14:26:00.000-05:00

Don't forget Good King Wenceslas! Yes, it's really a Boxing Day song, so I'm a little late, but hey, let's keep the season alive!

"The words to the carol "Good King Wenceslas" were written by John Mason Neale, and published in 1853. The music originates in Finland 300 years earlier. This Christmas carol is unusual as there is no reference in the lyrics to the nativity.

Good King Wenceslas was the king of Bohemia in the 10th century. King Wenceslas was a Catholic and was martyred following his assassination by his brother Boleslaw and his supporters. His Saint's Day is September 28th, and he is the Patron Saint of the Czech Republic.

St. Stephen's feast day was celebrated on 26th December, now called "Boxing Day", which is why this song is sung as a Christmas carol." (courtesy carols.org.uk)

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When a poor man came in sight
Gath'ring winter fuel

"Hither, page, and stand by me
If thou know'st it, telling
Yonder peasant, who is he?
Where and what his dwelling?"
"Sire, he lives a good league hence
Underneath the mountain
Right against the forest fence
By Saint Agnes' fountain."

"Bring me flesh and bring me wine
Bring me pine logs hither
Thou and I will see him dine
When we bear him thither."
Page and monarch forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the rude wind's wild lament
And the bitter weather

"Sire, the night is darker now
And the wind blows stronger
Fails my heart, I know not how,
I can go no longer."
"Mark my footsteps, my good page
Tread thou in them boldly
Thou shalt find the winter's rage
Freeze thy blood less coldly."

In his master's steps he trod
Where the snow lay dinted
Heat was in the very sod
Which the Saint had printed
Therefore, Christian men, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing.

How are you sharing with those less fortunate today, this season, and all year long? Are you involving your children and showing them the way?

Proverbs 14:31: He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

~~~~~~~

Now a certain ruler asked Him, saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”
So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’”
And he said, “All these things I have kept from my youth.”
So when Jesus heard these things, He said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

Seasonal Websites

2007-12-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

"You'll find down to earth crafts, recipes, gardening advice and family activities plus tips on keeping your family history and teaching your kids and grandkids about the generations that came before them." - Old Fashioned Living at seedsofknowledge.com

Find the meanings behind many of the traditions at - All Things Christmas

Everything Christmas - traditions, Santa tracking, and lots of Music! - SantaSearch.org

Old Fashioned Christmas Candy recipes, - from CWBN

Everyone needs all kinds of Christmas cookies recipes - Christmas-cookies.com

Find several recipes for - Old Fashion Christmas Pudding

"Back in the 1800s, homemade and handcrafted ornaments adorned most Christmas trees. For the simplicity and beauty of an old-fashioned celebration, add antique ornaments, reproduction antiques or homemade decorations to your tree." -
How to Decorate an Old-Fashioned Christmas Tree

Everything you ever wanted to know about good old fashioned live Christmas trees - National Christmas Tree Association, Inc.

Old fashioned archives of information, pictures, legends and customs - The Christmas Archives

"Having an old-fashioned Christmas does not mean that you have to sacrifice your worldly goods. It simply means that you want to have a more simple, enjoyable Christmas, without many of the stresses. Isn't that what you desire?" An article with suggestions - The Magic of an Old-Fashioned Christmas

"Sights and Sounds of an Old-Fashioned New England Christmas" - Christmas at Old Sturbridge Village: A Virtual Photo Tour

Fathers Killing Daughters

2007-12-18T15:46:00.000-05:00

First of all, YES, the man was absolutely wrong to kill his daughter. No reason exists for a father who is placed in the position of caring for and protecting his family to strangle his daughter. One cannot blame a murder on religion anymore than one can blame a murder or beating on the loss of a job, or alcohol, or "that's the way people do it around here."

People in Canada, and around the world, are sputtering, fuming, sobbing and fretting over the recent murder of a 16 year old girl, allegedly by her father, in Ontario. If you haven't heard of it, it won't take much trouble to find the news in a search engine. You will also find the very strong opinions of the writers against Islam, because it is a religion which fosters this kind of behavior, against multiculturalism, because it means that people turn a blind eye to this kind of behavior, and against religion in general, because it makes people behave badly and blame it on some higher reason or mandate. People are angry with the tradition of parents protecting their children - in general - because no child should be required to follow the traditions of their parents. People are angry with the tradition of dressing modestly - because this girl only wanted to fit in and show her beauty. Grief makes people angry. It also clouds thinking.

If true, then this man was wrong, in any religion, regardless of certain parts of the world that condone what he may have done.

Because some men in some parts of the world treat their women as cattle (and probably don't treat their cattle so well either), doesn't mean that everyone who follows the same or similar religious or traditional beliefs will do the same.

Because some people see their neighbor being beaten and say, "what a shame", and turn aside does not mean that everyone in a crowded and multicultural community is turning aside from trying to do something about domestic abuse, or crimes against children, or other hatefulness.

Because some people do not think for themselves or with a pure conscience, and blindly follow their state, or religious documents, or parents even, into performing moral outrages condemned in nearly every culture of the world does not mean that every follower of a doctrine or truth has turned off their brain and their heart to what God has designed from the beginning, and which has been made manifest all over the world as the virtues of true love, joy, and peace.

Because there are fathers and brothers (and bosses) who abuse their God-given natural tendencies to rule and protect, abusing wives, children, family, animals, and the earth itself, does not mean that there are not men all over the world who truly care for those over whom they have authority, treating them with special tenderness, nurturing them as they care for their own bodies. Because there are women and children (and employees and servants) who cower ignorantly, never learning and never standing up for their own dignity as a human being, does not mean that all people who willingly submit themselves to their husbands, fathers, rulers, bosses, or other persons in authority are too ignorant to know any better, and that they must be taught that the only way to live is to rebel against the authorities. Because the roles of man and woman, of authority and subordinant, are abused, does not mean that the beautiful almost fantastic plan for headship and suitable helpers cannot exist.

Because a woman chooses to dress modestly does not mean that she is ashamed of her body, but that she understands the beauty and glory, and does not want to immodestly and vainly show it off. Because a parent chooses to dress their child modestly, and teaches them the value of protecting their beauty, their body, their lives, does not mean that they are ashamed of their children or want to put them in a cage. A parent does have the right to teach their child family traditions, however "strict" they may seem - as long as those traditions do not lead to the child being killed, either physically, mentally or spiritually.

Yes, parents do kill their children in all these ways. Modest dress is not to blame. Religious or cultural traditions are not to blame. Disrespect for parents is not even to blame. Misunderstanding of parents, of fathers and mothers, of adult human beings, of what true love is all about is to blame. One cannot say that they love their child so much that they would kill them, whether over a job loss, a divorce, a new marriage, or their own desire to die. One cannot treat their child or wife (or their animal or anything they possess, but not to this same extent) as something which has no value other than what is material, makes their life easier or more important or more holy in their own eyes - without killing their personhood.

I do not fully understand any of the world's religions, because they do have so much of the culture and the men who created and keep them in them. I cannot even truly understand all about true and pure Christianity - that which does not follow laws made by men that are added to the original scriptures, for business or cultural or other reasons. Because I cannot fully grasp the love of God for a world full of people where parents can kill children, husbands can abuse wives, and those in authority to serve and protect send ignorant men and women out to kill an enemy of some sort or be killed themselves.

But I do understand that at least one man is alive today who was never taught how to love in the sense of sacrificing himself for his family, of teaching his family what it means to truly protect the purity and beauty of women. His sons are alive, and they too need to be taught. If not by word, at least by the overpowering expression of love in the lives of families who do understand how family is supposed to be. The judges in this world - the media, the juries, the bloggers - all need to be taught to really see that here is a family in crisis because things are not going according to the plan for families that was set out from the beginning. Not because of religion or culture or multiculture, not because of modesty or immodesty or modernism - but because there really is A Truth that needs to be taught and lived.

Each of you who have actually read this all the way through - live in such a way that no one will have reason to slander you or your God. Live the way you were created to live - whether you are male or female, bond or free, Jew or Gentile. Let the world know that there is truth, and there is love. And it is real.

Another Book for Prudes

2007-12-13T16:50:00.000-05:00

Girls taught to value sex over achievement and intelligence

Yes, that's the title and the findings presented and discussed in a recent article for Scotsman.com. The article, by Malcolm Law, concerns a new book by Carol Platt Liebau, "a leading political commentator in the US and the first female managing editor of Harvard Law Review". In her book, she points out what most of us already know: that today's young women are being taught to believe "sexy" equates to empowered. That being "sexy" is just another choice for liberated women.

"The author said "promiscuity and sexual aggression" were now being seen as the only way to achieve admiration. And she suggested girls now competed for attention based on how much they were sexually willing to do for boys."

That's what concerns most of us "old fashioned ladies": that the new age of women, is actually just the old age of male dominance in a new outfit. And the new outfit is pretty flimsy.

She said: "The overwhelming lesson teenagers are now learning from the world around them is that being 'sexy' is the ultimate accolade, trumping intelligence, character and all other accomplishments. In a culture that celebrates Paris Hilton [and] thong underwear, there's scant modesty or achievement that isn't coupled with sex appeal. Girls are being led to believe that they're in control when it comes to sexual relationships.

"But they're actually living in a profoundly anti-feminist landscape where girls compete for attention on the basis of how much they are sexually willing to do for the boys. And living in an overly sexualised culture takes a toll on girls."

• Prude: How The Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls is available in the US on Amazon, among other places, and soon to be available in other countries as well. In the reviews that I have found, it seems that this is not a predominantly "Christian" book, and the damages presented are from the practical standpoint, such as economic and emotional, rather than merely the spiritual point of view that most of us "religious" folks are used to. The world finds it difficult to listen to us when we shout out that young people's souls are in danger. But maybe if they see that the results of that disaster also affect their country, they'll listen. God doesn't make rules and laws to be cruel; but because God knows how best we work, and if we follow the instructions, things always work better than we could make it on our own.

By the way, I always despised being called a "prude", as if it were an ignorant or evil thing to be "prudent" in behaviour.

This book is also reviewed in the UK Observer

... in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation ...

On Wearing Skirts

2007-12-06T17:35:00.001-05:00

I know that not everyone who dresses modestly believes that means they should be wearing skirts. And I won't say that it's a necessary part of dressing modestly or a "rule" of some kind - I simply cannot do that. But I found that, for me, the more modestly I was trying to dress and behave, the more interested I was in "lady like behavior" in general, and I developed a stronger liking for skirts. Now, I'm not into frills and laces and all that "mush" (I know some of you might be; please don't take that as an insult! - grin), but I do like skirts.

(photo: Long Floral tiered Prairie Skirt from modestapparelusa.com)

Here's a few links that I found about women in skirts, where they wear them all the time, and provided photos at their sites. They believe in wearing skirts modestly too, so we're not looking at above the knee or tight skirts that many of us wouldn't wear either. These are just offering their thoughts to those truly considering on these things.

1. Through the week in feminine dress from the Ladies Against Feminism website

2. Another lady's week, on the same site

3. From Mrs. Catherine of "Making It Home" - her own week of work in dresses and skirts

There may be other sites out there, but I just thought it might be nice to share these so you can see what some of us are talking about when we say that dresses and skirts are practical as well as pretty.

Remember - I never said wearing pants is wrong or immodest! I do it myself sometimes. I don't think these ladies are saying that it is wrong either, but they are sharing why they've made the choice themselves. That's all this post is about - just sharing.

For more pretty and modest skirts, try the above link for the outfits in the photo, as well as these:
Hannah Lise
Simply Modest
Butter and Honey
H2O Pink Label
Ringger Clothing - Sew Modest
The Frum Attic
and this online source list of Modest Clothing
as well as A Christian Home's Modest & Feminine Apparel

Also check out this modesty in dress blog I've linked to: offbeatmodestdress

I like to provide links when I can - in this day and age, it's so sad to hear someone say they "just can't find" modest clothing. Oh, and while searching, I came across a "new" link for modest swim wear, I'll have to add to the modest swim wear article I wrote a while ago. Since it's summertime in Australia now, how appropriate that this sun conscious website is providing protective swim wear in Australia, which just happens to be modest too: sharksuit.com.

Long Skirts - Beautiful

2007-11-30T12:00:00.001-05:00

I've almost completely shifted to wearing long skirts. There are so many styles popular now, from denim to dressy to East Indian, that are pretty, comfortable, and I can wear all day long, every day, even when cleaning the house! And I don't think I've ever had to worry about modesty when wearing them.

Long skirts are more practical than shorter skirts too (when they're fuller of course) in winter when you can wear leggings underneath for warmth. I even have one skirt that's made of a sweat suit type material that I've worn my old jeans underneath to play in the snow! The jeans were the uncomfortable part.

Did you ever notice how jeans can crinkle up behind your bent knees when you sit, especially if you have to get on the floor? A lot of bending pulls the denim across your knees in the front, and I'm not even going to go into the discomfort around the crotch at certain times. And how hot they are in the summer time.

Modesty, femininity, ease, comfort, practicality. I think there must have been a time when I'd have said, "who me? wear a skirt all day?" I'm glad I got over it.

Photo of fleece skirt above from The Mouse Works.com

Old Fashioned and New in Istanbul

2007-11-20T22:50:00.000-05:00

If you are interested in the various old fashioned qualities of various cultures, you must read this article. It is an enchanting visit of the author and family with some new friends in the country of Turkey. At home with the Usak Family, BY ROBERT WALTON, 11/7/07

Journaling Modesty in Dress

2007-11-20T22:21:00.000-05:00

I think I only missed this website/journal in the past because it is "livejournal.com" and not a "blogger.com". However it happened, I am happily surprised to find the lively cross-cultural and helpful discussions concerning modest style, including head covering at this journal. If you can spare a moment, you might want to check it out.

http://community.livejournal.com/modest_style/

Remember

2007-11-10T11:33:00.001-05:00

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Soldier

By Shawn Hlookoff

Some people say, I'm a fighter
Some people hate what I do
I stand for my country
I stand for you

I got a family that loves me
They respect what I do
Try telling your child you're leaving
Believe me it's a hard thing to do

So, If I die don't judge me
Cause, I will not judge you
And If I die, please accept it
Cause, I will die for you

We have our reasons
Rules, morals and beliefs
I won't slander your opinion
I'm just searching for peace

So, If I die don't judge me
Cause, I will not judge you
And If I die, please accept it
Cause, I will die for you

Click here to listen to this beautiful song

"And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again. Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented— of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth.

"And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
"For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing."

our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ

Interesting.

2007-11-04T19:42:00.000-05:00

"Living Apart... Together"

Click on the above title to read the article at MSNBC. It's not old-fashioned. It's not a 100% lady, though she's got potential. They're not actually Godly either. Just two happily married people with children, living in the city, who don't live together.

They're real people. And apparently they're not the only ones living this way.

Maybe I'm just "rubber necking", as they call it - turning to look at something and possibly wasting time at it because it's just so unbelievable and yet real.

I cannot actually think of anything to say after reading it, because, thoughtful lady that she was, she pretty much thought of anything that we might be thinking and addressed it in the article: why, how, what were you thinking, what about the kids, your friends, is this selfishness ... ?

And in the words of my beloved little brother, "Hey, I think this milk is going bad. You try it."

And now for something silly

2007-11-02T10:36:00.000-05:00

I got this as an email, and edited it a little to share with you. So many things are old fashioned these days ...

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill ...

BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda.

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way that I was going to lay a bunch of junk like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm getting close to 40, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy.

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog.

There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there.

There were no MP3's or Napsters. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or, if that was too bold, you just had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and screw it all up.

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your mom, your boss ... you just didn't know! You had to pick it up and take your chances.

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600. With games like " Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics were so basic - your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever. And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died. (Just like LIFE!)

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some old lady with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, that was tough.

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. There was no channel surfing. You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either - you could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use JiffyPop and shake it over the stove forever.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Ladies Dressing Warmly

2007-11-01T19:40:00.000-05:00

To go along with my last post of dressing warmly, and all my posts about dressing modestly and femininely, I offer you a link to a beautiful collection called Fall into Beauty.

How can I thank ladies of example enough for all that they are doing for me, and for others - to truly help us be the ladies we should be?

"Old Fashioned Ways to Stay Warm"

2007-10-31T14:45:00.000-05:00

An absolutely borrowed, copied and pasted article from the American Chronicle.

by C.D. Mohatta
October 29, 2007

A few weeks ago a friend of mine mentioned that she and her husband try each year to make it until Thanksgiving before turning on the heat in their home for the first time. She said, "It gives us yet another thing to be thankful for." I was shocked they can go so late in the season without turning on the heat even once! But I was also inspired by her story. I would like to match them this year.

You see, you can insulate like crazy, close off rooms you don’t use, and give your furnace a tune-up, but these things won’t make you more tolerant of the cold before the furnace comes on. So here are a few off the wall strategies for feeling more comfortable with less heat.

You’ve heard you should dress appropriately, but what is dressing appropriately? A lot of people don’t know. Start by layering. Several thin layers of long sleeved shirts, or two light or medium shirts plus a jacket or sweater will make you much more comfortable than just one or two thick layers. The reason for this is, it is actually the air in the fibers of sweaters and between the shirts that act as a barrier and keeps you warm. For this reason, several layers of clothes are warmer than fewer ones, much like double and triple pane windows are warmer than one thick piece of glass.

This is a trick I learned from a professor born in Germany. She showed me that when her socks wore out she’d cut off the feet and put the cuffs on her wrists in winter. This and a scarf around the neck is like wearing an additional sweater but without the bulk of it. The reason is, our blood passes close to the surface of our skin in these places. These days I knit pretty fingerless mitts or cuffs instead, and sometimes wear an old fashioned Dicky under a button-up shirt.

Multiple pairs of socks and / or extra warm slippers are also a must for staying warm in the home. Open-backed or acrylic slippers are not nearly as warm as woolen felted ones.

One year we discovered that if in the evenings we put on our coat and walked around the block for only ten minutes, that when we went indoors we’d be comfortable and warm for four or five hours. Metabolism is key in staying warm, which is why some people feel the cold much more than others, so stay active!

When my mother was growing up on a farm, they used to put bricks in the bottom of the oven, which would heat while cooking supper, and then after supper they’d be taken out, wrapped in towels, and put at the foot of the beds under the covers to keep the bed warm all night. These days you can use a hot water bottle or electric blanket to warm your bed or hold a heating pad or hot water bottle in your lap with a throw blanket over it while you are watching evening television.

With a little imagination you can keep warm in other ways: washing dishes by hand, drinking hot tea, having a cat or small dog in your lap, taking a hot bath. And let us not forget that two can stay warmer in bed than one!

To sum up the article, maybe your Mom or Grandma taught you already:

Dress in Layers
Cover Neck and Wrists
Extra Warm Feet
Stay Active
Use a Bed Warmer
Two Keep Warmer Than One
Be Creative in the Kitchen

And to help you out with that last entry, don't miss "50 Ways Chocolate Can Keep You Warm".

Picture above from "Vocational Guidance for Girls, by Marguerite Stockman Dickson", at Project Gutenberg eBooks

Contrasts in Culture

2007-10-29T21:31:00.000-05:00

Two articles referring to modesty came up this week I'd like to share with you.

In the first article, "Face-Veil: Mistaking Social Custom for Religious Rules," the author tackles a very ticklish subject. The idea of modesty, especially for a lady, is a part of her spirit, as what is inside is portrayed on the outside. For many religious women, modesty is a part of spiritual humility and the understanding that women were made differently from men for a reason. There is also the idea that beauty is not something to brag about or enhance vainly (since the physical things do tend to fall apart over time), but to accept humbly, or in "old fashioned" terms, modestly. What makes this subject so difficult is the fact that modesty is subjective. In regards to culture, especially, men and women grow up to understand that a certain style of dress, or certain behaviours, are humble and modest, while others are proud and vain. When a person moves into another culture - then what? Is the new culture too modest? Or not modest enough? And what makes people especially frustrated: Where will we draw the line? Muslims, this article points out, are taught to be modest in behaviour and apparel, but depending on the local culture, that definition changes. A very conservative, modest Muslim lady from Saudi who moves to the US, in this example, begins to move her own personal line, as she notices differences in the new local culture as to what is expected. I think most people in general would agree that there is no "law" which says that a woman is to cover her face and hands in public, and yet, there are women of all cultural backgrounds who may be very modest about their appearance.

And yet there are cultures where there seem to be no lines at all for modesty, and the idea itself is openly mocked. The second article that I came across today regarding modesty is the announcement that the Spice Girls singing group - known for their love of attracting attention - will be going on tour again, and this time, giving modesty and humility up for dead. The Spice Girls will get naked.

The Spice will reportedly being getting naked on stage for their reunion tour, and are getting paid $2 million each to do so..

Mel C, speaking to Graham Norton on his BBC 2 show, said: ‘We do actually go naked in the show, completely’

But, she insists that the girls will use props to hide their modesty.

According to Now Magazine, the famous four, who are reuniting later this year for an around the world reunion tour are also going to wow audiences with a pole-dancing strip-tease routine, for which they’ve reportedly received professional tutoring from exotic dancers.

‘It is their raunchiest routine ever and they just can’t wait,’ a source told the Daily Star.

‘It is going to be no holds barred. But they’re all in great shape, so why shouldn’t they just go for it?’

As I pointed out in my last blog article, Dear Abby says we modest girls should just grow a thicker skin and let these Spice Girls be. I think the "live and let live" attitude of our culture would agree.

But this disparity of cultures makes me sad. Sometimes it angers me, because I know that there are women who understand the difference between men and women, who know what the images can and have done to men and their families and their lives, and who still parade and flaunt and live in such a way that not only says that they are "confident" that they look good, but that they do not care about anyone but themselves and their own pleasure and comfort. They teach women who do not understand these things that to live immodestly is OK, and that the "backward", "old fashioned", "repressed" men and women will just have to accept them as they are. Not only accept, but get over the desire to be humble or modest, and live like they do. It's almost as if by proclaiming with flash and pomp: "Aren't We Naughty?", that they really want all people to be like them. But if all become like them, who will then be considered "naughty?" Unfortunately, it turns out that the ones in the wrong are those who want to preserve dignity, self-worth, marital fidelity, and mental purity; those who want "no lines drawn" will say that religious leaders, or leaders of families, have no right to make up arbitrary laws about the ambiguous idea of modesty - and then they will draw another line: that those who do establish limits are wrong. Noble Knights and Ladies are jeered. Honourable Fathers and Mothers are scorned and "put to death" in so many ways. All are sacrificed on the altar to the God of flashy self.

So How Does "the World" View Modesty?

2007-10-25T22:10:00.000-05:00

Grumpy old lady warning:

Does anyone still read "Dear Abby"? Apparently so, and they're still going to her for advice. In an article from October 19, she seems to say that it's "OK" to be modest and walk to the beat of a different drummer, at the same time pointing out that you are indeed "old fashioned" if you are more modest than your average slumber party girl. Oh, and she says to "grow a thick skin" - apparently an old fashioned modest girl needs it. Thanks for your encouraging advice, Abby. Way to keep "old fashioned" as the bad word here. /sarcasm

"About.com" has gotten in their say on the matter by ... putting it up for discussion. Reading some of the comments by grown women / mothers is kind of disheartening. Going nude or nearly nude, they seem to come to a consensus on, is just "being confident". Either that or just ignorant and unconcerned about it.

/grumble

A Book about Christian Modesty

2007-10-25T09:36:00.001-05:00

Normally when I post links, they are for information, and not to endorse or sell. However, I know this lovely author's wonderful Marmee, and am looking forward to her book doing some good work for the glory of God. Modesty: it's not so old-fashioned anymore. Is it?

The Modest Heart is now available for purchase through Xulon Press! Be sure to keep an eye on TheModestHeart.com for details.

Click here to buy.

Blurb from the website:

Discover how to cultivate the incorruptible beauty that is very precious in the sight of God with the practical guidelines and advice in The Modest Heart.

Be empowered to fight the waves of cultural immodesty that have invaded the lives of Christians today. You'll find new ways to effectively champion modesty in yourself and those around you.

Becoming a woman of godly grace is a journey that was never promised to be easy, but it can be one of the most joyful and fulfilling experiences of your life.

Discover how the true beauty of your heart is reflected in the decency of your body.

Stay At Home Dads

2007-10-17T15:42:00.000-05:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dear young Brother in Christ wrote to me and asked the following:

"There's this very strange movement that is recently emerging into the scene and showing its ugly head on the internet blogspots. I think you've mentioned it to me before but there are actually men out there (human beings of the male sex) who are actually remaining home and looking after the kids, housework and such while their wives are out earning an income. They're called "stay-at-home dads", it sounds extremely outlandish and absurd, I couldn't really believe that there were such men who would make such an outrageous choice. But anyways, it is a matter of fact and they're growing rather rapidly and have increased quite astronomically. I think there are approximately two million alone in the United States if I'm not mistaken. I wanted to inquire into this so I went to google it, but did not find anything sound from the Christian webpages. It is also a lamentable fact that many churches are actually condoning it, and there are many actual professing bible-believing "christians" who are going down this path. Do you know anything of this? Or is the media hype a bit exaggerated? Do you have any Christian articles that debunks this movement?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I posted the letter anonymously in a private discussion group and received a great deal of feedback, which I include below.

But first, what does the scripture say?

Titus 2:3-5 "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

1 Peter 3 "7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."

Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Also read: Proverb 31, 1 Corinthians 11 and the contentious woman Proverbs: 25:24; 21:19; 19:13; 27:15 which deal with the woman leaving her role.

-----------------
The following are comments that were made by Christian women to my personal blog:

"Titus 2 says that older women are to teach younger women to be keepers at home (busy at home, working at home). Therefore, any man who takes on the woman's role is effeminate (taking on the female role/qualities) and emasculated (putting off the male role/qualities). Such a man is defiant against God's design for male and female roles (perhaps out of ignorance).

I Timothy 5 teaches that it is the responsibility of the man to provide for his wife, children, and relatives. Paul says that a man who fails to work and provide is worse than an unbeliever."

"A person that has not decided to stop living for themselves and live for Christ will not be ready to accept this teaching.

One of the greatest consequences of this switch in roles manifests it self in the lack of spiritual leaders that are ready to fight spiritual battles. Our men need to be on the front lines of this battle: Ephesians 6:10-20, Romans 10:14-17, 1 Timothy 3:1-13, 2 Timothy 4:5. When we take our warriors and keep them at home we are setting ourselves up for certain loss."

"Perhaps a warning could read: Men, be strong and courageous ... LEAD! Women, be strong and courageous, stop controlling and let them lead! It takes more courage and strength to be led than it does to be in control."

"One friend wrote anonymously, and I wanted to share the thought, since many men have been forced into this situation: "Due to his physical disabilities, [a man I know] was forced into this role out of necessity and HATED it. I can't fathom why any self-respecting man would choose it.""

"I believe part of it is because the feminist movement has taught women to be unhappy with the best career in the world, to be a homemaker and/or mother.

I do not believe that it is wrong for a woman to earn money, the worthy woman obviously did, but I believe its obvious from those scriptures it was from things that she made at home because of all of the other things she did, it is quite the undertaking to do all of the mentioned and hold a job outside of the home.

There is nothing new under the sun, there had to be a reason there were scriptures admonishing women how they should act (Titus 2, Proverbs 31, 1 Corinthians 11, etc.). God did not create us equal, he sees us as equal in the respect that our souls are valued the same, but he made us different. He has specific rules laid out for both genders and for a while I resisted them because I had friends and the world telling me that I shouldn't be happy staying at home even without children. It is so hard to do good for others, to fulfill my role as a wife and a Christian woman without being at home.

Now I understand that there are some circumstances where the woman must work, but I believe they are over exaggerated, if we would stop listening to society and live within our means."

"I think the outgrowth of the stay-at-home dads is just the natural (really unnatural) progression of the feminist movement. If women ARE actually the SAME as men, why not? (said facetiously.)

The fact of the matter is that this is not the Lord's plan. Women are to be home keepers, men the providers. That's the way God designed it.

And I believe that there is a REASON for this design, beyond the natural order of authority. Men grow into Godly men by carrying the burden of provision for their families. They sacrifice self, and learn many godly characteristics as they bear their responsibility to lead and provide for their families. In the same way, we wives grow more godly as we lay our lives down in service to our families. I believe that this is the explanation for the verse in I Tim. that speaks of women being "saved in childbearing." "

"It seems a natural progression that with women taking on the role of provider that men would take on the primary role of keepers at home (Titus2-role for women). However, I would like to see an increase in the time that the fathers spend at home. A father need not neglect his responsibilities to the rearing and instruction of his children because he is fullfilling obligations as the breadwinner. Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. This is certainly hard to do with fathers spending only 6.4 hours (I think I read that was the average now) a week with their children."

"While I wholeheartedly promote the biblical example, I do like the trend today that was absent in the era of my childhood that fathers actually spend time with their kids and know them, thus knowing what they need."

"I think Dads who stay at home and "work from home" are still providing for their families, and not "kicking the wife out" of her place either, for the most part. The movement of the "home office" seems to be a pretty good one to me, in the sense that it will have fathers around their children to bring them up properly. I think the question above to be addressed really concerns the man who claims to be a man of God, and who chooses to send his wife into the world to make money for the family, while he stays at home to manage the home and children. "

----------------------
Also - I came across this blog article (in Jess' Making Home blog) discussing this same topic: "It Starts With the Head", by Terry, who writes the blog "Ornaments of Grace". I encourage you to read this article and the comments made to it for more old fashioned, Christian thought and encouragement in this matter.

Volumes could be written, but very little will be said in the end that can go beyond the simplicity of Genesis 2:18. As one lady pointed out, those who do not have a Godly mindset will not understand this subject, as it comes from the authority of holy scriptures.

(To myself, I wonder how many honest non-believers though can look at the evidence of the world's experience and science, psychology and tradition, and not see the truth of these things: that there is a way that is best, and to ride that smooth path is actually easier and more peaceful in the end than to fight it on the ground of selfish ambition.)

------------
A Christian Brother also responded to my post: "Except for brief periods of time, e.g. school, or if the husband is disabled and cannot do work outside the home (although I would inquire whether some business could be conducted from the home)." If the problem is that Dads aren't nurturing their children, and that's the reason that a man chooses to "stay at home", then it seems reasonable to expect that he won't sacrifice his wife's responsibilities or the family well being by leaving all work. I did come across one interesting blog/website encouraging Dads to stay at home with their kids by working from their home. Called "Christian Work at Home Dads". It's really not that hard.

Modesty Modeled

2007-10-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

Bod Squad Tour models modesty, fashion for girls (link)
quoted segments here by Cheryl Sherry; Post-Crescent, WI, staff writer

Created by best-selling Christian author Dannah Gresh for girls in grades three through six, the mother-daughter event features two fashion shows modeled by girls in the audience, new Gotee Christian recording artist Stephanie Smith, a Truth or Bare fashion quiz and Biblical teaching about the media and true beauty. The goal of the event is to show girls modesty and fashion can peacefully co-exist.

Not sure how necessary it is for modesty to coexist with fashion? Women wake up in the morning with a desire to figure out what to wear: to pick out a blouse, a skirt, and then what to do with her hair. Oops. Excuse the song from "Yentl". The idea is there - don't we, as women and even when we were girls, desire to at least look nice, presentable, not clashing, not frumpy? Maybe we get over it when we're older, and decide we don't have to look nice anymore because our inner beauty is all that matters, but most women still know that our inner beauty is reflected in what we put on. Think about it: why does almost every discussion of modesty turn to fashion? We really are what we wear. I think I applaud the idea of modeling modesty to the young girls. Optionally, it should be done by the family and spiritual family first, but if there is not a strong guide there, then someone who has some ideas to help is much appreciated.

Kimberly School District Superintendent Mel Lightner said dress codes are a big issue in public schools.

"Unfortunately, too many kids dress inappropriately when it comes to school," Lightner said. "I see one of the problems is that the culture and media promotes inappropriate dress many times in inappropriate venues. The message that children receive … is that it really doesn't matter how you dress, but it certainly does."

....

"(Modesty) kind of has a bad rap," Gresh added. "Girls are sort of afraid of it and think, Are they going to make me dress like a schoolmarm with lace to my chin? We tell them modesty is not about not expressing your beauty, but expressing it with caution because it is so valuable."

Check the link above for the full article/review, and the Bare truth fashion challenge in the side box.

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In other news websites, see another review of "the burgeoning modesty movement," by Penna Dexter in the Baptist Press. And she quotes:

Allyson Waterman, from the shopping magazine Lucky and a regular guest on ABC's "Good Morning America," says we've hit a limit in style and behavior. She says the modesty backlash is not about being dumpy or "hiding under a lot of fabric" but "about embracing a woman's body with elegance and decorum," a la the style icons of the past like Jackie Onassis, Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn. No, they're not the role models for Christian girls, but we never saw their navels or their bra straps.

I really do think that modesty is all about being female, and is natural. Else why would it be so prominent a subject among women of many different faiths, and many without any faith, and not just Christian women?

Clearing Up Breastfeeding Misconceptions

2007-09-28T10:20:00.000-05:00

Follow up article in the Rockford Register Star, Rockford, IL

Perception vs. reality: Breastfeeding is OK

By Elizabeth Davies, September 26, 2007

Click on the title to link to the official news website and read the entire article. Below are a few extractions from the article.

Q: A teen girl walks through the food court at the mall. Her pants are so low-cut that it’s obvious she isn’t wearing any underwear.

Inappropriate or acceptable?

Q: The woman ringing up your purchases at the corner store is wearing a shirt that’s so revealing, it’s possible a stiff wind will blow the thing right out of there.

Inappropriate or acceptable?

Q: A mother is holding a crying baby in a restaurant booth. She lifts her shirt just enough to offer the baby her breast, and the child’s head covers any exposed skin.

Inappropriate or acceptable?

Too often, women in today’s society are condemned for feeding their children in public. Despite overwhelming health benefits for both mother and baby, the act of breast-feeding still carries a social stigma.

Here are a few of the perceptions surrounding breastfeeding:
. . .
Perception: Nursing in public is lewd and inappropriate.

Reality: There’s nothing sexual about nursing a child. It is, without dispute, the most natural and healthiest way to feed a baby. If you can’t look at breasts as something other than a sexual object, it’s time to spend more time learning to respect and honor the women around you. Breasts were created to feed children, not to entertain men.
. . .
Perception: A nursing mother could very easily put a blanket over herself.

Reality: Blankets aren’t always available. They’re often hot. Some babies just won’t keep them on. And replacing a blanket one-handed while trying not to drop your baby is pretty darned difficult.

Perception: Mothers who nurse in public are trying to cause trouble.

Reality: If a mother really wanted to irritate the people around her, she would let her hungry baby scream. Instead, she’s giving the baby what he needs in a quiet way.
And besides, very few mothers who just went through nine months of pregnancy are particularly eager to show off their bodies to the world. They’re just doing what needs to be done.

Perception: Nursing mothers just “whip it out” in front of God and everyone.

Reality: OK, so we’ve all heard the stories about moms who walked around with their entire breasts showing while feeding their children. But those moms are in the minority.

Most breastfeeding mothers simply look as though they are holding a baby. Chances are, you’ve passed a breast-feeding mother in the aisle at Target or on a bench at the park and not even realized what she was doing.

Perhaps if you caught the mother at the right angle, if the baby moved its head or if you stared really hard, you might see a flash of skin. Turn away, just as you would if a woman walked by with her skirt accidentally tucked into her pantyhose.

Perception: Women who breast-feed in public are offending those around them.

Reality: People who smell, wear their clothes too tight and learned their table manners in a barnyard offend me, but I don’t see anyone telling them to leave.

Posting because I appreciate this author's point of view. Each person must decide for themselves what is right and good. And if you offend me, I will discreetly turn my head, as I hope you will do if I offend you. If I am about to walk off a spiritual cliff, though, I do hope that you will at least tell me to watch my step.

I do not agree with everything she writes. Regarding her statement that "Breasts were created to feed children, not to entertain men:" I must, as a Christian and an honest human being, disagree. The wise teacher said "may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." (Proverbs 5:19) Also check out the Song of Solomon! I think breasts were created to entertain men and to feed children. ERGO... we are responsible to be discreet, careful, and "modest", when we are feeding our children. People need to understand the and conjunction. Women are not to "whip it out", not caring for the men's hearts, and men are not to ogle, not caring for the women's hearts. But all in all, when men and women are being ladies and gentlemen, understanding that nursing a child at the breast is a beautiful way of nourishing a child, and in our Creator's own plan, then there is nothing wrong or indecent about doing it "in public".

"Education, education, education," as they say. Let us keep teaching the younger women - in the church and out - of the propriety of loving your children by feeding them in this natural, loving way, and doing so sensibly and discreetly. And then maybe, as they observe chaste and respectful behavior, men will also be won to honor women in an understanding way, as heirs of grace.

Breast Feeding "versus" Modesty?

2007-09-24T17:26:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking that old fashioned girls might get a tad confused by this one. Our mothers and grandmothers made very sure to buy the "best" formula, boil those bottles, and not even think about the commonality or animal instinct to feed babies at the breast. Much less would it be done or spoken of in public. Our society encourages mothers who want to feed their children in the even older old fashioned way to please treat this as if it is talking about "that time of the month." Sad thing is, products for "that time of the month" are talked about all over the airwaves and in magazines, but breast feeding is thought of as yucky somehow, indecent, something to be embarrassed about. Mothers who breast feed may be aware of the stories that are told of visiting foreign lands where women were more concerned that their heads were covered in the presence of a man, than their baby feeders. True - the breast is lovely. Even the Bible tells a young man to enjoy the breasts of his wife. But that's not all they're there for, just as that's not all the wives are there for either.

So is it modest to feed your baby at the breast in public? Most breast feeding mothers I know were very discreet about it, even able to feed their crying child during church services, so that no one knew that they were "proud" to feed their babies naturally. I say "proud" because it is often the opposite of modest, isn't it? A woman who isn't "modest" about it, flaunts it. Most nursing mothers aren't "flaunting it" - they're just feeding their children.

I wish there was a way to teach the world - well, at least the "educated"world who have some strange hang up against natural, old fashioned feeding of children - that it's perfectly all right for a woman to feed her hungry baby without feeling like she's broken some sexual law. They aren't "showing off", that is "being immodest", after all. They are some of the humblest women you know. If almost 75 percent of babies are breast fed, for at least a little while, I'm sure you know some of them too.

Thoughts spurred on by the following article...

Health, concern come before modesty for mothers
Sep 19, 2007 @ 08:00 AM
By Elizabeth Davies
RRSTAR.COM

Pick up any can of Enfamil formula and you’ll likely see the motto: “Even closer to breast milk.”

Even formula companies admit it: Breast milk is the healthiest food for our babies. So much so that the federal government has set a goal of having three-quarter of all babies breast-fed in the next two years.

At present, slightly less than 75 percent of all babies are breast-fed. That means 75 percent of new fathers have seen breasts function as a source of nutrition rather than excitement. Seventy-five percent of older siblings grow up knowing that a woman’s breasts do more than look good on the pages of Playboy.

But despite growing education and promotion of breast-feeding, society is sending nursing mothers a mixed message. Consider this:

* A nursing mother was asked to stop while at a Wheaton swimming pool because it was a “family” setting, according to the Wheaton Sun.

* A nursing mother in Kentucky was asked to cover herself in an Applebee’s restaurant, according to the Lexington Herald-Leader. Upon hearing her complaint, the company said it would provide blankets for nursing mothers in its restaurants.

(OK, all mothers go ahead and shudder in unison at the thought of putting a public blanket over your child’s face.)

* A nursing mother on a Delta Airlines flight was asked to leave the plane, according to MSNBC.

I’ve nursed my child in parks, restaurants and department stores. I’ve done it at the gym, in a hair salon and at church. To the best of my knowledge, I haven’t given an X-rated show to anyone around.

I have, however, fed my child when he was hungry and comforted him when he was upset.

I’m a fairly modest person, so I didn’t expect to be the type to nurse in public. But when your child eats every two hours, you have two options: 1) never leave the house; or 2) get a life and get over it.

Like many moms, I get a tad nervous about feeding in public. Obviously, I would prefer to be in the comfort of my quiet, private home.

Nursing moms always have their guards up, ready to spring into action if their little one’s busy hands decide to expose mommy’s goods to the world. But we’re more nervous about the one person who will walk up and try to bully us out of doing this very good, healthy thing for our child.

Moms in Illinois have the legal right to breast-feed anywhere they otherwise are allowed to be. Standing in line for a roller coaster? You bet. Wandering through the produce section at the grocery store? Absolutely.

But those hushed whispers and open-mouthed stares make it difficult. That shouldn’t be the case. Nursing mothers should not be made to feel dirty or promiscuous simply because they are making a choice for their child.

As breast-feeding becomes a more popular option for mothers across the country, society needs to learn some tolerance. This isn’t about sexuality — heck, teen girls wandering the mall tend to show more skin than a nursing mother — and it’s not about indecency.

It’s about giving a child the benefits of breast milk: A lower risk of obesity, reduced exposure to food allergies, a stronger immune system.

It’s one of the things mothers were made for.

Writer’s note: Next week’s column will discuss some of the myths surrounding public breast-feeding. Elizabeth Davies’ column runs Thursdays in People of the Rock River Valley in the Rockford Register Star.

Tell Me 'Bout the Good Old Days

2007-09-17T13:30:00.000-05:00

Blast from the past today. I can still see the 1988 Friends group singing this one. Some dear heart had written today about the good old days, and this song came to my head, though I haven't heard it for years. I never saw this video (gotta love the 80's hair).

Made me all nostalgic.

by the Judds:

Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days
Sometimes it feels like this world's gone crazy
Grandpa, take me back to yesterday
When the line between right and wrong
Didn't seem so hazy

Did lovers really fall in love to stay
And stand beside each other, come what may
Was a promise really something people kept
Not just something they would say
Did families really bow their heads to pray
Did daddies really never go away
Oh, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days

Grandpa, everything is changing fast
We call it progress, but I just don't know
And Grandpa, let's wander back into the past
And paint me the picture of long ago

Did lovers really fall in love to stay
And stand beside each other come what may
Was a promise really something people kept
Not just something they would say and then forget
Did families really bow their heads to pray
Did daddies really never go away
Oh, Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days
Oh, Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days