I really appreciate the frankness of this article. The why, when and how are all addressed, and in a calm manner too. I like the simple summary of femininity according to scripture as well. Well done, Headmistress. Click:
"Addressing Biblical Femininity and Modesty With Our Daughters"
Showing posts with label lady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lady. Show all posts
01 March 2009
Fashion, Tznius and Modesty, and Royalty
Being an old fashioned lady, I sometimes find myself surrounded with tasks of the "here and now", with little time taken for future planning. That is a subject unto itself, which I am working on, as I suppose many other women must also work on daily: how to balance all of these immediate calls with the calls to be ready for things to come.
However, I have come back to post an article that I found so interesting and helpful and encouraging for those ladies who desire to dress respectfully, modestly and beautifully. "The Fashion Conundrum: Does Being Fashionable Clash with being Tznius?", an article from "Bargain Jewess" at wordpress, enunciates so many of the thoughts that all modest, lovely ladies have had while figuring out what to wear. Do we dress frumpy? Wearing a sack dress and hiding our bodies as if we are ashamed? Aren't we to dress so that you can tell that we're women? Young women hear the term "modest dress" and immediately assume that we mean only prairie dresses from the last century or two, or even Middle Eastern garb pictured in our illustrated Bibles, and in the news. But is there truly a "happy medium?" Can we be modest and fashionable, and if so, why would we want to be? Doesn't being attractively attired draw attention to us and therefore contradict being modest, or in Jewish terms, tznius?
Some of this writer's opinion is stated thus:
The author of the above article concludes: "I think that it’s important to remember ... that tznius and fashion forward can go hand in hand, and not only not be polar opposites, but heighten the honor and grace of the Jewish woman." I think that perhaps modesty and respectful fashion can heighten the honor and grace of us all, to the glory of God.
However, I have come back to post an article that I found so interesting and helpful and encouraging for those ladies who desire to dress respectfully, modestly and beautifully. "The Fashion Conundrum: Does Being Fashionable Clash with being Tznius?", an article from "Bargain Jewess" at wordpress, enunciates so many of the thoughts that all modest, lovely ladies have had while figuring out what to wear. Do we dress frumpy? Wearing a sack dress and hiding our bodies as if we are ashamed? Aren't we to dress so that you can tell that we're women? Young women hear the term "modest dress" and immediately assume that we mean only prairie dresses from the last century or two, or even Middle Eastern garb pictured in our illustrated Bibles, and in the news. But is there truly a "happy medium?" Can we be modest and fashionable, and if so, why would we want to be? Doesn't being attractively attired draw attention to us and therefore contradict being modest, or in Jewish terms, tznius?
Some of this writer's opinion is stated thus:
As a princess, there are certainly some ways to dress and behave, because, as we all know, no matter how modest a royal may be, they will "stand out" in a crowd. Let us all hope to stand out with dignity, modesty, respect for our Father. There will be places where we must "draw the line," and in truth, those who are seeing things through spiritual eyes will be able to find where that line is for them and those with whom they come in contact. Obviously, this will be different for each lady, each family, each community, and even among various cultures. But there is one over-riding standard: that which is put forward by the One who designed us to be lovely, and chaste, and helpful (not destructive) to those around us, and especially our husbands.A Jewish woman is considered a princess in Hebrew, a bas melech. The daughter of a king would only be kitted in the finest of fashions and of course would set the fashion tone for the entire country. She of course would never be dressed in any way that would disrespect her father the king but she certainly would always be expected to look more beautiful and put together than anyone else in the kingdom. The same goes true for the Jewish princess.
I honestly feel that an orthodox Jewish women should always be as fashionable and as classy as possible. There are many ways to look fantastic without baring it all. In general the women I find the most elegant are those who choose to cover it up rather than let it all hang out. Obviously just because you wear a skirt doesn’t mean that you are classy, or elegant I have seen many pants that are more modest that certain skirts. I’m also not here to get into debates on pants, short sleeves, how you cover your hair or any of that sort thing, in my opinion each person must do what they feel comfortable doing and it is between them and God.
Yet I think that each Jewish woman and all women should think of themselves as a princess and therefore there is nothing wrong with wearing stylish fashionable clothes so long as they aren’t thigh high and cut down to the belly button. I think that if you dress stylishly but elegantly you are still tzanua and in no way breaking any tznius code. I think that when people tell you otherwise they are steering you away from looking and feeling your best.
1 Peter 3: 1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.Don't let your "adorning" - the thing that makes you beautiful and attractive to others who see you - be an external style of fashion. But let your behaviour - which includes your words and how your dress and how you receive others, showing the True Light reflected through your behaviour - adorn you as a holy woman who hopes in God, a daughter of Sarah, the Princess and wife of Abraham.
The author of the above article concludes: "I think that it’s important to remember ... that tznius and fashion forward can go hand in hand, and not only not be polar opposites, but heighten the honor and grace of the Jewish woman." I think that perhaps modesty and respectful fashion can heighten the honor and grace of us all, to the glory of God.
31 January 2009
Beauty Tips
Timeless Beauty TIps - by LisaMe on Polyvore.com
Artwork: "A Russian Beauty", by Alexei Alexeivich Harlamoff
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." - Peter
28 January 2009
True Beauty
I found this poem in the sidebar at "Making Jesus my Pearl":
THE BEAUTY OF A WOMAN
Author unknown
The beauty of a woman;
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries;
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman;
must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman;
is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman;
Is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman;
With passing years - only grows!
How sweet!
This reminded me of another sweet quote I found once:
"For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge you never walk alone."
~~~~~
And what says the Bible concerning beauty:
Proverb: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
~~~~~
Isaiah: "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him."
~~~~~
Peter: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Want a shocker? Check the contests called "Fountain of Age" at Worth1000.com, where folks have used Photoshop on some of our most beautiful celebrities, so that we can have a guess at what they might look like when beauty fades...
THE BEAUTY OF A WOMAN
Author unknown
The beauty of a woman;
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries;
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman;
must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman;
is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman;
Is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman;
With passing years - only grows!
How sweet!
This reminded me of another sweet quote I found once:
"For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge you never walk alone."
~~~~~
And what says the Bible concerning beauty:
Proverb: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
~~~~~
Isaiah: "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him."
~~~~~
Peter: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Want a shocker? Check the contests called "Fountain of Age" at Worth1000.com, where folks have used Photoshop on some of our most beautiful celebrities, so that we can have a guess at what they might look like when beauty fades...
23 October 2008
Those Politics
We interrupt this everyday living for some political thoughts.
As we live our lives, we do take in the world around us, not living in fear of it, but aware and understanding, and on guard for our hearts and our families.
Christian ladies, please consider this one man's thoughts and understanding of the Bible and politics: "For Whom Should a Christian Vote?"
Other thoughts on this topic by this author include:
As we live our lives, we do take in the world around us, not living in fear of it, but aware and understanding, and on guard for our hearts and our families.Christian ladies, please consider this one man's thoughts and understanding of the Bible and politics: "For Whom Should a Christian Vote?"
Other thoughts on this topic by this author include:
"We Christians need to get back to what the Bible teaches us about politics. God only ever legislated that we care about one issue politically and that is found in I Timothy 2:1-2. He asked us to care that our leaders would allow us to lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and diginified in every way. Interestingly, God did not ask us to do anything political to make that happen. He asked us to pray.
. . .
"Let me also point out that God has not once ever laid on us the responsibility of trying to get the right kind of leader over our nation. Therefore, He has never laid on us any responsibility regarding our vote. It simply isn't in the Bible. If it is, please show me the book, chapter and verse.
"I do believe we are allowed to vote. I believe each of us is allowed to vote based on the issues we believe are most important. I have most often voted based on issues of abortion. I may do that again this year. Though, frankly, I am far more concerned about the fiscal positions of the candidates than their moral positions. I am thankful that the candidate I'm thinking of voting for lines up with me on both fiscal and moral issues. I don't have to make the choice.
"The point, however, is this. God has not ever directed our votes. He hasn't asked us to vote. He has not given us the responsibility to vote. He has never asked us to pass on His will via political means. Therefore, it is high time that Christians hop of their high political horses and quit acting like their candidate is God's man. It is high time Christians got back to spreading God's will the way God asked--talking to people about the Gospel. It is high time that Christians quit trying to act like God has some stake in a nation being democratic. Lest you forget, the one time God set up a nation--it was a theocratic monarchy. Therefore, it is high time we quit making a person's vote a test of their spirituality and Christianity.
"Additionally, it is also high time Christians quit throwing out their Christianity during election time. I am no fan of Obama. I hope he loses. I think he will be bad for the country. But I am so sick of receiving e-mails filled with speculative and often completely fallacious stuff to try to scare me from voting for Obama.
"Obama has not ever said he would choose his religion of Islam over his nation. He has consistently claimed to be a Christian. The statement that he would stand with the Muslims has been taken out of context and misused. He was not saying he would choose Islam over America. He was writing specifically about the issue of investigating American Muslims in the same way Japanese Americans were investigated during WWII and said if the politics of America shifted in favor of mistreating Americans because they are Muslim, he would stand with the Muslims.
"Slander and malice is not allowed among Christians even during elections. Further, we are commanded to honor our governing authorities and these commands were given when the authorities were far less favorable to Christianity than Obama will ever be. "
13 October 2008
Challenge?
Take a 31-day challenge with me and to read the 31 verses of Proverbs 31 every day for the next 31 days.
[Danger: dripping sarcasm ahead, and not one of my friends are being singled out and picked on here:]
"Ack. - Proverbs 31? Sorry - not perfect, not me: I have no husband, no children, wasn't raised in the church, don't have the money or the servants, can't sew, can't cook, don't live in Israel, yada yada yada."
Oh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me, God? Did you hear? You put something in your perfectly saved and written Word that doesn't apply to us today, which we can't even learn anything from.
And, NO, I didn't really mean that.
You know what - I dislike this chapter of Proverbs, too. It has always been some "high ideal that nobody can reach" in my mind for so long, that I've probably forgotten most of the verses I memorized for Bible class when I was younger. This lady makes me tired. She makes me feel inadequate. She makes me feel guilty.
But I'm committed to trying even more to be the woman that God made me to be. I feel confused and discouraged so many times. I argue with my husband. I let my children get away with things that I had determined to never let them get away with, and things which could very well make their future life more difficult. I end a day discouraged because I haven't done everything I wanted to do - or anything I wanted. Sometimes I spend too much time on the computer.
Consider this quote:
"You take time to look through women’s magazines to see what a beautiful woman, a beautiful home, a beautiful marriage looks like. I want to challenge you over this next month to put down those magazines. Put them away. I’m not saying they’re necessarily sinful or wrong; I’m just saying they’re what this world has to offer in terms of a picture of beauty.
"Instead, pick up this picture. Matthew Henry called it a looking glass which every woman ought to look into as she dresses herself. Pick up this picture and examine it. Take time—spend time in it studying it—and then ask yourself, “Where am I getting my picture of what it means to be a woman?” Where are you getting your ideas of womanhood? Who shaped your standard? Was it shaped by the world, or has it been shaped by the Word of God? "
I don't think I'll ever be perfect. I don't think I'll ever "be" the Proverbs 31 woman. But I'm not even going to come close to being a woman that people will look at and see Christ living in me, glorifying God, if I don't spend time in God's Word, and allowing myself to listen and learn and shed all those years of worldliness that I've let take over my thoughts.
And if my words seem a little snotty here, consider this: I'm not perfect, but hopefully, after really listening to and spending more time with God in this matter, reverently and devotedly, I'll be able to convey my thoughts more gently, more helpfully, and more Godly.
“Why did God make women? What is His purpose for us? How is it different from His purpose for creating men?” Now, there are some purposes that are similar or the same, but there are some purposes that are unique and distinctive.
Why did God create the man first, and then the woman? What does it mean for man to provide a spiritual covering and protection for a wife, and for a woman to be a responder to male initiative? Why is this a biblical way of thinking—in a culture that thinks you’ve got two heads if you talk that way, in a culture where it’s very politically incorrect to see any but the obvious physiological differences between men and women?
Why are there differences? And why are they more significant than the physiological differences? What does that mean for a woman in dating, in courtship? What does it mean for a single woman who wants to be married? What is her role? What is her responsibility? Does she go looking for a husband? How does she respond, when she has a husband, to his leadership?
What does it mean to be the woman 1 Peter 3 talks about who has a submissive spirit—who has a gentle and a quiet spirit? Does that mean she never talks? Well, it doesn’t. But what does it mean? Does it mean she doesn’t have an outgoing personality? Well, it doesn’t mean that. But what does it mean? What does it look like for women to reflect the image of God in ways that are distinctively feminine for us as women—and for women to be women in the body of Christ?"
above questions quoted from Nancy Leigh DeMoss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Join the challenge, read the Bible, pray daily and always
12 October 2008
True Woman
A big deal in interdenominational conservative Christians recently has been the "True Woman '08" conference in Chicago, this past weekend. Put together much like many of our "ladies' weekends", speakers came and spoke, prayers and hymns were sung, and some lives were changed. Difference being that this was about 2000 ladies from several countries, from a wide variety of backgrounds (I saw in the photos women with prayer caps like the Mennonites, women acting out very "Pentecostal" like, etc.), and the speakers had all written many many books and probably most women there did not feel the same way about raising of funds for doing God's work, the importance of physical things like baptism, the Lord's Supper observances, head covering, foot washing, church buildings, etc. I did tune in to some of the free live streaming presentations. I missed John Piper and Joni Erickson Tada (you may have heard their names), but I did hear from a woman who had written a book many years ago countering the feminist "Feminine Mystique" book with her own "Feminine Mistake". Oh, how we have all been led, regardless of our doctrine as regards the follower of God, in general.
The point being brought out in all of these lessons is that part of The Doctrine that we are all missing as that of living out the teachings, traditions, commandments of Christ in our day to day lives; specifically here, us women. We aren't men. God designed from the beginning that we were to be different. And not just biologically. I know I bought into the lie. I remember smiling at the Virginia Slims ads: "You've come a long way, Baby" (from the days when we women were slaves). Thing is, we weren't slaves. We were made to be content in our role as the Church incarnate. Many women were and still are, and I dare say, even those who are not trying to follow God's written laws, or those who are following them misguidedly, or who are following laws not written by God but who believe that they are. His law is written in our hearts, and in our consciences, and we rebel against our nature and mess things up for ourselves and those around us, when we think we can do anything men can do AND have babies too. I've been learning this more and more the past few years (and I am just 40 years old now), trying to get my thinking out of all the "stuff" that I was raised up with, skipping out on Home Ec. because it was beneath me. HA! I read and hear so many younger women who think us older women are nuts and old fashioned but not truly Christian, for believing these things; and who become "doormats". Wait a minute. Jesus Christ was a doormat - Jesus washed dirty feet, and was spat on. Right? It's time, says this conference and I think so to, that we Christian ladies - especially if you feel that all those ladies at the conferences don't have the full understanding of Scripture as they should - to get up and truly be different from the world, to teach the younger women to be different, and to show our mothers and aunties who really did mean well but didn't train us correctly, that we are going to be what God made us to be: Truly different from men, in our worship, our teaching, our day to day lives.
Look at Titus 2 again - when the elders and older women are described, it is their manner of life which is focused upon. Don't you long for the kind of "Church of Christ" that we heard about (and maybe some of you lived during) when other Christians knew that if a Bible was missing during a trial that they could smilingly suggest that they could "swear on a member of the church of Christ" because they knew and lived the Word so well?
Living the doctrine of Christ. It's more than a check list. It's more than a "skirts touch knees and two fingers below the collar bone" form of modesty. It's more than 2 times a week putting up with other people "at church", and blogging on an all black and white blogspace, or avoiding blogs at all. It's more than knowing the Greek and Hebrew and having the biggest library. It's more than reading out of a lesson book for your turn at teaching the class. It's doing more than making a casserole, or signing up to host the visiting preacher for lunch.
It's living it with your whole life and your whole heart - that's true doctrine: something which transforms and makes you come out from among them and be separate. Not just another building on Church Street. Not just a great social group where no one uses bad language and watches clean movies together. But if that's all there is - a checklist - then how are we more righteous than those Pharisees? What makes us different, and therefore a light on a hill, or on a lampstand?
If we say we don't need those outside denominational preachers and teachers or videos or books or Christian counselors in order to truly live the blessed yet difficult temporary life that Christ has called us to, because He did give us the saved written Word, then let's get out there and live it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But if you're interested, here's the page where you can listen for free to the talks given at that conference I mentioned: True Woman '08. I listened to Piper's talk this morning. If you feel I'm falling off track and need to be pulled back - PLEASE let me know.
The point being brought out in all of these lessons is that part of The Doctrine that we are all missing as that of living out the teachings, traditions, commandments of Christ in our day to day lives; specifically here, us women. We aren't men. God designed from the beginning that we were to be different. And not just biologically. I know I bought into the lie. I remember smiling at the Virginia Slims ads: "You've come a long way, Baby" (from the days when we women were slaves). Thing is, we weren't slaves. We were made to be content in our role as the Church incarnate. Many women were and still are, and I dare say, even those who are not trying to follow God's written laws, or those who are following them misguidedly, or who are following laws not written by God but who believe that they are. His law is written in our hearts, and in our consciences, and we rebel against our nature and mess things up for ourselves and those around us, when we think we can do anything men can do AND have babies too. I've been learning this more and more the past few years (and I am just 40 years old now), trying to get my thinking out of all the "stuff" that I was raised up with, skipping out on Home Ec. because it was beneath me. HA! I read and hear so many younger women who think us older women are nuts and old fashioned but not truly Christian, for believing these things; and who become "doormats". Wait a minute. Jesus Christ was a doormat - Jesus washed dirty feet, and was spat on. Right? It's time, says this conference and I think so to, that we Christian ladies - especially if you feel that all those ladies at the conferences don't have the full understanding of Scripture as they should - to get up and truly be different from the world, to teach the younger women to be different, and to show our mothers and aunties who really did mean well but didn't train us correctly, that we are going to be what God made us to be: Truly different from men, in our worship, our teaching, our day to day lives.
Look at Titus 2 again - when the elders and older women are described, it is their manner of life which is focused upon. Don't you long for the kind of "Church of Christ" that we heard about (and maybe some of you lived during) when other Christians knew that if a Bible was missing during a trial that they could smilingly suggest that they could "swear on a member of the church of Christ" because they knew and lived the Word so well?
Living the doctrine of Christ. It's more than a check list. It's more than a "skirts touch knees and two fingers below the collar bone" form of modesty. It's more than 2 times a week putting up with other people "at church", and blogging on an all black and white blogspace, or avoiding blogs at all. It's more than knowing the Greek and Hebrew and having the biggest library. It's more than reading out of a lesson book for your turn at teaching the class. It's doing more than making a casserole, or signing up to host the visiting preacher for lunch.
It's living it with your whole life and your whole heart - that's true doctrine: something which transforms and makes you come out from among them and be separate. Not just another building on Church Street. Not just a great social group where no one uses bad language and watches clean movies together. But if that's all there is - a checklist - then how are we more righteous than those Pharisees? What makes us different, and therefore a light on a hill, or on a lampstand?
If we say we don't need those outside denominational preachers and teachers or videos or books or Christian counselors in order to truly live the blessed yet difficult temporary life that Christ has called us to, because He did give us the saved written Word, then let's get out there and live it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But if you're interested, here's the page where you can listen for free to the talks given at that conference I mentioned: True Woman '08. I listened to Piper's talk this morning. If you feel I'm falling off track and need to be pulled back - PLEASE let me know.
15 August 2008
Singing at Midnight
Author: Joanne Beckley
Price: $8.00
Description:
Aging is a fact of life. But growing old doesn’t mean it’s time to shirk our responsibilities to God and stop the work in His kingdom. In LEARNING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT, author Joanne Beckley talks of this little written about, but important time in a woman’s life. In her study she discusses spiritual strength and wisdom that is gained through life’s experiences. Also discussed are the topics of society and aging, changes and adjustments we face after retirement, plus instruction on how to grow spiritually and the hindrances we will most likely encounter. LEARNING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT shows us that although we must grow older, we should be maturing in Christ. 12 chapters, 76 pages.
08 September 2007
Christian Ladies and Gentlemen are Old Fashioned
A study of 1 Peter 3 (See below for my thoughts and study)
L'Angelus, by Jean-Francois Millet
I find it quite interesting that the things which make a lady, or a gentleman, are the things which signify a follower of the Way of Christ, according to these Bible words. Think of it:
"subject to your own husbands" - she knows her role is not man's role; men and women are different
"they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct" - she doesn't need to nag or preach to get her point across, but behaves respectfully and keeps her behavior above suspicion
"Do not let your adorning be external..." - she doesn't dress so as to attract attention to her physical self, whether boldly or immodestly in any way
"let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit"- she focuses on presenting her inner self; she is calm and prepared so as not to be rattled, or lose her cool in any situation; she is confident in her life and her beliefs and so does not need to have a loud, controlling spirit
"which in God’s sight is very precious" - Being an "old fashioned lady", you see, is precious in God's sight. It does not save her and bring her to heaven, but it is the outward showing of something that is already in her heart.
"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves" - she looks to the old ways for her example
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way" - Like the ladies, the gentlemen of Christ are not harsh ogres, nor are they like egalitarian business partners, thinking of them as men. They think, and live their lives showing outwardly that which is in their hearts, as they treat their wives with respect.
"showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel" - he shows that he sees her value and her preciousness, treating her as a special creation that he does not want to "break", as a big, old rough man in a china shop might break a precious vase because of his unawareness
"they are heirs with you of the grace of life" - he doesn't look down on her service as servitude to him, but sees a spiritual oneness
"all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind" - Ladies and Gentlemen do not fight and argue but work together to find solutions that will benefit; they seek the good of others and not themselves only; they love others and treat them as dear family; they are not harsh and rude, but they refine their heart until it is tender and gentle; they are not proud and haughty as a "newly rich" person might ascribe to be, but rather bear their riches in Christ - the blessings, the grace, the love, the wisdom of God, the responsibilities - with meekness and humility, as a servant to all
"Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless" - their speech and behavior does not harm others just because harm has been done; they do not seek to slander others, but rather to encourage them, maybe even to lead them to a better way
"to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing" - Being "old fashioned" in speech and behavior is not what we were called to, was it? Then why does Peter point out that this lifestyle of blessing others is how or why we obtain blessing? It seems to me that this Godly lifestyle is exactly what God called us to. To live in such a way as to be a blessing to others - not merely to live for ourselves as the moderns might want to live.
One dear Lady pointed out to me that some of what I write about in this little blog is not really "old fashioned," but is "Godly living." This modern society may look at our old fashioned notions of femininity, service, meekness and humility and sneer, telling us that we will never get anything in this life living that way. But, oh, how much more we will get. And there was apparently a time, sometime in the "old" days, when many people, true Christian or not, saw the value of living this lifestyle of being a blessing by our manners, lifestyle, speech and behavior.
As David wrote to the Jewish nation, in Psalm 34:12-15,
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For
"Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
L'Angelus, by Jean-Francois Millet"subject to your own husbands" - she knows her role is not man's role; men and women are different
"they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct" - she doesn't need to nag or preach to get her point across, but behaves respectfully and keeps her behavior above suspicion
"Do not let your adorning be external..." - she doesn't dress so as to attract attention to her physical self, whether boldly or immodestly in any way
"let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit"- she focuses on presenting her inner self; she is calm and prepared so as not to be rattled, or lose her cool in any situation; she is confident in her life and her beliefs and so does not need to have a loud, controlling spirit
"which in God’s sight is very precious" - Being an "old fashioned lady", you see, is precious in God's sight. It does not save her and bring her to heaven, but it is the outward showing of something that is already in her heart.
"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves" - she looks to the old ways for her example
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way" - Like the ladies, the gentlemen of Christ are not harsh ogres, nor are they like egalitarian business partners, thinking of them as men. They think, and live their lives showing outwardly that which is in their hearts, as they treat their wives with respect.
"showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel" - he shows that he sees her value and her preciousness, treating her as a special creation that he does not want to "break", as a big, old rough man in a china shop might break a precious vase because of his unawareness
"they are heirs with you of the grace of life" - he doesn't look down on her service as servitude to him, but sees a spiritual oneness
"all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind" - Ladies and Gentlemen do not fight and argue but work together to find solutions that will benefit; they seek the good of others and not themselves only; they love others and treat them as dear family; they are not harsh and rude, but they refine their heart until it is tender and gentle; they are not proud and haughty as a "newly rich" person might ascribe to be, but rather bear their riches in Christ - the blessings, the grace, the love, the wisdom of God, the responsibilities - with meekness and humility, as a servant to all
"Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless" - their speech and behavior does not harm others just because harm has been done; they do not seek to slander others, but rather to encourage them, maybe even to lead them to a better way
"to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing" - Being "old fashioned" in speech and behavior is not what we were called to, was it? Then why does Peter point out that this lifestyle of blessing others is how or why we obtain blessing? It seems to me that this Godly lifestyle is exactly what God called us to. To live in such a way as to be a blessing to others - not merely to live for ourselves as the moderns might want to live.
One dear Lady pointed out to me that some of what I write about in this little blog is not really "old fashioned," but is "Godly living." This modern society may look at our old fashioned notions of femininity, service, meekness and humility and sneer, telling us that we will never get anything in this life living that way. But, oh, how much more we will get. And there was apparently a time, sometime in the "old" days, when many people, true Christian or not, saw the value of living this lifestyle of being a blessing by our manners, lifestyle, speech and behavior.
As David wrote to the Jewish nation, in Psalm 34:12-15,
I am seeking to be an "old fashioned lady", if these things are what it means. Not a frivolous "lady of leisure" as some women of old days wanted to be, but a true lady, by definition and spirit. And, apparently, by the design and will of God.What man is there who desires life
and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking deceit.
Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
13 August 2007
Remember Who You Are...
You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
By the very manner in which you speak,
By the way you employ your leisure time,
By the use you make of dollar and dime.
You tell what you are by the things you wear,
By the spirit in which you burdens bear,
By the kind of things at which you laugh,
By the records you play on the phonograph.
You tell what you are by the way you walk,
By the things of which you delight to talk,
By the manner in which you bear defeat,
By so simple a thing as how you eat.
By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:
In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.
--- Author Unknown
Figurine pictured, from Lladro Porcelain Figurines : "Someone to Look Up To"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. Philippians 2:14-15
21 July 2007
Three Teens Define “A Real Woman”
From a Biblical Christian point of view. Written by Philip Hainline, Heidi Reimer, and Maria Reimer at the respective ages of 16, 19, and 17. In The Rebelution.com. Please go to the website link for the entire article, and a link to a PDF file that you can download and print out.
As of today, there are 89 responses to this post at The Rebelution since February 1, 2006. I love old fashioned young men and women.
A real woman . . .A real woman . . .
…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)
…values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Proverbs 22:17-21, 2:2-6)
…realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)
…does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22)
…appreciates her father’s protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Ephesians 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2)
…is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Proverbs 31:11)
…restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Proverbs 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)
…encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29)
…does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others. (Judges 16:16, Proverbs 21:9, 19, 26:21)
…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)
A real woman . . .
…portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)…is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6)
…seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy. (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1)
…uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him. (Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11)
As of today, there are 89 responses to this post at The Rebelution since February 1, 2006. I love old fashioned young men and women.
27 June 2007
"Trusting God's Plan"
Over at Oneplace.com, I came across the "Revive Our Hearts" podcasts. I found some really good thoughts in today's lesson, "Trusting God's Plan", from the series for singles. Marriage is not the only place to present the pure, sweet heart of a lady. The discussion is about how a lady, specifically a sister in Christ, can view men, not as date-ables or no-ways; but as brothers. As men. It is important for us to remember them as part of our lives, and that we treat them as they deserve. We cannot expect that they will be just what we want when we want it - especially when as a lady we are trying to really live a peaceful life of trust. So be careful where you place your focus.
If you are a Christian lady, be God's girl first of all, then a man's. If you call on any higher power than men, trust that Power and Love first, devoting yourself to the true and good things first.
It has been my experience that a lady does not run around with no guidance in life but a grasping after dreams. Her walk is balanced, her eyes are straightforward, and there is a lovely smile on her lips, for she knows how to walk in grace.
If you are a Christian lady, be God's girl first of all, then a man's. If you call on any higher power than men, trust that Power and Love first, devoting yourself to the true and good things first.
It has been my experience that a lady does not run around with no guidance in life but a grasping after dreams. Her walk is balanced, her eyes are straightforward, and there is a lovely smile on her lips, for she knows how to walk in grace.
13 May 2007
A New Version of an Old Fashioned Proverb
A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!
Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. She is good to him every day of her life, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes.
She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants. She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, and she always works hard. She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night.
She spins her own cloth, and she helps the poor and the needy. Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows. She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful.
Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city.
She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners.
She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future. Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful. She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.
Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, "There are many good women, but you are the best!"
Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the LORD deserves to be praised.
Show her respect-- praise her in public for what she has done.
----------
Proverb 31:10-31, from the Contemporary English Version, via the Canadian Bible Society's daily reading email. Also, if you want a neat little study on this passage, check out "The Perfect Wife", an independant study I found online today.
Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. She is good to him every day of her life, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes.
She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants. She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, and she always works hard. She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night.
She spins her own cloth, and she helps the poor and the needy. Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows. She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful.
Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city.
She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners.
She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future. Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful. She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.
Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, "There are many good women, but you are the best!"
Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the LORD deserves to be praised.
Show her respect-- praise her in public for what she has done.
----------
Proverb 31:10-31, from the Contemporary English Version, via the Canadian Bible Society's daily reading email. Also, if you want a neat little study on this passage, check out "The Perfect Wife", an independant study I found online today.
09 April 2007
the "Southern Ladies" email, edited
I was born and reared up in Florida, and though some of the truisms about "Southern Ladies" don't apply to us Floridians, we sure do appreciate the ladies of the Old South, and all of this "southern-ness".
SOUTHERN WOMEN and "SOUTHERNESS"
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. (Not in Florida, as far as I know, but I suppose some people think it's cute when they hear the Old Southern drawl refer to one person as "y'all".)
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" .... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
SOUTHERN WOMEN and "SOUTHERNESS"
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. (Not in Florida, as far as I know, but I suppose some people think it's cute when they hear the Old Southern drawl refer to one person as "y'all".)
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" .... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
23 January 2007
A Commitment to Loveliness
I just skipped across this weblog, by a 26 year old Mama with a little baby, and thought it a sweet sentiment. We can be modest and chaste ladies without turning into old frumps, right? ;)
---------------------
From : My Commitment to Loveliness for January 21 - January 28...
* With the cold weather finally here, I will be sure to moisturize my skin (especially my face, hands, and elbows) each day this week.
* I will pack away all of the clothes that my sweet girl has outgrown ( I was able to weed them out last week but just piled the clothes onto the floor of the nursery.).
* I will drink lots of water (instead of lots of Pepsi)!
* I will plan a special date night for Husband to enjoy with me... it might even include a bottle of sparkling cider and a video rental! Hopefully Baby Bear will cooperate!
* Since I got my hair cut this past Friday, I will be sure to "do" it everyday... I will also wear makeup each day (even if I have no place to go).
-----------------
Here's part of my own "commitment to loveliness" this week:
*get and wear pretty sweaters instead of sweatshirts and old tops that don't fit anymore
*seriously work on those fingernails
*organize the girls' clothes in their room
*practice only speaking words that are encouraging - in an encouraging way!
*keep up with the "flylady" basics in the kitchen
---------------------
From : My Commitment to Loveliness for January 21 - January 28...
* With the cold weather finally here, I will be sure to moisturize my skin (especially my face, hands, and elbows) each day this week.
* I will pack away all of the clothes that my sweet girl has outgrown ( I was able to weed them out last week but just piled the clothes onto the floor of the nursery.).
* I will drink lots of water (instead of lots of Pepsi)!
* I will plan a special date night for Husband to enjoy with me... it might even include a bottle of sparkling cider and a video rental! Hopefully Baby Bear will cooperate!
* Since I got my hair cut this past Friday, I will be sure to "do" it everyday... I will also wear makeup each day (even if I have no place to go).
-----------------
Here's part of my own "commitment to loveliness" this week:
*get and wear pretty sweaters instead of sweatshirts and old tops that don't fit anymore
*seriously work on those fingernails
*organize the girls' clothes in their room
*practice only speaking words that are encouraging - in an encouraging way!
*keep up with the "flylady" basics in the kitchen
28 December 2006
I Love Young Old Fashioned People
Today, for your perusal and thought, I present a few websites that I have come across, which are by young people who seem to find those old fashioned ideals of modesty, purity, chivalry, and mutual respect for each other, to be attractive, and a life style that is worth living.
Go to The Rebelution to read the writings of and the responses by hundreds to two young men who realize that being real men and women in this modern society mean rebelling against the status quo, and usually in a polite and thoughtful way.
Also see Purity Girls, and it's brother site, Purity Guys, two websites devoted to the idea that Guys and Girls "committed to purity of heart, mind, and body...STILL EXIST."
Go to The Rebelution to read the writings of and the responses by hundreds to two young men who realize that being real men and women in this modern society mean rebelling against the status quo, and usually in a polite and thoughtful way.
Also see Purity Girls, and it's brother site, Purity Guys, two websites devoted to the idea that Guys and Girls "committed to purity of heart, mind, and body...STILL EXIST."
08 December 2006
Mrs. Claus is a Lady
MRS. SANTA CLAUS(Fulton / Harple / Steele)
George Melachrino & His Orch. - 1954
Nat King Cole - 1956
Who feeds the reindeer all their hay
Who wraps the gifts and packs the sleigh
Who's helping Santa every day
Mrs. Santa Claus
Who keeps his red suit looking nice
Who does he turn to for advice
Who gives the brownies all their spice
Mrs. Santa Claus
She pitter-patters all around the workshop
The whole year long
Amid the happy clatter of the workshop
She sings a very merry Christmas song
Who reads the notes from girls and boys
Turns in the order for their toys
Who fills every wondrous heart with joys
Mrs. Santa Claus
She pitter-patters all around the workshop
The whole year long
Amid the happy clatter of the workshop
She sings a very merry Christmas song
Who reads the notes from girls and boys
Turns in the order for their toys
Who fills every wondrous heart with joys
Mrs. Santa Claus
Mrs. Santa Claus
Photo from : www.ibsencostumes.com
27 November 2006
How shall they know us?
I have these thoughts running through my head, and I've posted this question on my personal blog too. Here's the post from my page:
"Perhaps you, or someone you know, can point me toward some scripture or studies on the idea of setting ourselves apart from the world visually. They will know we are Christians by our love, of course - what a stunning difference we can make by loving our enemies, and putting others above ourselves! My humble question is: are there physical things which will also set us apart - and should there be?
"I'm thinking about the Amish and Mennonite women (and the Muslim and Jewish women too in a way), who go ahead and dress and live differently from the world around them; seemingly first because they feel that God wants them to do these things which are different, but also to to honour their husband's position as given by God and to be modest, and as a by-product, others can see who is a Christian (or Muslim or Jewish) lady outwardly. I am thinking that men must also consider these things in his outward show of faith (long hair, style of dress, jewellery, etc.).
"Now it goes without saying that SOME women or men wear or do something just to be different, and they are not being modest in the full understanding of the word - they're being just as proud and immodest as the worldly, IMHO. Or maybe SOME are removing themselves from the world a bit early, in a way. What are your thoughts? Or do you know someone else who's had these thoughts that you could direct me to?"
I had some interesting and good comments - then more thoughts:
One part of my question is indeed about modesty in general - the covering up that everyone normally thinks of. Young women whom I've talked to think that if they dress modestly it means that they will be standing out in a crowd, and that would be "drawing attention" in another way. I have a hard time convincing them that they don't actually "stand out" or draw attention when dressing nicely and modestly among their barely dressed friends. I've gotten the old "do you want me to wear a long fur coat to the beach?" type comment several times til I just want to scream: "There are more types of clothing than just the two extremes of Brittany and Burka (the full muslim coverup)!!"
I also wanted to try to bring up the concept of "headcovering". According to Paul in 1 Cor. 11, it's more than just a show of submission during worship, but also in the general relationship to men and for modesty's sake (if you read the whole passage). If my heart is right and I am trying to please my God whom I love, and to be His girl before others whom I love, then I'm not going to try to "fit in" with my culture nearly as much as I'm going to try to "fit in" with His will, even if I have to be a little different. And I do think it's only a little different.
Here's one thought: If we see a lady wearing a certain kind of headcovering, the average person can say, "Oh, she's a Mennonite" (though there are many women who wear headcoverings who aren't Mennonite), or, "she's a Muslim" (I pick these because their unique headcovering styles seem very linked to these religious undestandings, but only in the strictest sects does the rest of their clothing necessary stand out as extremely different and attention-grabbing). In many parts of the world and in our countries, Jewish women also cover their hair in honour of God's will and due to modesty, without radically standing out in the rest of their modest dress. Now: Why? Do they do it "just to attract attention" as some might guess? Do they cover their heads "just to appear pious"? Perhaps some do. Do they cover their heads because it's what you do to prove that they are Amish, Mennonite, Jewish, Muslim, Sikh, etc...? Maybe some do. Do they wear a head covering just to make everyone else look bad? I doubt it, but let's just say that someone who is going out of their way to look different and draw criticism to themselves is only doing it to be mean to everyone else - I find that unlikely, but it's possible.
But what if they are covering their heads because after study and prayer and thought, and talking with their husband or elder believers whom they respect, they decide that it is proper to cover their heads - to show submission to God and men, for modesty's sake, to remind them of their own place in God's design? It may look like it is for one of those other reasons I listed above - but we can't know their hearts. We judge someone for dressing a little more modestly, for laying off of the makeup and jewelery, for wearing a headcovering - and looking very different from all the other ladies around them - and say that they're just drawing attention to themselves and I'm not so I'm okay.
But maybe I'm not okay. Maybe I'm living in a time just like Paul and Timothy were writing in, where women were forgetting their position with their dress styles and showing off their hair and body like the world around them, and forgetting their humility before God and others with their gold and braided hair and fine clothes. So many of us realize that modesty is important and that it's loving one another that really matters. So what does modesty and loving others really mean? And if I am to reflect Christ's light in every aspect of life, the physical reflecting the spiritual, then the way I dress everyday is a part of that.
"Perhaps you, or someone you know, can point me toward some scripture or studies on the idea of setting ourselves apart from the world visually. They will know we are Christians by our love, of course - what a stunning difference we can make by loving our enemies, and putting others above ourselves! My humble question is: are there physical things which will also set us apart - and should there be?
"I'm thinking about the Amish and Mennonite women (and the Muslim and Jewish women too in a way), who go ahead and dress and live differently from the world around them; seemingly first because they feel that God wants them to do these things which are different, but also to to honour their husband's position as given by God and to be modest, and as a by-product, others can see who is a Christian (or Muslim or Jewish) lady outwardly. I am thinking that men must also consider these things in his outward show of faith (long hair, style of dress, jewellery, etc.).
"Now it goes without saying that SOME women or men wear or do something just to be different, and they are not being modest in the full understanding of the word - they're being just as proud and immodest as the worldly, IMHO. Or maybe SOME are removing themselves from the world a bit early, in a way. What are your thoughts? Or do you know someone else who's had these thoughts that you could direct me to?"
I had some interesting and good comments - then more thoughts:
One part of my question is indeed about modesty in general - the covering up that everyone normally thinks of. Young women whom I've talked to think that if they dress modestly it means that they will be standing out in a crowd, and that would be "drawing attention" in another way. I have a hard time convincing them that they don't actually "stand out" or draw attention when dressing nicely and modestly among their barely dressed friends. I've gotten the old "do you want me to wear a long fur coat to the beach?" type comment several times til I just want to scream: "There are more types of clothing than just the two extremes of Brittany and Burka (the full muslim coverup)!!"
I also wanted to try to bring up the concept of "headcovering". According to Paul in 1 Cor. 11, it's more than just a show of submission during worship, but also in the general relationship to men and for modesty's sake (if you read the whole passage). If my heart is right and I am trying to please my God whom I love, and to be His girl before others whom I love, then I'm not going to try to "fit in" with my culture nearly as much as I'm going to try to "fit in" with His will, even if I have to be a little different. And I do think it's only a little different.
Here's one thought: If we see a lady wearing a certain kind of headcovering, the average person can say, "Oh, she's a Mennonite" (though there are many women who wear headcoverings who aren't Mennonite), or, "she's a Muslim" (I pick these because their unique headcovering styles seem very linked to these religious undestandings, but only in the strictest sects does the rest of their clothing necessary stand out as extremely different and attention-grabbing). In many parts of the world and in our countries, Jewish women also cover their hair in honour of God's will and due to modesty, without radically standing out in the rest of their modest dress. Now: Why? Do they do it "just to attract attention" as some might guess? Do they cover their heads "just to appear pious"? Perhaps some do. Do they cover their heads because it's what you do to prove that they are Amish, Mennonite, Jewish, Muslim, Sikh, etc...? Maybe some do. Do they wear a head covering just to make everyone else look bad? I doubt it, but let's just say that someone who is going out of their way to look different and draw criticism to themselves is only doing it to be mean to everyone else - I find that unlikely, but it's possible.
But what if they are covering their heads because after study and prayer and thought, and talking with their husband or elder believers whom they respect, they decide that it is proper to cover their heads - to show submission to God and men, for modesty's sake, to remind them of their own place in God's design? It may look like it is for one of those other reasons I listed above - but we can't know their hearts. We judge someone for dressing a little more modestly, for laying off of the makeup and jewelery, for wearing a headcovering - and looking very different from all the other ladies around them - and say that they're just drawing attention to themselves and I'm not so I'm okay.
But maybe I'm not okay. Maybe I'm living in a time just like Paul and Timothy were writing in, where women were forgetting their position with their dress styles and showing off their hair and body like the world around them, and forgetting their humility before God and others with their gold and braided hair and fine clothes. So many of us realize that modesty is important and that it's loving one another that really matters. So what does modesty and loving others really mean? And if I am to reflect Christ's light in every aspect of life, the physical reflecting the spiritual, then the way I dress everyday is a part of that.
20 November 2006
About "Ladies Against Feminism"
I found this a most wonderful website, dedicated to the proposition that I agree with. It must then, be good. :) Here's a bit of their "about" page. I have also added a link to their site on my list of links, so that you may peruse their website and read some of the information. Something to think about.
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Jun 14, 2003
This site is dedicated to the proposition that men and women are not identical creatures. Are we equal in human worth? Yes. Equal before the throne of grace? Absolutely. Equal in dignity? Indeed. But when it all boils down to it, if you insist that "equal" means exactly the same, you will have to fly in the face of biology, historical fact, biblical Truth and just plain common sense. In many ways, woman is not equal to man; and, by the same token, man is not equal to woman. They are different creatures with differing roles. Will we complement each other in our distinctive, God-given roles, or will we tear each other to shreds in a territorial dispute? LAF promotes the former. We are for maidenhood, modesty, virtue, intelligence, womanly arts and femininity. Join the new revolution!
....
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." - Phil. 4:8
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Jun 14, 2003
This site is dedicated to the proposition that men and women are not identical creatures. Are we equal in human worth? Yes. Equal before the throne of grace? Absolutely. Equal in dignity? Indeed. But when it all boils down to it, if you insist that "equal" means exactly the same, you will have to fly in the face of biology, historical fact, biblical Truth and just plain common sense. In many ways, woman is not equal to man; and, by the same token, man is not equal to woman. They are different creatures with differing roles. Will we complement each other in our distinctive, God-given roles, or will we tear each other to shreds in a territorial dispute? LAF promotes the former. We are for maidenhood, modesty, virtue, intelligence, womanly arts and femininity. Join the new revolution!
....
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." - Phil. 4:8
14 November 2006
About the Old Fashioned Lady
I'm starting this blog, because I want to all my stuff together - and since I am enjoying Gmail and Google search for now, I wanted to move my attempt to blog and research to the same server.
I have tried using the Zoomshare people, for a headcoverings blog and information portal, where I researched the use of the headcovering, head covering, head scarf, veil, hair covering, hat and etc. for women, and posted pictures, links and news articles that covered the issures about "Those Headcoverings". After a brief hiatus, I then went back to Angelfire, because I had used them for a family webpage a long time ago, and thought I would try their little blogger unit. Again, I wanted to include the links and recent news about headcoverings, and so I called it "Head Covered". Of course most news on the head coverings are about the Muslim population, for some reason, though there is as much confusion on the issue religiously and spiritually as for the Christian headcovering. And I want to be able to offer more permanent information and photos.
So now I am going to attempt a larger idea - that of feminity, which includes covering, as well as modesty and the ever elusive "inner beauty" which shines forth from a true Lady. Which most people consider "old fashioned", it seems. I think these areas are also all-religion inclusive, though personal interpretations will differ. For the most part, I believe that God created us women differently from the men, and we want to be modest, supportive, nurturing and beautiful - mostly, we want to be different from men because we were designed this way. As my best friend put it, "Ultimately what it comes down to is, you live. How you chose to live, ah, now there's the rub."
Incidentally, I was once "saved" from some harsh joking around that some women I was working with were doing, by an older gentleman who stopped and told them to watch what they were saying, because there was a lady present (referring to me). I suppose I've never forgotten that, and it has become a kind of vanity for me. Oh, well. I'm still working on it.
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