Modest Swimsuits for Young Ladies (and the rest of us), Anyone?

Question and ANSWERS, found in a Christian homeschool Facebook list:

"A little off topic, but I thought someone on here might be able to help. I am looking for a website that sells modest swimwear. All the ones that I have found either cater to Islamists or LDS or the swimsuits are made in a dress/skirt style. I'm looking more for something that is a shirt and short set to swim in for myself and my girls. Any ideas? Thanks!"

Here are the replies, with names removed for privacy. Some comments were removed because they didn't add to the discussion list, or simply repeated what someone else had already listed. I added hyperlinks for your ease of search. I also added lots of illustrations.

And if you're wondering, swim shirts are called "rash guards" because they protect the wearer from a rash caused by abrasions, usually of rubbing the chest against a surf board. But they are worn by a great number of other sports folks too, since they are light weight, breathable, quick drying, and durable. If you want to be a real stickler for grammar, a swim shirt is technically different because it's looser fitting than a rash guard.

All of the companies listed below were personal recommendations by individuals to a Facebook list. None of these sellers have compensated me for my time. Just so you know. 

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 I have a friend that buys the boys swim trunks for her daughter and then the rash guard top

example of shorts and "rash guard top" , from www.toysrus.com

I get my daugher's and mine from uvskinz.com. They are a little pricey but last for a long time.

photo from www.uvskinz.com

We do the same thing ... Buy a cheap 2-piece (for quick drying and easy bathroom visits), then buy a cute rash guard and boy swim shorts.

example of girls wearing shorts and rash guard suits, from www.platypusaustralia.com

We found some on Land's End website.

We too have used Landsend. We get the swim t-shirts and board shorts. It seems to work for my girls.

image from hydrochic.com

Hydrochic.com has many options for women. They are limited for girls wear.

swimsuitsforall.com
[swimsuits for all is a website for plus (read "normal") sized women, and many are somewhat-modest, though not the most modest that many modest dressing women are used to. For grown up girls, give it a perusal. -- OFL] 

Limericki.com is where I get all of mine.
[Lime Ricki Swimwear is also a website for more grown up girls, and has the same level of somewhat-modest that the most modest covering ladies may not be looking for. Definitely more modest than the average two piece. -- OFL]

We wear trunks, or board shorts, and rash guards.

Albionfit.com is really good too, and they have mommy & me styles
[Um, I didn't see any really modest suits here, and the poses of the little girls in bathing suits were a little ... disturbing, to me. If you're used to baby beauty pageants, check this one. I guess. -- OFL]

We also buy boy's board shorts and rash guards. We do wear a one piece under that.

example of board shorts and rash guard top, image from Space Coast Living Magazine 

If you search UV swimwear, it will bring up a number of companies that carry shorts& shirts. We've used coolibar, solartex, & tuga

image from Coolibar.com

image from Solartex.com

image from Tuga Sunwear

Last year I got board shorts from landsend.com and rash guards at swimoutlet.com, but I did see that lands end has rash guards now too.

We've done Lands end too. 

I just do board shorts to the knee and a dark rash shirt over a bathing suit.

I love this image of a whole modest bathing family posted to the blog "Calling Her Blessed" - click to read

Thanks so much for your fantastic suggestions. I will check them out.

Lands end is good, but my mom and I have custom swimsuits from Creations by Savannah (Facebook page and etsy store). Mine is a maternity/nursing top and skirt and my mom's is a swim dress.

modest maternity swimsuit, empire style, from Creations by Savannah

I just found this website too http://www.dressingforhisglory.com/

image of the girls swim body tee from Dressing For His Glory, also made in ladies' sizes

Look in the sports/work-out clothing area at Target. They have these really cute sets that are double layers. The top is a sports bra with an attached tank top that has a band at/below the waist level (this keeps it in place really well while diving/swimming etc.) The bottoms are the mesh kind of shorts...but they have an attached spandex type short underneath. I have used these for two years now. I just had to buy a bigger size for my current pregnant belly and it works GREAT! They still feel like swim wear because of the fabric. I love everything about them! Good luck!!

I couldn't find the sports/yoga top with attached sports bra on the Target.com website, but I did find a lot of references to the Target yoga clothes while searching. It may be worth your while to check the sports clothes section!

image of boys swim shorts and rash guard, from www.target.com 

I got my daughter a swim shirt and shorts at Walmart. Then got a cheap 2 piece to use for under.

I like hydrochic.com.

I got my daughter board shirts off amazon not short ones and a swim shirt too what age are u looking for? Gymboree had some cute modest ones too skirt was to the knee

Creations by Savannah

Did the leggings come with?

... yes. You tell her how long you want the shorts/leggings and how long you want the sleeves (can also be sleeveless). It is two pieces.

Nice to have these resources! I lucked out and found one I loved at a local bargain outlet, but we're still looking for something this year for my 11 year old. She's 5' 4", and on the solid side, so she needs adult sizes. She wants the rashguard type, so happy that she likes being covered up. I heard her polite disapproval over her friend's two piece, and it cracked me up.

I always put my kids in swim tshirts and long swimtrunks. I've never really seen a modest swimsuit

They are not cheap, but excellent quality.

You can have soft cups sewn in, but being large-chested we both just wear a bra under them. Mom says the dress does not float up above her waist at all.

When we have ladies swim nights at my friends house, I've seen others wearing guys swim shorts and those swim/surfer shirts.

womanwithin.com is good. Plus sizes a little pricey but they are doing a lot of deals for memorial weekend

We do one piece surf wetsuits 

My daughter and I do guy's swim trunks (even found a pink pair for her at old Navy last year) and swim shirts. I actually got myself a full blown rash guard that has long sleeves and the material has built in sun protection (got it from Athleta). I burn very easy and skin cancer runs in my family, so it was more for skin protection than modesty sake. I were a tankini top under it for support. I have gotten so many compliments from scantily clad teens, I cracks me up. 

I ordered from http://www.simply-modest.com/posecom/index.php a few years ago. It's held up very well at the beach, pool and tubing the white river in AR. I'm going to have to get another because I've gained so much weight the past few years...

image from Simply-Modest.com

Coolibar! They are pricey but very durable and modest.

Just one combination from Coolibar.com

We buy one piece suits, then buy the "rash guard" surfer type shirts at Walmart or target and then the jogging shorts that are the really light parachute type material that dries quickly. I usually find the shorts at jcpenney in the ladies athletic dept.

Kosher casual
[Kosher Casual has lots of cute modest clothes of all kinds, including workout clothing and accessories for layering and filling in gaps in less modest clothes styles. -- OFL]

Target sells those in a short with skirt overlay but come down upper thigh and a nice shirt style top.

I wear athletic capris & athletic tshirts to swim in (I have found them at Walmart and Target for pretty cheap). I prefer the darker colors so they are not see thru. I also like to buy them a little bit bigger so they fit loosely instead of skin tight.

C9 by Champion® Women's Mesh Capri Pants at Target.com

I have used Lands End for years; recently the selection and quality are a bit less desirable.

Academy always has swim shorts where we live. Have you tried there?

reyswimwear I haven't ordered one yet, but some of them are really cute.
[Rey Swimwear offers modest (old fashioned?) one piece and two piece outfits, in the classy style of Audrey Hepburn. Not necessarily shorts and rashers, but more modest than modern suits. - OFL]

from the kids section at Rey Swimwear

We personally have used Modestly Yours Swimwear http://www.modestlyyoursswimwear.com/. I have ordered from them 2 times and it's basically a custom made swimsuit. They are very friendly and the suits are incredibly well made.


I wear a swim skirt with attached leggings. I got it at undercoverwaterwear. Com. My daughter's wear solid color boy swim shorts and then we find girl swim shirts to Match. Usually find the best selection and price at Wal-Mart. ...they have some cute ones right now

http://www.landsend.com/...

I buy athletic tanks (quick-dry fabric) and wear soccer shorts. Target has a great section of Champion athletic wear. We have also found tennis tanks on sale.

I need to get something like the simply modest suits for my daughter. She generally wears boys swim trunks and a rash guard, but lately she is getting chafing on the inner thighs from the seams of the shorts. I wear below the knee athletic leggings with a tennis skort and a rash guard and a hat to help minimize sunburns.

nicoleeswimwear on etsy, does custom swimwear. Shirts and shorts, or swimdress/legging types. Here's a cute one for a little girl.http://www.etsy.com/.../girls-pre-made-polka-dot-tank...

image from NicoLeeSwimwear

Jennifer Comstock has an etsy shop with really cute modest swimwear. I think it may have been mentioned earlier. You can access it through her blog, www.swimmodest.blogspot.com. I highly recommend.

We have also used modestlyyoursswimwear.com for custom made modest tops and skirts. I've used other shorts with the tops as well.

We have bought from swimmodest.com in older agea and athletic body suits (one piece, tank on top and shorts close to knee on bottom) when girls were little.

image from http://www.swimmodest.com/

[Note that swimmodest.com and swimmodest.blogspot are two DIFFERENT websites. -- OFL]

If you have any additions you'd like to make, or if you are a seller and would like to compensate me for my time in putting this page together with links and photos, let me know in the comments below! :)

"The Truth About Prom"

"The Truth About Prom"

In, A Wordy Woman, read this personal story and testimony concerning attending The Prom. I recommend it.

Modest and Modest Fancy Dresses

It is still "fancy dress" month, and today's entry is going to be for links and ideas that are not quite the Disney Princess or Quinceañera ballgown. Not because those styles of dresses cannot be modest in a sexually pure way, but because I want to focus on both of the meanings of the word "modest" in this post.

Photo from Beautifully Modest

You see, some folks don't like the proms and balls and banquets because to dress up in fancy dresses or suits is to be too showy. Type in the word "modest" in your Google search bar and this is what you get:

mod·est  

/ˈmädəst/

 

Adjective

 

1. Unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities or achievements.
2. (of an amount, rate, or level of something) Relatively moderate, limited, or small.

Synonyms

 

humble - unassuming - unpretentious - lowly - moderate

Photo from Jen Clothing

Now, obviously, many women have used the idea of unassuming moderation to not show off their female bodies, which, obviously to most men, are quite beautiful and entrancing without all the trappings to show them off so much (yes, even you, who thinks you're not so lovely to look at). Showing off our shapeliness with tight or see through material, or showing off our softer skin by using less material in general - even if it is not the intent - is still showing off without modesty what we have been given or have developed through diet or exercise. And so "modest dresses" tends to mean not showing off our bodies: covering up shoulders and cleavage, thighs and knees, and for some, even calves, arms and necks.

But modesty ALSO means a more general just plain humbleness, that is, not showing off your beauty or wealth or beautiful clothing or jewelry or lovely hair. Think not? The apostle Peter, who spent a great deal of time with Jesus Christ while on earth, wrote:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:1-4

And the apostle, Paul, wrote in his letter to the young preacher, Timothy:

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.  1 Timothy 2:9-10

Photo from Great Lengths Clothing

This is not to say that there aren't occasions where you might want to put on wedding clothes or dressy clothes, because of a special occasion (usually dictated by the culture you are in, such as a Latin American community which puts greater importance on the 15th birthday, or a North American community that puts a great importance on a dinner celebrating the end of your high school or college years). So how far do you go in dressing up according to your culture, without losing your modesty, either in purity or in humility? It might be called "semi formal".

Check out "JenClothing" for Modest Prom Dresses to see what that might look like.  "Beautifully Modest" offers a Semi Formal selection as well. I recently found the online store with affordable modest formals: "Great Lengths Clothing". If these aren't quite the formal that you're looking for, I came across Kara Moss' Pinterest page of lovely modest prom dresses, which for the most part don't seem too over-the-top when it comes to showiness either. (Once again, I'm not getting paid to endorse these stores, and I haven't shopped there either; let the buyer be aware.)

Finding a modest formal gown - both modest for humbleness and modest for purity - is possible, but it will take time and some specific ideas. First of all, remember who you really are - inside - that you want others to see on the outside. You, not your dress or your hair style. Then have fun searching the internet, and don't miss perusing all the links to modest Wedding, Prom and other formal dress shops in the super wonderful and cross cultural and cross age groups "Modest Clothing Directory" (where you'll find lots more than just modest fancy dresses).

Fancy Dress Month - Going to The Prom? part 2

My last blog entry opened up the idea that going to the local prom (high school or secondary school fancy dress dance and banquet) is not the best choice for an old fashioned Christian young person. And if there is an alternative offered for a fancy dress banquet, alternatives also abound for modest fancy dresses.

Today's entry is simply a gathering of other writing on the subject of The Prom and the thoughts of those who are living their lives for Christ in relation to said Prom. For me personally, I saw no real reason to attend The Prom when I was in high school, other than that a Cute Boy asked me to go with him when I was only in 10th grade. I remember having to stop and reconsider going for a moment, though today, I cannot remember why I wanted to go to The Prom, except that I was so elated at being asked by this older boy! The next two years went by, and I had no trouble explaining to my friends that I just didn't want to go. Since they knew that I never attended any of the school dances either, there wasn't any conversation about it that I remember now. I don't regret not going, and as I remember, I did actually "stay home and wash my hair," as I told a few friends that I would do. I'm not sure that I would have attended a "Christian Prom Alternative" if there had been one, given the idea that I still would have had to spend money to buy a fancy dress and tickets, etc. I have always been rather a "hippie" or "flower child" born out of due season, and not really good at understanding these kind of events. More on that topic in a future post, perhaps.

1. "A Teenager's Answer To "Shall I Go To The Prom?", by Sherry Burgess, found in Truth Magazine. This article is the one mentioned in my last post's link, and was written by a young woman back in the 1980's. Things have not changed much, really. In this article, she shares all of the steps that she went to as she made her decision not to attend The Prom. She also wrote how she felt sad when at first she decided against going, but then, "In my prayer that night, I thanked the Lord for giving me the strength to say "no" . . . ."  Sherry is now happily married and has two wonderful children in college and one in high school, and her Christian life has been full of the wonder and magic that can never be found in a dance-and-banquet.

Purchase this plaque from Lasting Reminders.com

2. "Planning for a Pure Prom Night", By Erin Davis, found in Lies Young Women Believe. This article was written last year, and though she applauds girls who have decided to "swim upstream" and not attend, she writes this article for those who have decided that "It is possible to attend prom with your purity, modesty, and faith still intact." Is it? She lists 10 things that a young woman can do to help her to maintain her purity and still attend The Prom. As we cannot judge others' hearts or intents, we must therefore pray for those who choose to attend and try make a difference at the same time.

Ephesians 5:3 art from Wardrobe of Grace

3. "But It's The Prom!", by Steve Higginbothem, at PreachingHelp.org. This article talks about that difference between "dancing" and "Dancing" ("Not all dancing involves indecent dress, unchaste contact, or illicit movements. . . . The kind of dancing that God’s word condemns is the kind of dancing that stirs one to have impure thoughts, and act in impure ways."), and also lists several things that are associated with Prom in the area where he writes. The big question: "Do we really think that such actions will simply be pardoned or excused because, after all, “It’s the Prom.”"

1Peter 2:11 art from Christian Mingler

4. "Are You Going To Prom? - Lesson 11", found at VSCOC.com.  This is a short little lesson using scripture, including discussion questions and short answers, which could be used privately or in a class. It is a good summary of about all of the articles that you may find on Christians attending dances or Prom events, and includes a discussion of a passage in the book of Job that you may not usually think of when discussing dancing and whether or not there is too much preaching on the subject.

2 Timothy 2:22 artwork from Scent of Faith

5. "Is It Okay For Me To Go To The Prom?", found at Study the Bible. If the other studies are too long or studious, try this simple reply. Written like a short high school essay: "The question for the Christian young person should not be "Is it o.k. for me to go to the prom?". The question should be "Is it best for me to go to the prom?"."


6. "You're Not Going To Prom?",  by Allen Webster, at House to House. This article gives three main ways that you could answer the question (other than the simplistic answer that I gave when I was in school), with Bible words as your main purpose. And it has to do with avoiding sin, whether you hurt yourself, others, or your example.

photo found on tumblr

This last article ends by mentioning that alternatives to The Prom exist, and these next few links deal with doing Something Else, though these next few links are only indicators of the many alternatives available.

In Defense of Prom Alternative,  by Melissa at Christ Crossed my Heart. Melissa lists her reasons for not attending Prom, and positively, her reasons for doing Something Else. This group's plan was a lovely formal dinner, change clothes and go bowling after, then to someone's house to roast s'mores over a campfire. The boys and girls had separate sleepovers and rejoined for breakfast the next day. I love her response: "When all’s said and done, I had a wonderful evening. I grew closer to brothers and sisters in Christ, and I had a fantastic time doing so. I’m so thankful that someone had the idea to give us a special evening free of temptation or worldliness!"

Alternative to the Prom, by Mary at For Christian Girls. Here is a short description of another alternative that was offered in one area, where the kids had "good, clean fun" and enjoyed it. They had dinner at a dress fancy restaurant, strolled around town together and then went for ice cream.

Prim Proms: How Religious Teens Party, by Ellen Leventry at Belief.net. Interesting article that goes beyond conservative Christianity: "From same-sex dancing to modest gowns, conservative Muslim, Jewish and Christian teens are finding prom alternatives." We are not alone. Some of the alternatives list shopping nights, girls only or guys only nights, and senior class dinners.

I personally like the idea that the movie "Courageous" portrayed when the father of the teenaged girl took her out for a fancy dress meal on a "date" to show her how he wanted a man to treat her. (Link to the video clip of this scene at YouTube)

Actor Ken Bevel, portraying a dad in the movie "Courageous"

There's a lot to read and sort through there. No one's requiring you to read every bit, or to agree with every bit. I'm just hoping that some young woman, or young man, or parent, somewhere might stumble upon this list and find something good for their minds to think about for a while.

Philippians 4:8 artwork found at Little Birdie Blessings

Going to the Prom or Modest Banquet?

Had my attention drawn to this article that was written last year about The Prom. Isn't it interesting that after all these years, The Prom is still a big issue with many young people and their old fashioned (or newly old fashioned) parents?


"Considerations Before Going to the Prom or Dancing | Godly Youth"

I got a bright idea. I thought I'd put together a listing of modest banquet style dresses for those young ladies that want to still have a special night of some kind and yet they don't believe that they can find anything modest to wear, because there isn't anything at the mall or the local bridal shop. Then I kept thinking...

Okay, so April is now fancy dress month. Here's your first and most popular "modest banquet dresses" websites, according to my most recent Google search, along with some photos, for ideas. Oh, and as always, this is a personal search and post, and I'm not getting paid for these free advertisements for the online stores. Unless they'd like to contact me... ;)

. . . And The Most Popular "Modest Banquet Dresses" Website According to Google Search Is:

Simple Bolero Pattern

Easy Prom Dress Pattern

ModestProm.com --   The all comprehensive site that includes tabs for buying (websites and physical stores in the United States), budgeting, bolero-ing and shrug-ing (patterns for coverups to make and wear over top of immodest tops), altering, sewing (fairly simple patterns), fitting and flattering, and fixing up. There's a link to Modest Prom Rentals (Store in Mapleton, Utah), and Modest Dress Rentals Online (for those not in Utah). The article on budgeting is very smart. "Finding affordable prom dresses is largely a matter of planning ahead and being creative." Alteration tips and patterns include ideas for lengthening and shortening of dresses, adding "fill-ins" for spaghetti straps or strapless dresses, and even attaching short sleeves. Links on the home page include sites that are LDS (Latter Day Saints) "temple friendly", if I can use that phrase. I have seen it used for years to describe modest wedding gowns, because though there are no specific rules about what can be worn in the temple, modest dress is emphasized, and shoulders and cleavage and thighs and backs should always be covered (this knowledge is from what I've read here and there; I'm not Mormon, but I do appreciate the emphasis on appearance, as the outside not only reflects the inside, but also is often the only thing that others will see).

"Fill In" for a strapless gown

If you don't use ModestProm for purchase or pattern, at least prayerfully peruse it for your own thoughts and ideas. According to the blog entry at Modest Dress Rentals Online: "Owner Chris Hash has been helping young ladies find or create modest prom dresses for many years via her web site ModestProm.com. Several years ago, she opened an in-home rental shop which offers exclusively modest dresses for rent, ModestPromRentals.com. The shop services the central Utah area." Congratulations on your well-organized, needful and welcome website, Chris Hash.

Dresses from Modest Dress Rentals Online

7 Things We Must Tell Our Daughters

"Raising Daughters in a World That Devalues Them: 7 Things We Must Tell Them — We are THAT Family"

If you haven't read the latest article that's burning up the facebook shares, you must read this. Don't miss the link to the follow up article which lists a ton of resources to help you as a parent or as a young woman.

Addressing Biblical Femininity and Modesty With Our Daughters

I really appreciate the frankness of this article. The why, when and how are all addressed, and in a calm manner too. I like the simple summary of femininity according to scripture as well. Well done, Headmistress.  Click:
"Addressing Biblical Femininity and Modesty With Our Daughters"

"What Girls Need to Know"

Click to read:

What Girls Need to Know | The Common Room

Wow - fall means "snuggle weather" for a lot of people. We all need to be aware of things like this lady points out in her list here. Not everyone is exactly the same, with the same level of hormones, or social upbringing or social pressure.

What do you think of this list as general guidelines though? Have you discussed these things in ANY way with your "main squeeze"? You (and they) may be surprised that "snuggling" means something a little different from each other, or from what you expected. Just something to think about and be aware of.

Cultural Clothing

Cultural question : why is it that women seem tend to hang on to traditional clothing when they move to a new area much more so than men?

Illustration: today driving through the Tibetan Cultural Center area in our area, where the Dalai Lama is making a visit, and women are wearing beautiful dresses and colors; men are wearing western style suits. Every day I see South Asian women (Hindi, Sikh and Muslim) in traditional modest flowing dress and their men in ... western style pants and a button up shirt. Chinese lady friends wear Chinese fashions; men wear western. West Indies ladies and African ladies wear lots of colors, and sometimes their men do too. Hmm. Maybe it's easier for the men to switch because our western woman's styles are just not modest or dressy enough? I wonder if someone has figured out a way for their university to arrange a paid study into this phenomenon.)

photo 1: from Canada.com
photo "portrait... Indian couple": from 123rf.com stock photos
photo "Tibetans": from agnt.org
photo "Sikh family": from Sikh farmers of California (note - realize that keeping long hair, and keeping it tidy and clean, requires a turban of some sort by the Sikh gentlemen, even as they switch to Western suits)
photo 5: from Xsightn Fotografi

Lagom: or, It's Good to be Swedish

I'm not sure if there's any Viking blood in my mixed earthly heritage, but a recent face book test confirms:

"Michelle completed the quiz "THE INNER NATIONALITY QUIZ: WHAT ARE YOU REALLY?" with the result: You are Swedish.
You are friendly, gentle, and modest, with a good heart and a lusty nature. You laugh easily, have a well-developed sense of irony, and tend to understand people intuitively. You are interested in new people, but will always maintain notions of insider vs. outsider, and this will lead you to commit to a group of friends and lovers who will be with you your entire life. If you have a weakness it's your timidity -- you feel pressure to remain 'lagom' -- on an even par with others. But this is also your strength."

Not being familiar with the term "lagom", but always interested in new words, concepts and people (as the results here point out), I looked it up. Wikipedia reports:

"Lagom is a Swedish word with no direct English equivalent, meaning "just the right amount".

"The Lexin Swedish-English dictionary defines lagom as "enough, sufficient, adequate, just right". Lagom is also widely translated as "in moderation", "in balance", "optimal", "suitable", and "average". But whereas words like "sufficient" and "average" suggest some degree of abstinence, scarcity, or failure, lagom carries the connotation of perfection or appropriateness."

"Hmm," I said. "That sounds just about right."

The Bible says:

"[G]ive me neither poverty nor riches. But give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." (Proverbs 30:8-9)

“This, then, is how you should pray ... Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:9, 11).

“But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6)

It is not the concept of holding back or denying oneself, or of putting up with or learning to live with your circumstances; but the practice of being perfect, content, fulfilled, just right.

The little quiz makes it look like seeking "lagom" is a kind of timidity - a seeking to be at par with others so as not to rock the boat. But it's off the mark there. "Lagom" appears to me to be a kind of modesty - a seeking not to put oneself above others while not lowering ones self to living lazily. And doesn't the Bible also teach us not to "lord it over" others, to humble ones self to the point of servanthood, and also to keep pressing on, to "live up to what we have attained"?

Jesus taught us to "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Matthew 7:13-14)

Read the whole of 1 Timothy 6, and notice what Paul writes: "there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. . . .

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. ... " (1 Timothy 6:6-9, 11-12) (ESV)

The Swedish quiz also said, "You are friendly, gentle, and modest, with a good heart and a lusty nature." (This is me - a "to the pure..." person - so I define "lusty" nature along with the common definition: "Full of vigor or vitality; robust. Powerful; strong".) I looked back at 1 Timothy 6 and said, "Hmmm." "Pursue ... love, ... gentleness. Fight the good fight ..." The quiz had mentioned a small "insider" group whom you will be with all through your life. Ya, the Bible talks about that too. So I applied my own meaning to their human words in my little Bible meditation today, and I came out Swedish.

And like I said, it sounds just about right. As the Swedish might say: "Det är [It is] lagom."

As Paul said, "Grace be with you all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo above is of Ingrid Bergman, a lovely lady born in Stockholm, Sweden, who lived during the days of the old classic black and white movies.

Fashion, Tznius and Modesty, and Royalty

Being an old fashioned lady, I sometimes find myself surrounded with tasks of the "here and now", with little time taken for future planning. That is a subject unto itself, which I am working on, as I suppose many other women must also work on daily: how to balance all of these immediate calls with the calls to be ready for things to come.

However, I have come back to post an article that I found so interesting and helpful and encouraging for those ladies who desire to dress respectfully, modestly and beautifully. "The Fashion Conundrum: Does Being Fashionable Clash with being Tznius?", an article from "Bargain Jewess" at wordpress, enunciates so many of the thoughts that all modest, lovely ladies have had while figuring out what to wear. Do we dress frumpy? Wearing a sack dress and hiding our bodies as if we are ashamed? Aren't we to dress so that you can tell that we're women? Young women hear the term "modest dress" and immediately assume that we mean only prairie dresses from the last century or two, or even Middle Eastern garb pictured in our illustrated Bibles, and in the news. But is there truly a "happy medium?" Can we be modest and fashionable, and if so, why would we want to be? Doesn't being attractively attired draw attention to us and therefore contradict being modest, or in Jewish terms, tznius?

Some of this writer's opinion is stated thus:

A Jewish woman is considered a princess in Hebrew, a bas melech. The daughter of a king would only be kitted in the finest of fashions and of course would set the fashion tone for the entire country. She of course would never be dressed in any way that would disrespect her father the king but she certainly would always be expected to look more beautiful and put together than anyone else in the kingdom. The same goes true for the Jewish princess.

I honestly feel that an orthodox Jewish women should always be as fashionable and as classy as possible. There are many ways to look fantastic without baring it all. In general the women I find the most elegant are those who choose to cover it up rather than let it all hang out. Obviously just because you wear a skirt doesn’t mean that you are classy, or elegant I have seen many pants that are more modest that certain skirts. I’m also not here to get into debates on pants, short sleeves, how you cover your hair or any of that sort thing, in my opinion each person must do what they feel comfortable doing and it is between them and God.

Yet I think that each Jewish woman and all women should think of themselves as a princess and therefore there is nothing wrong with wearing stylish fashionable clothes so long as they aren’t thigh high and cut down to the belly button. I think that if you dress stylishly but elegantly you are still tzanua and in no way breaking any tznius code. I think that when people tell you otherwise they are steering you away from looking and feeling your best.

As a princess, there are certainly some ways to dress and behave, because, as we all know, no matter how modest a royal may be, they will "stand out" in a crowd. Let us all hope to stand out with dignity, modesty, respect for our Father. There will be places where we must "draw the line," and in truth, those who are seeing things through spiritual eyes will be able to find where that line is for them and those with whom they come in contact. Obviously, this will be different for each lady, each family, each community, and even among various cultures. But there is one over-riding standard: that which is put forward by the One who designed us to be lovely, and chaste, and helpful (not destructive) to those around us, and especially our husbands.

1 Peter 3: ¹Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ²when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ³ Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Don't let your "adorning" - the thing that makes you beautiful and attractive to others who see you - be an external style of fashion. But let your behaviour - which includes your words and how your dress and how you receive others, showing the True Light reflected through your behaviour - adorn you as a holy woman who hopes in God, a daughter of Sarah, the Princess and wife of Abraham.

The author of the above article concludes: "I think that it’s important to remember ... that tznius and fashion forward can go hand in hand, and not only not be polar opposites, but heighten the honor and grace of the Jewish woman." I think that perhaps modesty and respectful fashion can heighten the honor and grace of us all, to the glory of God.

Modesty in Fitness

I wrote a letter to the author of this article: "Swimming in Modesty", in newsobserver.com. I wrote it after I read the article and the comments which followed. Those of you who are "old fashioned ladies" probably agree: women who are modest are so often looked at as strange, or even "evil" religious leaders who are taking their followers to some horrible end. At least it seems that way. And if that lady is modest AND Muslim, she must be a "wacko" that needs to be sneered at, put down, laughed at, discouraged from her modesty, and pointed out to others that she's trying to take over the world with her religion - just because she desires to dress and behave modestly.

How did this come to be the way of looking at modest women in our "Christian" nation? We Christian ladies and our gentlemen preferred to simply step back and just not swim or participate in sports, because it's just not modest in this day, as far as dress goes. Why didn't our girls and boys who wanted to participate in sports and swimming just wear something more modest anyway, as many girls in the last Olympics did, in spite of the near nudity of all around? And further yet, why didn't we all continue with separated men and women times in public pools and fitness zones? Why did we cave in and allow all of these places to become centers of immodest behavior and dress, when we all know that physical fitness is a good thing? So many of our young ladies are taken in and decide that modest apparel is not important after all. Especially where sports and swimming are concerned. Oh, and weddings and proms. And around the house. And when you're just shopping... do you see how it just keeps on going? What's next - immodest dress and behavior during worship times with other Christians? Yes. That's what came.

Here is what I wrote:

I follow articles like this one from time to time, and I am so glad that you reported it as you did. Readers - even those who still didn't get it after reading the article - have at least been made aware that this is a modesty issue, and not one of religious segregation. I personally am sad that my Christian friends never pushed for things like this - rather, we assimilated with the immodest world, and some are even made to feel like an "outsider" or "weird" for wanting to wear an over sized t-shirt over swim clothes, or for declining mixed swimming parties. Why didn't we modest Christians get together and find a "women's only" time in the pool? I know that some places this actually has happened - there are women's- and men's-only times in public fitness and swimming areas in the US and Canada - and it is not a "religious" issue, but one of modesty and propriety. Why the world cannot see and respect the wishes of this group is beyond me. But, regardless, articles like this which explain the concept of modesty, and attempt to educate the public at large with this "old fashioned" moral concept, is a good thing. If only there had been a more notable reference in the article to other "women's only" places in the country (your state, even) that are not Muslim oriented, perhaps the focus on the Muslim community and the idea that this is a movement of religious separation could have been understood a little more. But all in all, a better handled article than some short little articles on these kinds of things happening in other places, where it truly comes across as religious separation, and not just a modesty issue.

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So, what should we as modest Christian ladies do? We could do as we seem to have done for a long time - just keep our young women from all athletics and swimming because those areas have been "taken over" by the worldly. Oh, how many physically out of shape Christian girls there are. "She strengthens her arms for the times to come..."

We could do as some Christian women have done, and create our own lines of modest swim wear and exercise clothing. They exist. Check my label below for all the articles I have on modesty, and I think you'll find a few places that you can go to find examples of modest fitness clothing (and formal wear too). "Whatever you do, do as unto the Lord."

And as far as dressing modestly in the midst of scores of immodestly dressed men and women, we could go to the management and ask for private times. We ask for it as a religious thing, or we could ask as a matter of modesty and propriety. I think if we look around and ask, we'll find a lot of other people who would like to be modest in these places, but either don't go, or go and give in to immodesty. We need to find each other and encourage one another.

Isn't physical fitness a part of your "new year resolution"? Even if it isn't, it should be a daily part of your day - to take care of that precious and fragile physical body that the Lord has given you.

Sun Protection is Modest

OK - not that the act of protecting oneself from the sun is a modest act, but it uses the same type of clothing. Check out this site I just came across: www.Coolibar.com - specializing in sun protective clothing and accessories, for men, women and children. They're having an end of summer sale.

You might think that the "burqini" was a silly idea. Or some of those modest suits that Christian ladies make and sell online (like wholesomewear.com or modest-swimwear.com) too. But these suit styles are also sold and worn by non-Christian and non-religious people, to care for their bodies. Maybe we need to get over our preconceived ideas about what we can bike, walk, work out, garden or swim in.

You might think that this site is "too expensive". Not everyone shops at the Goodwill only, and will find these prices reasonable. If you do - like I do - shop mostly at resale stores, you might not get to buy one of these for a while. I wonder if a really active outdoorsman or woman would consider something like this a good investment, like purchasing a good quality pair of shoes. "You just can't skimp on your health" (grin).

I don't work for these guys and they're not paying me. (If they would just give me some free samples...) Just wanted you all to be aware of what's out there.

They even have swimming skirts. :)

Modest is Beautiful

I found this editorial comment recently, and thought it important to pass on to those who are striving to be more modest and lady-like, but who might get confused with that personal desire to still remain physically beautiful. You can do it. I found the simple wording in this letter well put.

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"Modest and beautiful"
from Canada.com, Friday, May 30, 2008

Re: "A contradiction?" (Letters, May 29).

First, on the basis of absolutely nothing, Ken Shore equates modesty with a desire to be unattractive. It's an untenable link. Just as it's possible to be both modest and attractive (e.g. my wife in a business suit), it's equally possible to be both immodest and unattractive (e.g. me in a Speedo). [emphasis mine, LisaM]

But then from this flimsy perch, Shore leaps to the absurd conclusion that a woman he saw wearing both lipstick and a hijab was forced to wear the latter (but not the former). Surely it's equally possible she was just trying to be like my wife: modest and attractive. Or is Shore suggesting that a woman must be immodest to be attractive?

It's possible Shore possesses an impeccably logical mind, but in this case,it appears to have been impeded by his clear antipathy toward those who don't share his secular principles.

Aidan Murphy

Ottawa

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I have not posted to this blog lately, and hope to continue to make available links and thoughts from others to encourage you - and me - to continuing in "old fashioned lady-likeness". Thanks to those of you who have continued to read my blog and the links from here, and have let me know. I am glad to know that this blog has been an encouragement to you on your way.

Because of the number of articles and blog entries that I was coming across concerning the subject of head coverings, from secular and spiritual points of view, I started another blog, at blogspot, called "Those Headcoverings". If you are so inclined, I would appreciate your stopping by to the blog, or the website of the same name that I had put together when doing research for myself concerning this topic of head covering. Leave me a note there or send an email to let me know what you think. Or send a link that you think I might find interesting. Thank you again for your encouragement.

~ LisaM