Modest Swimsuits for Young Ladies (and the rest of us), Anyone?

Question and ANSWERS, found in a Christian homeschool Facebook list:

"A little off topic, but I thought someone on here might be able to help. I am looking for a website that sells modest swimwear. All the ones that I have found either cater to Islamists or LDS or the swimsuits are made in a dress/skirt style. I'm looking more for something that is a shirt and short set to swim in for myself and my girls. Any ideas? Thanks!"

Here are the replies, with names removed for privacy. Some comments were removed because they didn't add to the discussion list, or simply repeated what someone else had already listed. I added hyperlinks for your ease of search. I also added lots of illustrations.

And if you're wondering, swim shirts are called "rash guards" because they protect the wearer from a rash caused by abrasions, usually of rubbing the chest against a surf board. But they are worn by a great number of other sports folks too, since they are light weight, breathable, quick drying, and durable. If you want to be a real stickler for grammar, a swim shirt is technically different because it's looser fitting than a rash guard.

All of the companies listed below were personal recommendations by individuals to a Facebook list. None of these sellers have compensated me for my time. Just so you know. 

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 I have a friend that buys the boys swim trunks for her daughter and then the rash guard top

example of shorts and "rash guard top" , from www.toysrus.com

I get my daugher's and mine from uvskinz.com. They are a little pricey but last for a long time.

photo from www.uvskinz.com

We do the same thing ... Buy a cheap 2-piece (for quick drying and easy bathroom visits), then buy a cute rash guard and boy swim shorts.

example of girls wearing shorts and rash guard suits, from www.platypusaustralia.com

We found some on Land's End website.

We too have used Landsend. We get the swim t-shirts and board shorts. It seems to work for my girls.

image from hydrochic.com

Hydrochic.com has many options for women. They are limited for girls wear.

swimsuitsforall.com
[swimsuits for all is a website for plus (read "normal") sized women, and many are somewhat-modest, though not the most modest that many modest dressing women are used to. For grown up girls, give it a perusal. -- OFL] 

Limericki.com is where I get all of mine.
[Lime Ricki Swimwear is also a website for more grown up girls, and has the same level of somewhat-modest that the most modest covering ladies may not be looking for. Definitely more modest than the average two piece. -- OFL]

We wear trunks, or board shorts, and rash guards.

Albionfit.com is really good too, and they have mommy & me styles
[Um, I didn't see any really modest suits here, and the poses of the little girls in bathing suits were a little ... disturbing, to me. If you're used to baby beauty pageants, check this one. I guess. -- OFL]

We also buy boy's board shorts and rash guards. We do wear a one piece under that.

example of board shorts and rash guard top, image from Space Coast Living Magazine 

If you search UV swimwear, it will bring up a number of companies that carry shorts& shirts. We've used coolibar, solartex, & tuga

image from Coolibar.com

image from Solartex.com

image from Tuga Sunwear

Last year I got board shorts from landsend.com and rash guards at swimoutlet.com, but I did see that lands end has rash guards now too.

We've done Lands end too. 

I just do board shorts to the knee and a dark rash shirt over a bathing suit.

I love this image of a whole modest bathing family posted to the blog "Calling Her Blessed" - click to read

Thanks so much for your fantastic suggestions. I will check them out.

Lands end is good, but my mom and I have custom swimsuits from Creations by Savannah (Facebook page and etsy store). Mine is a maternity/nursing top and skirt and my mom's is a swim dress.

modest maternity swimsuit, empire style, from Creations by Savannah

I just found this website too http://www.dressingforhisglory.com/

image of the girls swim body tee from Dressing For His Glory, also made in ladies' sizes

Look in the sports/work-out clothing area at Target. They have these really cute sets that are double layers. The top is a sports bra with an attached tank top that has a band at/below the waist level (this keeps it in place really well while diving/swimming etc.) The bottoms are the mesh kind of shorts...but they have an attached spandex type short underneath. I have used these for two years now. I just had to buy a bigger size for my current pregnant belly and it works GREAT! They still feel like swim wear because of the fabric. I love everything about them! Good luck!!

I couldn't find the sports/yoga top with attached sports bra on the Target.com website, but I did find a lot of references to the Target yoga clothes while searching. It may be worth your while to check the sports clothes section!

image of boys swim shorts and rash guard, from www.target.com 

I got my daughter a swim shirt and shorts at Walmart. Then got a cheap 2 piece to use for under.

I like hydrochic.com.

I got my daughter board shirts off amazon not short ones and a swim shirt too what age are u looking for? Gymboree had some cute modest ones too skirt was to the knee

Creations by Savannah

Did the leggings come with?

... yes. You tell her how long you want the shorts/leggings and how long you want the sleeves (can also be sleeveless). It is two pieces.

Nice to have these resources! I lucked out and found one I loved at a local bargain outlet, but we're still looking for something this year for my 11 year old. She's 5' 4", and on the solid side, so she needs adult sizes. She wants the rashguard type, so happy that she likes being covered up. I heard her polite disapproval over her friend's two piece, and it cracked me up.

I always put my kids in swim tshirts and long swimtrunks. I've never really seen a modest swimsuit

They are not cheap, but excellent quality.

You can have soft cups sewn in, but being large-chested we both just wear a bra under them. Mom says the dress does not float up above her waist at all.

When we have ladies swim nights at my friends house, I've seen others wearing guys swim shorts and those swim/surfer shirts.

womanwithin.com is good. Plus sizes a little pricey but they are doing a lot of deals for memorial weekend

We do one piece surf wetsuits 

My daughter and I do guy's swim trunks (even found a pink pair for her at old Navy last year) and swim shirts. I actually got myself a full blown rash guard that has long sleeves and the material has built in sun protection (got it from Athleta). I burn very easy and skin cancer runs in my family, so it was more for skin protection than modesty sake. I were a tankini top under it for support. I have gotten so many compliments from scantily clad teens, I cracks me up. 

I ordered from http://www.simply-modest.com/posecom/index.php a few years ago. It's held up very well at the beach, pool and tubing the white river in AR. I'm going to have to get another because I've gained so much weight the past few years...

image from Simply-Modest.com

Coolibar! They are pricey but very durable and modest.

Just one combination from Coolibar.com

We buy one piece suits, then buy the "rash guard" surfer type shirts at Walmart or target and then the jogging shorts that are the really light parachute type material that dries quickly. I usually find the shorts at jcpenney in the ladies athletic dept.

Kosher casual
[Kosher Casual has lots of cute modest clothes of all kinds, including workout clothing and accessories for layering and filling in gaps in less modest clothes styles. -- OFL]

Target sells those in a short with skirt overlay but come down upper thigh and a nice shirt style top.

I wear athletic capris & athletic tshirts to swim in (I have found them at Walmart and Target for pretty cheap). I prefer the darker colors so they are not see thru. I also like to buy them a little bit bigger so they fit loosely instead of skin tight.

C9 by Champion® Women's Mesh Capri Pants at Target.com

I have used Lands End for years; recently the selection and quality are a bit less desirable.

Academy always has swim shorts where we live. Have you tried there?

reyswimwear I haven't ordered one yet, but some of them are really cute.
[Rey Swimwear offers modest (old fashioned?) one piece and two piece outfits, in the classy style of Audrey Hepburn. Not necessarily shorts and rashers, but more modest than modern suits. - OFL]

from the kids section at Rey Swimwear

We personally have used Modestly Yours Swimwear http://www.modestlyyoursswimwear.com/. I have ordered from them 2 times and it's basically a custom made swimsuit. They are very friendly and the suits are incredibly well made.


I wear a swim skirt with attached leggings. I got it at undercoverwaterwear. Com. My daughter's wear solid color boy swim shorts and then we find girl swim shirts to Match. Usually find the best selection and price at Wal-Mart. ...they have some cute ones right now

http://www.landsend.com/...

I buy athletic tanks (quick-dry fabric) and wear soccer shorts. Target has a great section of Champion athletic wear. We have also found tennis tanks on sale.

I need to get something like the simply modest suits for my daughter. She generally wears boys swim trunks and a rash guard, but lately she is getting chafing on the inner thighs from the seams of the shorts. I wear below the knee athletic leggings with a tennis skort and a rash guard and a hat to help minimize sunburns.

nicoleeswimwear on etsy, does custom swimwear. Shirts and shorts, or swimdress/legging types. Here's a cute one for a little girl.http://www.etsy.com/.../girls-pre-made-polka-dot-tank...

image from NicoLeeSwimwear

Jennifer Comstock has an etsy shop with really cute modest swimwear. I think it may have been mentioned earlier. You can access it through her blog, www.swimmodest.blogspot.com. I highly recommend.

We have also used modestlyyoursswimwear.com for custom made modest tops and skirts. I've used other shorts with the tops as well.

We have bought from swimmodest.com in older agea and athletic body suits (one piece, tank on top and shorts close to knee on bottom) when girls were little.

image from http://www.swimmodest.com/

[Note that swimmodest.com and swimmodest.blogspot are two DIFFERENT websites. -- OFL]

If you have any additions you'd like to make, or if you are a seller and would like to compensate me for my time in putting this page together with links and photos, let me know in the comments below! :)

Parents' Responsibility Regarding The Prom

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Children are a blessing. They bring us joy . . . hope . . . love . . . strength . . . help . . . respect . . . and they gift us with responsibility, which is a blessing. With these beautiful children in our lives - whether or not the children are living in your home with you - you have the desire to protect them, to guide them, to help them, and these responsibilities are not heavy; they're our children.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The Law from Moses includes these commands from the Father Himself. We are instructed "you shall..." - no mere suggestion - to teach them, to train them, to live the life that we are supposed to live in every step we take so that they learn from us whatever we do. Why wouldn't we want to?

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

These laws from the apostle Paul, given to him from the Lord, also instruct fathers to train their children in a way that they will learn the Truth, not in spite of our rudeness, but because we don't bring them up instilling in them a sense of rebellion and a desire to break away.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Children are not let "off the hook" of responsibility. This is no mere suggestion that children should learn from their parents or their elders, and this is repeated both in the Law of Moses, the Proverbs, and in the Law of Christ. But children cannot learn if they are not taught. If you do not teach them, train them, discipline them - even when they are older and almost ready to live on their own - they will look for instruction and example and inferences on how to live from elsewhere. But who knows if perhaps you were made a parent for such a time as this?

The question should not be placed entirely on the child or young adult who is trying to follow God's will, because "they should know by now". As mature adults, we have a responsibility to help the young and the weak to take more careful steps. Are we encouraging our young people, new believers, even our own peers, to walk carefully so as not to slip and fall, or to trip up someone else? Or are we letting them struggle along on their own?

Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. (Galatians 6:1, New American Standard Bible)

The questions of The Prom - though the answers should be explained to our near-adult children - are questions for parents, grandparents, older friends and neighbors.

Should we leave it up to our children to make their own decisions, or even encourage them to go, because everyone else is going, or because you did when you were young, or because they might "regret" not going, or because it's just the thing to do? Are these good reasons for doing anything?

Should we, as the money makers, design and promote our own proms, or prom alternatives, or quinceaneras and sweet 16 parties, like the cotillions and coming out parties of older generations?

Should we even encourage the lifestyle of attending formal dances and fancy dress banquets, in order to spend money on ourselves for the achievement of an age bracket, or a grade level in school, or just because it's fun, or because we want to do what everyone else is doing but do it safely?

Now, I do realize that I may "go too far". I know that Prom and its look-alikes are cultural "rites of passage" that will not go away quietly. Neither will the pretended ignorance of the real meanings and modern celebrations of pagan holidays, or ignorance of the original meanings of curse words and filthy language, make those things go away. No, our toning these things down is like planting a garden of thistles. Keeping them growing along a border in a neat way, decorating them with bright colours or filling them with candies does not change their nature; it merely has us believing that even thorns can be made beautiful if you are creative. And the weeds will continue to grow and choke out the healthy garden foods, just as filthy talk and wild holiday parties and dances will continue hide in the nice decorations that we try to cover them with. Would it not be better rather to eliminate or having nothing to do with these things in the first place, than to merely dress up something worldly as "redeemed", as some claim to do? What about something completely different?

Photo from One Year Bible Blog

There are some things that are always good, and things that are not. We are aware of the "works of the flesh" - those things that please our flesh and blood but that will pass away, and in the meantime may tear apart our precious soul and spirit. We must consider for ourselves things like:

• "Immodest dress
• "Dancing that looks like something out of a Snoop Dogg video
• "Drugs and alcohol
• "Pressure for sexual activity
• "Music with immoral messages" (the above list from "Should We Let Our Kids Go To Prom")
• "Dancing" that is called "grinding", which looks even to un-Christian parents like "vertical sex"
• Fostering romantic relationships between those who are not looking for a potential spouse
• Spending excessive amounts of money to please oneself for a one night event
• Hanging around with people which may cause us or our friends to behave in a way that does not "make for good works," rather than "fleeing" from questionable activities
• Music that is secular, promoting a world view that is not Christian, which does not uplift or encourage, but merely makes us "feel good" (this is a hard one for me to write here but something I have to catch myself on too)
• Lying to yourself and to your children that spending much time with those in the world is really in order to teach them the truth

Photo from Scripture Wallpaper

People of all ages and backgrounds (religious and irreligious) will point out to you that The Prom is not necessarily a den of iniquity, filled with every evil thing. You will be told that their Prom, or alternative dance, will be have rules and chaperones. It will be explained carefully to you that it is not the Prom itself where these occur, but in the after parties that children attend with or without their parents' knowledge. (Read "Educating the Next Generation" for one volunteer adult's description of a local prom with rules and plenty of chaperones.) And so, they will point out, the Prom is a good thing. But, ask them, good for what?

And you know that Prom has expectations attached by others. In a world where parents more and more are giving up their blessings - their children - to rearing up by secular or rarely present hosts, children will learn to behave badly, having little to no moral instruction. Even Christian parents leave the training of their children up to the school or "the church", and those children do not receive much of the training that they could have had, since once or twice a week in Bible class, and maybe a summer camp one week a year, is not diligent training. Parents: please take your blessings and your responsibilities seriously. Children: please listen to your parents.

In the end, attending The Prom, or any event, is going to be a decision made by each individual, and not all decisions - even those made in prayer - will be the same.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. (Romans 14:1, The Message)

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So this is the last I will write in this series regarding The Prom, unless I receive comments under any of the posts this month. The information is out there, and you can read my own opinion here, if that is of any consequence. I hope that you as a parent or as a young person who is reading these brief articles and links, will think about the cultural push to attend fancy dances and dress up dinners. Can it be done to the glory of God? That is for you to decide and to act on. Perhaps you will decide to celebrate the blossom season of the world with long walks taking photos, making scrap books, having gospel music singing times, hosting a pot-luck dinner (or series of dinners) with good friends, making a trip to a small farm or even a foreign country to help others in need, getting a group together to sing at a retirement home, work out your first Bible class lesson to share with others, go on a trip to visit a place with a small congregation of God's people to encourage them . . . I mean, there is just so much that is available to spend your time and money on (other than fancy dress balls) that will reflect living by the Spirit. And as the man wrote, there's no law against doing good things.

Photo from Catholic Faith Education

"The Truth About Prom"

"The Truth About Prom"

In, A Wordy Woman, read this personal story and testimony concerning attending The Prom. I recommend it.

Modest and Modest Fancy Dresses

It is still "fancy dress" month, and today's entry is going to be for links and ideas that are not quite the Disney Princess or Quinceañera ballgown. Not because those styles of dresses cannot be modest in a sexually pure way, but because I want to focus on both of the meanings of the word "modest" in this post.

Photo from Beautifully Modest

You see, some folks don't like the proms and balls and banquets because to dress up in fancy dresses or suits is to be too showy. Type in the word "modest" in your Google search bar and this is what you get:

mod·est  

/ˈmädəst/

 

Adjective

 

1. Unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities or achievements.
2. (of an amount, rate, or level of something) Relatively moderate, limited, or small.

Synonyms

 

humble - unassuming - unpretentious - lowly - moderate

Photo from Jen Clothing

Now, obviously, many women have used the idea of unassuming moderation to not show off their female bodies, which, obviously to most men, are quite beautiful and entrancing without all the trappings to show them off so much (yes, even you, who thinks you're not so lovely to look at). Showing off our shapeliness with tight or see through material, or showing off our softer skin by using less material in general - even if it is not the intent - is still showing off without modesty what we have been given or have developed through diet or exercise. And so "modest dresses" tends to mean not showing off our bodies: covering up shoulders and cleavage, thighs and knees, and for some, even calves, arms and necks.

But modesty ALSO means a more general just plain humbleness, that is, not showing off your beauty or wealth or beautiful clothing or jewelry or lovely hair. Think not? The apostle Peter, who spent a great deal of time with Jesus Christ while on earth, wrote:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:1-4

And the apostle, Paul, wrote in his letter to the young preacher, Timothy:

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.  1 Timothy 2:9-10

Photo from Great Lengths Clothing

This is not to say that there aren't occasions where you might want to put on wedding clothes or dressy clothes, because of a special occasion (usually dictated by the culture you are in, such as a Latin American community which puts greater importance on the 15th birthday, or a North American community that puts a great importance on a dinner celebrating the end of your high school or college years). So how far do you go in dressing up according to your culture, without losing your modesty, either in purity or in humility? It might be called "semi formal".

Check out "JenClothing" for Modest Prom Dresses to see what that might look like.  "Beautifully Modest" offers a Semi Formal selection as well. I recently found the online store with affordable modest formals: "Great Lengths Clothing". If these aren't quite the formal that you're looking for, I came across Kara Moss' Pinterest page of lovely modest prom dresses, which for the most part don't seem too over-the-top when it comes to showiness either. (Once again, I'm not getting paid to endorse these stores, and I haven't shopped there either; let the buyer be aware.)

Finding a modest formal gown - both modest for humbleness and modest for purity - is possible, but it will take time and some specific ideas. First of all, remember who you really are - inside - that you want others to see on the outside. You, not your dress or your hair style. Then have fun searching the internet, and don't miss perusing all the links to modest Wedding, Prom and other formal dress shops in the super wonderful and cross cultural and cross age groups "Modest Clothing Directory" (where you'll find lots more than just modest fancy dresses).

Fancy Dress Month - Going to The Prom? part 2

My last blog entry opened up the idea that going to the local prom (high school or secondary school fancy dress dance and banquet) is not the best choice for an old fashioned Christian young person. And if there is an alternative offered for a fancy dress banquet, alternatives also abound for modest fancy dresses.

Today's entry is simply a gathering of other writing on the subject of The Prom and the thoughts of those who are living their lives for Christ in relation to said Prom. For me personally, I saw no real reason to attend The Prom when I was in high school, other than that a Cute Boy asked me to go with him when I was only in 10th grade. I remember having to stop and reconsider going for a moment, though today, I cannot remember why I wanted to go to The Prom, except that I was so elated at being asked by this older boy! The next two years went by, and I had no trouble explaining to my friends that I just didn't want to go. Since they knew that I never attended any of the school dances either, there wasn't any conversation about it that I remember now. I don't regret not going, and as I remember, I did actually "stay home and wash my hair," as I told a few friends that I would do. I'm not sure that I would have attended a "Christian Prom Alternative" if there had been one, given the idea that I still would have had to spend money to buy a fancy dress and tickets, etc. I have always been rather a "hippie" or "flower child" born out of due season, and not really good at understanding these kind of events. More on that topic in a future post, perhaps.

1. "A Teenager's Answer To "Shall I Go To The Prom?", by Sherry Burgess, found in Truth Magazine. This article is the one mentioned in my last post's link, and was written by a young woman back in the 1980's. Things have not changed much, really. In this article, she shares all of the steps that she went to as she made her decision not to attend The Prom. She also wrote how she felt sad when at first she decided against going, but then, "In my prayer that night, I thanked the Lord for giving me the strength to say "no" . . . ."  Sherry is now happily married and has two wonderful children in college and one in high school, and her Christian life has been full of the wonder and magic that can never be found in a dance-and-banquet.

Purchase this plaque from Lasting Reminders.com

2. "Planning for a Pure Prom Night", By Erin Davis, found in Lies Young Women Believe. This article was written last year, and though she applauds girls who have decided to "swim upstream" and not attend, she writes this article for those who have decided that "It is possible to attend prom with your purity, modesty, and faith still intact." Is it? She lists 10 things that a young woman can do to help her to maintain her purity and still attend The Prom. As we cannot judge others' hearts or intents, we must therefore pray for those who choose to attend and try make a difference at the same time.

Ephesians 5:3 art from Wardrobe of Grace

3. "But It's The Prom!", by Steve Higginbothem, at PreachingHelp.org. This article talks about that difference between "dancing" and "Dancing" ("Not all dancing involves indecent dress, unchaste contact, or illicit movements. . . . The kind of dancing that God’s word condemns is the kind of dancing that stirs one to have impure thoughts, and act in impure ways."), and also lists several things that are associated with Prom in the area where he writes. The big question: "Do we really think that such actions will simply be pardoned or excused because, after all, “It’s the Prom.”"

1Peter 2:11 art from Christian Mingler

4. "Are You Going To Prom? - Lesson 11", found at VSCOC.com.  This is a short little lesson using scripture, including discussion questions and short answers, which could be used privately or in a class. It is a good summary of about all of the articles that you may find on Christians attending dances or Prom events, and includes a discussion of a passage in the book of Job that you may not usually think of when discussing dancing and whether or not there is too much preaching on the subject.

2 Timothy 2:22 artwork from Scent of Faith

5. "Is It Okay For Me To Go To The Prom?", found at Study the Bible. If the other studies are too long or studious, try this simple reply. Written like a short high school essay: "The question for the Christian young person should not be "Is it o.k. for me to go to the prom?". The question should be "Is it best for me to go to the prom?"."


6. "You're Not Going To Prom?",  by Allen Webster, at House to House. This article gives three main ways that you could answer the question (other than the simplistic answer that I gave when I was in school), with Bible words as your main purpose. And it has to do with avoiding sin, whether you hurt yourself, others, or your example.

photo found on tumblr

This last article ends by mentioning that alternatives to The Prom exist, and these next few links deal with doing Something Else, though these next few links are only indicators of the many alternatives available.

In Defense of Prom Alternative,  by Melissa at Christ Crossed my Heart. Melissa lists her reasons for not attending Prom, and positively, her reasons for doing Something Else. This group's plan was a lovely formal dinner, change clothes and go bowling after, then to someone's house to roast s'mores over a campfire. The boys and girls had separate sleepovers and rejoined for breakfast the next day. I love her response: "When all’s said and done, I had a wonderful evening. I grew closer to brothers and sisters in Christ, and I had a fantastic time doing so. I’m so thankful that someone had the idea to give us a special evening free of temptation or worldliness!"

Alternative to the Prom, by Mary at For Christian Girls. Here is a short description of another alternative that was offered in one area, where the kids had "good, clean fun" and enjoyed it. They had dinner at a dress fancy restaurant, strolled around town together and then went for ice cream.

Prim Proms: How Religious Teens Party, by Ellen Leventry at Belief.net. Interesting article that goes beyond conservative Christianity: "From same-sex dancing to modest gowns, conservative Muslim, Jewish and Christian teens are finding prom alternatives." We are not alone. Some of the alternatives list shopping nights, girls only or guys only nights, and senior class dinners.

I personally like the idea that the movie "Courageous" portrayed when the father of the teenaged girl took her out for a fancy dress meal on a "date" to show her how he wanted a man to treat her. (Link to the video clip of this scene at YouTube)

Actor Ken Bevel, portraying a dad in the movie "Courageous"

There's a lot to read and sort through there. No one's requiring you to read every bit, or to agree with every bit. I'm just hoping that some young woman, or young man, or parent, somewhere might stumble upon this list and find something good for their minds to think about for a while.

Philippians 4:8 artwork found at Little Birdie Blessings

Going to the Prom or Modest Banquet?

Had my attention drawn to this article that was written last year about The Prom. Isn't it interesting that after all these years, The Prom is still a big issue with many young people and their old fashioned (or newly old fashioned) parents?


"Considerations Before Going to the Prom or Dancing | Godly Youth"

I got a bright idea. I thought I'd put together a listing of modest banquet style dresses for those young ladies that want to still have a special night of some kind and yet they don't believe that they can find anything modest to wear, because there isn't anything at the mall or the local bridal shop. Then I kept thinking...

Okay, so April is now fancy dress month. Here's your first and most popular "modest banquet dresses" websites, according to my most recent Google search, along with some photos, for ideas. Oh, and as always, this is a personal search and post, and I'm not getting paid for these free advertisements for the online stores. Unless they'd like to contact me... ;)

. . . And The Most Popular "Modest Banquet Dresses" Website According to Google Search Is:

Simple Bolero Pattern

Easy Prom Dress Pattern

ModestProm.com --   The all comprehensive site that includes tabs for buying (websites and physical stores in the United States), budgeting, bolero-ing and shrug-ing (patterns for coverups to make and wear over top of immodest tops), altering, sewing (fairly simple patterns), fitting and flattering, and fixing up. There's a link to Modest Prom Rentals (Store in Mapleton, Utah), and Modest Dress Rentals Online (for those not in Utah). The article on budgeting is very smart. "Finding affordable prom dresses is largely a matter of planning ahead and being creative." Alteration tips and patterns include ideas for lengthening and shortening of dresses, adding "fill-ins" for spaghetti straps or strapless dresses, and even attaching short sleeves. Links on the home page include sites that are LDS (Latter Day Saints) "temple friendly", if I can use that phrase. I have seen it used for years to describe modest wedding gowns, because though there are no specific rules about what can be worn in the temple, modest dress is emphasized, and shoulders and cleavage and thighs and backs should always be covered (this knowledge is from what I've read here and there; I'm not Mormon, but I do appreciate the emphasis on appearance, as the outside not only reflects the inside, but also is often the only thing that others will see).

"Fill In" for a strapless gown

If you don't use ModestProm for purchase or pattern, at least prayerfully peruse it for your own thoughts and ideas. According to the blog entry at Modest Dress Rentals Online: "Owner Chris Hash has been helping young ladies find or create modest prom dresses for many years via her web site ModestProm.com. Several years ago, she opened an in-home rental shop which offers exclusively modest dresses for rent, ModestPromRentals.com. The shop services the central Utah area." Congratulations on your well-organized, needful and welcome website, Chris Hash.

Dresses from Modest Dress Rentals Online

7 Things We Must Tell Our Daughters

"Raising Daughters in a World That Devalues Them: 7 Things We Must Tell Them — We are THAT Family"

If you haven't read the latest article that's burning up the facebook shares, you must read this. Don't miss the link to the follow up article which lists a ton of resources to help you as a parent or as a young woman.

"The Problem With Low Self-Esteem"

Young women, and the rest of us too, will benefit for understanding the words this young woman offers us. Using the Bible and her own life as a reference, she puts self esteem where it needs to be: away.

The Rebelution: The Problem With Low Self-Esteem
by Ana Harris

Her letter opens this way:

"Hello friend! Thank you for contacting us. I definitely understand the discouragement of feeling like you’re bad at everything and have no talents. I’ve been there too — always comparing myself to others, always feeling bad about myself, always focusing on my weaknesses and wondering if I could ever be good at anything. It is indeed, a miserable way to live! And I have come to believe that it is not only a miserable way to live, but a sinful way to live. Let me explain…

"Most modern people would say that young girls who are perpetually feeling down on themselves have a low self-esteem problem and need to learn to accept themselves for who they are, and even love themselves. I absolutely believe that this is the wrong approach and that “good self-esteem” is a terrible goal to pursue.

"Some people even put a Christian spin on it and basically say that we need to feel good about ourselves because God feels good about us. But that completely misses the point. Feeling good about ourselves was never meant to be the goal of anybody’s life!

"When I was an anorexic thirteen-year-old, I spent a good deal of time thinking thoughts like, “She’s’ more beautiful than me. She’s funnier than me. She’s better at sports. She’s smarter than me. She has more friends than me. I can’t do anything right! Nobody likes me!” Do you notice how selfish those thoughts sound? Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

"Now, If I had embraced the world’s solutions I would have learned to replace those negative thoughts about myself with positive ones, “I am the most beautiful me. No one else could be better at being me than I am. My true friends love me. I’m good at this and that, etc.” Certainly, thoughts like these are less destructive to my immediate happiness but they are no less me-focused.

"I am so grateful I had parents who offered me a different solution to my supposed “self-esteem” problem; parents who preached Christ and urged me to repent. I am so grateful they recognized how sickly and narrow a self-focused life really is, and spurred me on to love and good works (Heb. 10:24). So now, I want to offer you the opportunity to embrace same solution they offered me."

Please click the title link above to read the full article to find out more about the problem with self-esteem. And let no one think more highly of himself than he ought to think.

Addressing Biblical Femininity and Modesty With Our Daughters

I really appreciate the frankness of this article. The why, when and how are all addressed, and in a calm manner too. I like the simple summary of femininity according to scripture as well. Well done, Headmistress.  Click:
"Addressing Biblical Femininity and Modesty With Our Daughters"

"What Girls Need to Know"

Click to read:

What Girls Need to Know | The Common Room

Wow - fall means "snuggle weather" for a lot of people. We all need to be aware of things like this lady points out in her list here. Not everyone is exactly the same, with the same level of hormones, or social upbringing or social pressure.

What do you think of this list as general guidelines though? Have you discussed these things in ANY way with your "main squeeze"? You (and they) may be surprised that "snuggling" means something a little different from each other, or from what you expected. Just something to think about and be aware of.

artificial beauty aids toxic?

Couple of links, via FoxNews and a video clip of their Dr. Manny, answering questions on this study:

"Study: Makeup Contains Chemicals Harmful, Cancerous to Teens", October 01, 2008, FoxNews.com

Link to the study by the Environmental Working Group. Study published September 24, 2008.

Video clip: "Price of Beauty? Toxic chemicals from makeup seeping into blood"

The High Calling for Noble Ladies

From the latest radio series conversation from (click here:) Revive Our Hearts:

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Bob Lepine: I’ll never forget a conversation I was having once with two college professors. These professors taught what is a dying discipline on the college campus. They were teaching Home Economics. They were meeting with a group of young college women. They said to these women, “How many of you hope that some day you will be married and that you will be parents, that you’ll be a mom?”

And virtually all of the women raised their hands. That was their hope and their longing. And these college professors said, “How come you’re not taking Home Economics classes?” And one of them said, “Because my dad said, ‘I’m not spending all that money sending you to college just so you can learn how to cook and clean the house.’”

We do seem to live in a culture today that is somewhat confused about what God’s intention for a woman is when it comes to career, when it comes to her role in the home, and it’s one of the issues that young women are having to address, having to confront.

In fact, I remember speaking to a group of teenage girls once, talking to them about their plans for going to college, what they were planning to major in, and what they hoped to be doing five or ten years from now. Virtually all of them gave me career answers to that question, and when I stopped and said, “What about marriage and family? Is that something that you’re interested in?” They said, “Oh yeah.” But their thinking was career not how do I prepare to be a wife and a mom.

This is one of those challenging issues for us in today’s culture.

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And, Dannah, as you talk with teenage girls, as you talk with them today, how is this shaping their thinking, and how is it subtly influencing them in a directional way from what God would have for them?

Dannah: Well, I don’t think it’s very subtle. I think it’s pretty direct. What’s frightening to me is we’ve had the issue of young women saying, “I don’t know if I want to submit to my husband when I have a husband; I don’t know if I really want to have a husband.” Within the last five years or so, they are increasingly saying, “I don’t know if I want to have kids, at all, ever. I haven’t seen that be a good thing. I don’t want to be tied to that. I don’t want to be slowed down.”

It’s frightening to me that this isn’t just a cultural pressure anymore, but it’s something within the church.

Bob: So the lie that teenage girls are believing today is that being a mom, being a wife, is not something that has any real value. Is that it?

Nancy: It’s not just what a woman’s role is, but it goes back to this whole thing of our calling and our design as women, and the fact that God made women and men for distinctive, unique purposes to bring Him glory in this world, that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about our fulfillment or our happiness. I think we had stripped from us, in the last two or three generations, the sense of what it even means to be a woman.

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Honestly, it wasn’t until I was probably in my early twenties that I started grappling with:

• What did it mean?
• What does it mean for me to be a woman?
• Why did God make me a woman?
• Why is that a good thing?
• How can I glorify God as a woman?

I think I was probably in my early thirties before I was really comfortable with that, and not just comfortable. What God did was so sweet. It’s not just something I said, “Okay, I surrender to this.” There was that, but more than that there was embracing a vision for how my life could distinctively glorify God as a woman and finding joy and freedom and fullness in that.

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Please read or listen to the series: (click here:) Revive Our Hearts.

Quotes of the week

"Everything old is new again"

Domestic Felicity quotes her husband:

"I hope you never, ever have to work outside the home. I love the way you care for our home. I love the way you wait for me with a smile when I come back from work. Sure, you have been doing things all day, but you feel a sense of satisfaction because you do it all for us. You aren't exhausted from running around and trying to have it all together. You aren't a slave to another man's schedule. In the evenings, we have plenty of time to sit together and talk, without arguing about whose day was more difficult. I just love it."

Sigh. Domestic Felicity was a good choice of name for this young lady.

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"Mod, not mode, is choice for real girls", by Shanna Flowers, the Roanoke Times:

Parents and their daughters deserve a standing ovation for fighting back over the supersexualized, skin-revealing fashions that gained traction with the young set in recent years.

Just like the women who inspired the look, including Paris and Britney, sexy is so last season. Mod -- as in modesty -- is increasingly in vogue for young girls.

Modest doesn't mean frumpy. Girls can be fashionable without looking like hoochie mamas in training.

"I think it's kind of gross," said DeAnna, who attends Ruffner Middle School. "Why would you want to go around wearing clothes that show all your underwear?"

Shrinking profits recently forced Victoria's Secret executive Sharen Turney to concede that her company has gotten too sexy. She reviewed her company's Pink line, marketed to younger women and girls, and called for a return to a more sophisticated brand.

Fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus, better known as Hannah Montana, received kudos for her stylish yet age-appropriate gown at the Academy Awards. And a faith-based group called Pure Fashion is cropping up in cities across America promoting modest fashions.

If that bit about Victoria's Secret doesn't make you smile, at least sigh a bit that the seed has been planted. Maybe it will grow even there. We aren't alone, Gentle Ladies.

Apparently, the backlash against sexy is working.

And maybe stores are responding by stocking racks and shelves with more fashions that don't bare all.

The move toward modesty should bring a smile to parents concerned about the sexualization of youngsters. It should satisfy critics who have justifiably complained about the fashion images peddled to young girls. It will remove bare skin from schools that don't need yet another distraction in the classroom.

And the final quote, which I really like:

If girls, indeed, are sugar and spice, the recipe for fashion success should be for a dash of spice -- not the whole container.

Old Fashioned Home Economics Video

When you have a half an hour, watch "The Home Economics Story" (1951) - how school can prepare you for home life. I know my college years did very little to prepare me for home and family. I should have taken Home Ec.

Aggressive Girls

Radio Series: Understanding Aggressive Girls, on FamilyLife Today, with Dennis Rainey

I came across this series on OnePlace.com, conversations between concerned fathers about the influence of aggressiveness in girls. Text messages, phone calls, emails - girls chasing boys, but beyond what some of us know as simply being "boy crazy". What can a parent do for their sons, to train them up to be able to turn away from girls who are not growing up to be "ladies", even those who are supposed to be religious. This is a Christian based discussion, of the "evangelical" persuasion, but so applicable to all who live in a modern world.

"Aggressive girls will occur in your sons' life."

Check out these episodes:

Aggressive Girls
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
A New Phenomenon or An Old Problem?
More and more parents are expressing concern about the number of young women actively pursing their sons. On today's broadcast, family expert Dennis Rainey sheds some light on this new phenomenon and coaches parents on what to do when they see it happening.

Warning: Bad Girls Ahead
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Today on the broadcast, best-selling author and speaker Dennis Rainey talks honestly with parents about protecting their sons from overly aggressive girls.

Equipping Your Sons for Battle
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Would your son know what do to if he was propositioned by a member of the opposite sex? What about a member of the same sex? Today on the broadcast, Dennis Rainey, author of numerous books including Parenting Today's Adolescent and Interviewing Your Daughter's Date, speaks frankly to parents about equipping sons to handle aggressive girls.

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Read the Proverbs, chapters 5-7. From chapter 7:

My son, keep my words,
And treasure my commands within you.
Keep my commands and live,
And my law as the apple of your eye.
Bind them on your fingers;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
And call understanding your nearest kin,
That they may keep you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words.

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You may also want to check out these books, for families with children about 7-12 (or so), called "The Princess and the Kiss" and "The Squire and the Scroll", from Revive Our Hearts. We just got them, and they really seem to be a good resource for helping to teach purity.

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How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. - Psalm 119:9

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How Shall The Young Secure Their Hearts? - all verses by Isaac Watts, old music version with midi