Old Fashioned Ladies Aren't Perfect; Did You Know?

My life's not perfect. (Shocker.) 

Nobody's life is perfect. (Even more shocking?)

We all understand that, don't we?

Here's the thing: We mostly just post the good stuff on Facebook or Instagram or in our blogs, because it's nice to share a happiness with someone, share a smile, try to uplift, instruct, even make aware of something that you just found out that you think someone else might find interesting or helpful too.

I find it interesting that that's what God wants us to do - encourage, lift up, admonish even from time to time. Share prayer requests and answered prayers. It's not actually bragging or trying to show someone else up. (Of course, some folks do, but they're so obvious.) Your average friend is just like you, and really is just trying to share ... something. Maybe even trying to serve. But sometimes when we think too much about serving ourselves and comparing ourselves with some fancy of "perfection", we might start thinking that when someone "gets" something that we struggle with, that they're showing off.

But, see, don't ever compare yourself with scattered comments and the occasional photo on Facebook or Twitter or any other social media. Those are just passing smiles or lessons shared - not entire lives. Same goes for awesome authors and guest speakers and, ahem, even preachers and their wives. Whether they're bragging or just sharing, it's just a moment or a thought, after all. And you can't strive to be Nancy Leigh DeMoss or Max Lucado, for example, because, not only are they not perfect themselves, those people are already taken. You can't be them. You be you. Imperfections and all.

Once we get that sorted in our minds - and don't berate anyone for not putting all their laundry out on the internet so you can see that they're not perfect; you just gotta know that everybody's not perfect - then we can begin to look more clearly at a big picture of a world of people, of a big family perhaps, who all are different, carrying on with their own lives, many of whom are just reaching out to connect from time to time.

Admission: I used to have trouble with all the "my wonderful kid", "my wonderful husband," "my wonderful church," "my wonderful pet," etc. posts too - sometimes - until I started truly rejoicing with those who rejoice... and mourning with those who mourn. Putting my own jealousy aside for a moment and realizing that those star jump-roping kids might have trouble with a math or foreign language or getting along with each other; those cool husbands got that post because they only cleaned that kitchen or brought those flowers ONE TIME; that really cute dog regularly poops in the backyard and has to be cleaned up after ... Now this is NOT that I rejoice in others' sorrows, but that I KNOW that we "brag" about some things because the whole rest of life is just sort of average, like everyone else goes through. That is, full of troubles AND joys. There is a time to weep. There is also a time to rejoice with others.

I wish I could thank all the moms who post cute little pictures that make us smile, thank all the pet lovers whose little furry and scaly friends make them laugh, thank all those students who keep sharing that something new they learned even if I think I've learned it before. I want to thank all those folks who share simple prayer requests, because it shows a faith in the love and prayers of friends, and the knowledge that God hears our prayers and knows what we need before we even ask or go into detail, and a love and trust for the others who they have reached out to.

Here's another thing to think about: Some young men and women actually think that they have to look like supermodels because that's what media portrays. Now, most of us get it, that we don't have to look that, or else we'd all really look like those poor models. There's hope in that fact that we don't! We really do - most of us - know that nobody's perfect.

If only people would look at the snapshots of the lives of friends and mentors online in the same way - that we're not going to look like our idea of "perfection" on earth - and just get on with living in the great corner where we are with the great gifts we've got.

I've got a beautiful niece/cousin who needs to know that she is beautiful inside and out. Several friends who also suffer from time to time because they don't know this. People I barely know but read about and hear about who have stared so long and so hard at a fantastic unreality that they have confused that unreal place as a goal - but since it doesn't exist, they are thwarted and frustrated and depressed every day of their lives! Beauty, peace, love, hope, purity, JOY - they just are. You can't control them and make them appear at your bidding. Grasp that reality? We're just little people in a great big world after all. That shouldn't make us feel lost, but rather, as children, cared for. We don't have to have or do it all. We just don't have to.

So, does going online or watching TV make you feel "inferior"? Please remind yourself that those images are temporary, abbreviated, sometimes even airbrushed pictures of only a small part of life - but they are not the dirty, busy, troublesome, crazy and sometimes even scary life that is intricate and real and all around all of us. That life is dirty so we can clean up and find the pure and true. Busy so that we can know to strive for peace. Troublesome so that we can remember that we need each other; others need us as much as we need them, even if they don't "look" like they do! Life is crazy sometimes, emphasizing the fact that there is a sane and sober and mature standard to keep working toward. Maturity - that's what's out there. And sometimes, I think life is even scary, and unnerving, to remind us that we don't want to live in fear and anxiety, and so we'll keep on reaching and searching for the strength and goodness that goes beyond understanding because it's from beyond this place. Because there is Something More. Something Better. If this life truly were perfect, wouldn't you just want to stay here for ever? But there is a Place for us.

I could stop trying to encourage others to grow in their faith, or hope, or love, or joy or peace... because I'm not perfect, so why should they listen? And they might see that I'm not perfect and ridicule me and not listen anyway. All of us could do that. Just stop encouraging. Stop trying. Stop living. We're never going to be whatever our idea of perfect is anyway.

No. That's the problem. We aren't here to be some feeble human idea of perfect. We're here to live. To learn. To grow. To help others along the way. To walk together and talk together. To sing together, cry together, laugh together. How dare we look at one another and think, "well, they're not my idea of perfect, so I want nothing to do with them." Or to think of ourselves, "well, I'm not my idea of perfect, so I'm not worthy of anything." How haughty, really. How proud we are to think that we know so much. How dare we "put on airs," and compare ourselves with some imagined idea of perfection and decide that since no one is then we just don't have time for them, or even ourselves.

How about this: the next time someone posts about their honour student, instead of wondering if your kid could beat up their kid, why not be happy with them? Share some of their joy, since you can't seem to find any for yourself.

How about the next time you start thinking that someone else has a perfect life, you say a prayer for them, because there is something that you don't know about.  Pray for the ones that belittle you, including yourself, that we'll all find the truth about things. Pray for the ones that are giving you advice, even if they aren't perfect themselves - because you know, they wouldn't give you advice, however clumsily they do it, however off the advice might seem, if they didn't care about you. Would you remember that?

How about instead of whining about the person that keeps whining, you mourn with them. Walk a mile in their moccasins. With them, or without their knowledge even. Mourn with them.

How about you remember that your life isn't perfect and neither is anyone else's. Don't be jealous of their supposed "greener pastures". Don't be envious and try to work out how to take what is theirs away from them. Just smile with them, and rejoice with them. Remember that they may have some obstacle in their life that you wouldn't be able to handle even if you were paid to do it.

Remember that Jesus, the Son of God Almighty, went through an awful lot because God Loves You, and doesn't desire that any should perish, but that all would come to eternal life.

How about you remember that this world just isn't your eternal home, nor anyone else's. It's not perfect, in any sense of the word.

Someday, our lives will be perfect, in the Creator's sense of the word perfect.

We all can understand that, can't we?

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“But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”- 1 Corinthians 13:10-12.

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“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” - 1 John 3:2

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But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;  that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,  if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule; let us be of the same mind. - Philippians 3

Depression - a Spiritual Problem

Photo from Far Above Rubies

Coincidence? I was just talking with some folks about depression recently, and then I found this article today. Here's a woman-to-woman talk, the author sharing her experience and some very good ideas for dealing with depression.

Are You Depressed? You Don't Have To Be!
by Far Above Rubies

(Please read the article linked to above)


I hope no one considers this article to be "potentially harmful" because she doesn't immediately point people to psych drugs as the answer (but only as a possible temporary help), instead encouraging you to make a choice to change yourself. She writes: "Medicine may be of some use, but it is not a permanent solution. You must take other disciplines such as changing your eating habits, exercising, praying, meditating on God's word, and spending time with people that challenge and inspire you. Stop hanging around negative people. "

Found in "The Male Perspective: Dealing With Depression" in Secrets of a Good Girl blog

You see, these I have done, never having been labeled or diagnosed during a down time myself, and yet experiencing ups and downs has shown me that this short article does indeed have a lot of merit and advice for climbing back out of the mud puddles and into the Light, where we can see that we were washed and cleansed. For some crazy reason I believed them when they taught that the word of God was infallible, and was profitable for all kinds of correction and reproof, able to make me complete, whole. And I think it works. (So maybe I rely on coffee and chocolate sometimes as my drugs; nobody's perfect. Isn't that a good lesson for the depressed perfectionist?)

Found in "theiemommy" blog

Now, we're not to condemn or judge anyone - that's not my job or purpose here. If you are depressed, you're not judged or condemned, you're just going through a season like everyone else (even David, the man after God's own heart, went through some pretty rough seasons, cf. Psalms 42). If you haven't dealt with it well, you're not condemned or judged, you are merely reading someone's experience who feels that they have learned a better way to deal with depression, and they want to share it so that they can help others. If nothing in this article helps you, then you may shake your head and say, "well, I'm glad it works for you, but I'm not like you." And that is okay with me. But please don't be too negative about it; that may only increase your sense of depression, which is exactly the opposite of why you and I are reading this article in the first place. I just hope that you do read something here or in her article that helps you in some way. If nothing else, find someone to talk about this with.

When I feel down, I tend to look down and in. But I have learned that some of the most amazing things to see are found when you look up and out.

by Robyn Gough

Oh, and don't forget to get some fresh air,  breathe right and drink enough water. ;)


...........................................................

You might be interested to read also: 

"What Does the Bible Say About: Depression?"  From Jack Zavad, at About.com (yes, about.com; it has a good little summary with several Bible links)

For a little more indepth reading, try these links, with numerous links to other articles at the end of the article:
"Are there biblical examples of depression and how to deal with it?" From Paul S. Taylor, in ChristianAnswers.net
Bible Help To Overcome Depression from Bible.ca

And for a LOT more indepth reading, go to this link on psychiatry and the Bible at Bible.ca, which starts with this introduction:

"The wise old church elder said, "Depression is not a medical problem, it is a faith problem."

Since insanity, schizophrenia, bipolar and depression have no biological cause, this essentially banishes Biopsychiatry to the Junk Science Hall of Fame beside Humoral Medicine. It obsoletes psychiatric drugs and shocks as cures. It extincts all psychiatrists who claim to be experts in something they do not think exists ("psychiatrist" lit. Greek: "doctor of the soul"). What is left standing is the Bible and Christians who had it right all along as the historic experts on human behaviour.

--- EDIT --- (same day in the evening) - the last article here may or may not line up with your own beliefs about psychiatry, the Bible and the human soul; please read it to think about, and if you have questions, you may contact the author at the link provided on his website. ---

Just What You Need!

I want to tell you about a great resource out there for you to find something good to read everyday in, including:

• encouragements, 
• scoldings, 
• poetry and songs,
• stories (about good people and bad people, and the consequences of their choices), 
• illustrations, 
• sermons, 
• and even miracles.

It's got a reading schedule of sorts in it, and you can follow by days of the month or days of the week.

It's for everyone: men, women and children, married, single and widowed, old and young, country folk and city people, plain and PhD'd, saint and sinner.

You may be bogged down with a lot of books and online sources and worksheets and mailings and e-mailings and daily readers - but you can have it all in one, and, bless you, you've already got one or two in your house, and you can find it online, too: it's the Holy Bible! 

Find one small enough to carry with you for reading in the elevator or waiting room.

Put one by your bedside and in your bathroom reading shelf.

Get one that's got a dictionary/concordance in it, if you doubt your own research skills.

Pick one up in another translation to compare and find deeper, more beautiful, broader and more specific meanings.

Find a local Bible study group (they're everywhere) to go even further in your understanding and appreciation, as well as to get encouragement to keep on reading and growing every day.

Cover it with your favourite wall paper or wrapping paper to match your room.

Copy out thoughts on your own choice of paper, napkin, notebook or arm, for re-reading and memorizing throughout the day or week.

Take notes right on the pages!

If you need a copy of the Bible, know that it's the world's best selling book, so you're likely to find it anywhere; just find your local church, and even if they don't practice everything within it's pages, more than likely they will have a book for you to take home and keep.

Maybe you were looking for a blog or a book or an e-mailing or an online group, because you think you need them. They can be a help - for sure! - but this book has got everything you need.

Pick one up today!

 

scripture art above from :  http://www.scripturewallart.com/acts.html

Keep Calm and Carry On

" . . . do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, "Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him." But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls."

Reading about Elizabeth and Zacharias in Luke 1 - talk about perseverance and confidence. Did you know that Elizabeth's name means "God's promise"? Think of Elizabeth's life of loveliness, as she lived by faith, not by sight. “And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years." 

Can this be said of us? That we are righteous, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord - even without considering the grace of Christ, for remember that Elizabeth and Zacharias lived in the days before God came to earth as a man to provide that grace of son-ship and forgiveness to us. In spite of watching all their friends and relatives with their babies while they had none of their own, seeing blessings which it seemed that they had somehow been denied, they stayed true and faithful. "Anyway", some might add.

No matter what, never give up. Never surrender.

Consider this:

 

I posted on my Facebook today...

I was reminded of this sermon today, and looked it up again. This link is to a video that was made to go along with the audio recording. (Lest you feel distracted by the background noises, remember the song we teach the little children, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands... shout, "amen!") How happy I am that my citizenship is in heaven, and I can, as a True Monarchist, say, "Long live the King!".

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire."

That's My King! - SM Lockridge

If you're not already familiar with S M Lockridge's "That's My King!" - then you should be! He speaks for six minutes about Jesus and it's impossible not to ...

For a transcript of the words only, see this blog: http://thatsmyking.wordpress.com/words/

Words

Michelle Sowers Maddocks Today I need to pray for those who hold up this world and its leaders as so important that they will lie for them, kill for them, or even hate and slander for them. I need to pray that their minds will be open to see what is truly important and Who is truly the King of all leaders. I need to pray that they will open their hearts to understand the needs of others, and the lives and situations of others who are different from their own; I need to pray that they will have a heart for the weak and the meek and the merciful and the peaceful, just as their King loves all people, no matter their background, no matter their creed. I need to pray for them to be good parents and friends, to be good children and wives and husbands, that they may honour their King and give due respect to one another as His Children, not tearing one another down or pointing out others' weaknesses in anger and haughtiness, but in love encourage one another as an ever present support. I need to pray that those who have placed too much importance on the things of this world - in their country, their political party, their entertainment, their clothing, their stuff - I need to pray that they will lift up their eyes to things of the Spirit, and see that not only are others in need, but they themselves are in need as well, that there are so much more important things to be spending their time, money, energy and strength on. I need to pray for others because I need to pray for my own tendency to react in anger or disappointment or discouragement or depression, when I feel I'm surrounded by hatred and lies and temporal worldliness, when I feel that those who claim to be Christian don't even understand what it really means and bring shame on the name of the Lord of all lords, and when I remember once again that I have just as many weaknesses as any other. I need to pray for others, that God will bless them with eyes that see, ears that hear and hearts that understand, so that He will be glorified. So that He will be seen as our King, now and always. Forgive me for not praying for those with whom I disagree, and who hurt me or others. Don't make God out to be arrogant and rude just because I have been. He is a good and gracious King, full of mercy and grace. May we all strive to be more like Him.

Singing at Midnight

Author: Joanne Beckley
Price: $8.00
Description:
Aging is a fact of life. But growing old doesn’t mean it’s time to shirk our responsibilities to God and stop the work in His kingdom. In LEARNING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT, author Joanne Beckley talks of this little written about, but important time in a woman’s life. In her study she discusses spiritual strength and wisdom that is gained through life’s experiences. Also discussed are the topics of society and aging, changes and adjustments we face after retirement, plus instruction on how to grow spiritually and the hindrances we will most likely encounter. LEARNING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT shows us that although we must grow older, we should be maturing in Christ. 12 chapters, 76 pages.

Pearls

A friend of mine posted these thoughts on her blog today:

I learned yesterday that a string of pearls (given me by my mother 30 years ago) are real saltwater pearls ... and worth a bit of money. I learned how to take care of them and have put them away until another day.

This knowledge brought my thoughts immediately to the line of thinking on pearls of wisdom ... how much more important are those, received from God's word, than even a valuable string of real pearls? Very much more valuable to me. Sixty-two pearls on a string can't measure up at all, in fact.

So, do you have any pearls of wisdom to share with me today?

Here are my thoughts:

One of the first things I thought of when reading this was the idea that so often we realize later in life all the valuable saltwater pearls that our parents, and others, gave to us. We often take in pearls of wisdom from those who are more mature, not realizing their full value, thinking of them as merely nice, or maybe even a gaudy encumberance or old fashioned notion. Why do we wait to look - really look - at the pearls of great price that we have been given? We put them aside and don't care for them properly, and - how awful! - some of us even know those who have taken those wonderful pearls and given or thrown them away.

I can appreciate the fact that you want to put these physical pearls away until another day, but I do pray that we all wear the pearls of wisdom that we have every day. Maybe June Cleaver had the right idea after all!