24 September 2007

Breast Feeding "versus" Modesty?

I'm thinking that old fashioned girls might get a tad confused by this one. Our mothers and grandmothers made very sure to buy the "best" formula, boil those bottles, and not even think about the commonality or animal instinct to feed babies at the breast. Much less would it be done or spoken of in public. Our society encourages mothers who want to feed their children in the even older old fashioned way to please treat this as if it is talking about "that time of the month." Sad thing is, products for "that time of the month" are talked about all over the airwaves and in magazines, but breast feeding is thought of as yucky somehow, indecent, something to be embarrassed about. Mothers who breast feed may be aware of the stories that are told of visiting foreign lands where women were more concerned that their heads were covered in the presence of a man, than their baby feeders. True - the breast is lovely. Even the Bible tells a young man to enjoy the breasts of his wife. But that's not all they're there for, just as that's not all the wives are there for either.

So is it modest to feed your baby at the breast in public? Most breast feeding mothers I know were very discreet about it, even able to feed their crying child during church services, so that no one knew that they were "proud" to feed their babies naturally. I say "proud" because it is often the opposite of modest, isn't it? A woman who isn't "modest" about it, flaunts it. Most nursing mothers aren't "flaunting it" - they're just feeding their children.

I wish there was a way to teach the world - well, at least the "educated"world who have some strange hang up against natural, old fashioned feeding of children - that it's perfectly all right for a woman to feed her hungry baby without feeling like she's broken some sexual law. They aren't "showing off", that is "being immodest", after all. They are some of the humblest women you know. If almost 75 percent of babies are breast fed, for at least a little while, I'm sure you know some of them too.

Thoughts spurred on by the following article...

Health, concern come before modesty for mothers
Sep 19, 2007 @ 08:00 AM
By Elizabeth Davies
RRSTAR.COM


Pick up any can of Enfamil formula and you’ll likely see the motto: “Even closer to breast milk.”

Even formula companies admit it: Breast milk is the healthiest food for our babies. So much so that the federal government has set a goal of having three-quarter of all babies breast-fed in the next two years.

At present, slightly less than 75 percent of all babies are breast-fed. That means 75 percent of new fathers have seen breasts function as a source of nutrition rather than excitement. Seventy-five percent of older siblings grow up knowing that a woman’s breasts do more than look good on the pages of Playboy.

But despite growing education and promotion of breast-feeding, society is sending nursing mothers a mixed message. Consider this:

* A nursing mother was asked to stop while at a Wheaton swimming pool because it was a “family” setting, according to the Wheaton Sun.

* A nursing mother in Kentucky was asked to cover herself in an Applebee’s restaurant, according to the Lexington Herald-Leader. Upon hearing her complaint, the company said it would provide blankets for nursing mothers in its restaurants.

(OK, all mothers go ahead and shudder in unison at the thought of putting a public blanket over your child’s face.)

* A nursing mother on a Delta Airlines flight was asked to leave the plane, according to MSNBC.

I’ve nursed my child in parks, restaurants and department stores. I’ve done it at the gym, in a hair salon and at church. To the best of my knowledge, I haven’t given an X-rated show to anyone around.

I have, however, fed my child when he was hungry and comforted him when he was upset.

I’m a fairly modest person, so I didn’t expect to be the type to nurse in public. But when your child eats every two hours, you have two options: 1) never leave the house; or 2) get a life and get over it.

Like many moms, I get a tad nervous about feeding in public. Obviously, I would prefer to be in the comfort of my quiet, private home.

Nursing moms always have their guards up, ready to spring into action if their little one’s busy hands decide to expose mommy’s goods to the world. But we’re more nervous about the one person who will walk up and try to bully us out of doing this very good, healthy thing for our child.

Moms in Illinois have the legal right to breast-feed anywhere they otherwise are allowed to be. Standing in line for a roller coaster? You bet. Wandering through the produce section at the grocery store? Absolutely.

But those hushed whispers and open-mouthed stares make it difficult. That shouldn’t be the case. Nursing mothers should not be made to feel dirty or promiscuous simply because they are making a choice for their child.

As breast-feeding becomes a more popular option for mothers across the country, society needs to learn some tolerance. This isn’t about sexuality — heck, teen girls wandering the mall tend to show more skin than a nursing mother — and it’s not about indecency.

It’s about giving a child the benefits of breast milk: A lower risk of obesity, reduced exposure to food allergies, a stronger immune system.

It’s one of the things mothers were made for.

Writer’s note: Next week’s column will discuss some of the myths surrounding public breast-feeding. Elizabeth Davies’ column runs Thursdays in People of the Rock River Valley in the Rockford Register Star.

6 comments:

heather said...

Great post!

I think that the key is to be modest while feeding the baby. There is a difference between a mother doing her best to cover up and feed her baby and the woman who whips out her breast and does not make any attempts to cover at all. Yes, sometimes little ones squirm, but the attempt at covering up or making sure excess exposure is not happening is much appreciated, even by other pro-breastfeeding moms, let alone the rest of the population. I completely support breastfeeding, but I have seen women who overly expose themselves in an inappropriate way because they have the "right" to breastfeed in public. That attitude is a turn off and does not help improve the image of breastfeeding moms.

Michelle Maddocks said...

I agree! I keep hearing about these immodest nursing mothers, and I personally haven't seen them, nor do I know anyone who has (personally). Though I'm sure they must be out there - people surely wouldn't make up something like that just to give nursing mothers a bad rap, would they?

heather said...

Well, maybe some people do make things up or exaggerate, but I have seen some women who do not seem concerned about modesty when they breastfeed and, while I applaud their choice to breastfeed their baby (I myself am currently breastfeeding baby #3), their approach does not help the cause of public breastfeeding. I guess I just chalk it up to the area where I live. It is a more liberal area in ways and some people are more "free with their bodies." So I suppose that if a woman is not generally concerned with modesty, then she is not likely to be concerned with breastfeeding in a modest way. And it seems to me that if a woman is generally modest, then she will likely breastfeed in a modest way.

My bringing this up was not to give nursing mothers a "bad rap" but rather to encourage personal responsibility. If a woman already breastfeeds modestly, then great! Continue on! But maybe some woman have not thought about the fact that breastfeeding without covering up really damages the image of all breastfeeding moms, except those gifted women who are so discreet that you can never even tell that they are breastfeeding.

Michelle Maddocks said...

I wasn't accusing Heather of anything! I agree with her that those who are just doing what's right may be accused of doing something wrong (immodest) because of the actions of a few.

I say "a few" because I have no experience with purposefully immodest breast feeding mothers. Only a lot of the "gifted" moms who are discreet. The reason you know they are discreet, is because they're really doing it all the time all around you, and you really didn't know it! :) In many different circumstances, many women find that it is actually easy to be discreet while nursing a baby. Practice in front of a mirror, or a friend. Nursing toddlers in public is a different matter - but that's a whole nother article, I imagine.

heather said...

Yes, a few can damage the perception of the whole of breastfeeding moms. Sounds like we are on the same page. And a really discreet mum can breastfeed and be completely unnoticed. If she is noticed, she should not feel an ounce of guilt for feeding her baby in public.

And it does seem to be a small minority of women who breastfeed immodestly, but sometimes a small minority can damage the image of the greater majority. Again, thank you for posting on this topic. The more acceptance there is of breastfeeding the better for everyone.

Anonymous said...

great post! i myself can be a bit militant about breastfeeding so i am always happy to see articles like this!