18 December 2007

Fathers Killing Daughters

First of all, YES, the man was absolutely wrong to kill his daughter. No reason exists for a father who is placed in the position of caring for and protecting his family to strangle his daughter. One cannot blame a murder on religion anymore than one can blame a murder or beating on the loss of a job, or alcohol, or "that's the way people do it around here."

People in Canada, and around the world, are sputtering, fuming, sobbing and fretting over the recent murder of a 16 year old girl, allegedly by her father, in Ontario. If you haven't heard of it, it won't take much trouble to find the news in a search engine. You will also find the very strong opinions of the writers against Islam, because it is a religion which fosters this kind of behavior, against multiculturalism, because it means that people turn a blind eye to this kind of behavior, and against religion in general, because it makes people behave badly and blame it on some higher reason or mandate. People are angry with the tradition of parents protecting their children - in general - because no child should be required to follow the traditions of their parents. People are angry with the tradition of dressing modestly - because this girl only wanted to fit in and show her beauty. Grief makes people angry. It also clouds thinking.

If true, then this man was wrong, in any religion, regardless of certain parts of the world that condone what he may have done.

Because some men in some parts of the world treat their women as cattle (and probably don't treat their cattle so well either), doesn't mean that everyone who follows the same or similar religious or traditional beliefs will do the same.

Because some people see their neighbor being beaten and say, "what a shame", and turn aside does not mean that everyone in a crowded and multicultural community is turning aside from trying to do something about domestic abuse, or crimes against children, or other hatefulness.

Because some people do not think for themselves or with a pure conscience, and blindly follow their state, or religious documents, or parents even, into performing moral outrages condemned in nearly every culture of the world does not mean that every follower of a doctrine or truth has turned off their brain and their heart to what God has designed from the beginning, and which has been made manifest all over the world as the virtues of true love, joy, and peace.

Because there are fathers and brothers (and bosses) who abuse their God-given natural tendencies to rule and protect, abusing wives, children, family, animals, and the earth itself, does not mean that there are not men all over the world who truly care for those over whom they have authority, treating them with special tenderness, nurturing them as they care for their own bodies. Because there are women and children (and employees and servants) who cower ignorantly, never learning and never standing up for their own dignity as a human being, does not mean that all people who willingly submit themselves to their husbands, fathers, rulers, bosses, or other persons in authority are too ignorant to know any better, and that they must be taught that the only way to live is to rebel against the authorities. Because the roles of man and woman, of authority and subordinant, are abused, does not mean that the beautiful almost fantastic plan for headship and suitable helpers cannot exist.

Because a woman chooses to dress modestly does not mean that she is ashamed of her body, but that she understands the beauty and glory, and does not want to immodestly and vainly show it off. Because a parent chooses to dress their child modestly, and teaches them the value of protecting their beauty, their body, their lives, does not mean that they are ashamed of their children or want to put them in a cage. A parent does have the right to teach their child family traditions, however "strict" they may seem - as long as those traditions do not lead to the child being killed, either physically, mentally or spiritually.

Yes, parents do kill their children in all these ways. Modest dress is not to blame. Religious or cultural traditions are not to blame. Disrespect for parents is not even to blame. Misunderstanding of parents, of fathers and mothers, of adult human beings, of what true love is all about is to blame. One cannot say that they love their child so much that they would kill them, whether over a job loss, a divorce, a new marriage, or their own desire to die. One cannot treat their child or wife (or their animal or anything they possess, but not to this same extent) as something which has no value other than what is material, makes their life easier or more important or more holy in their own eyes - without killing their personhood.

I do not fully understand any of the world's religions, because they do have so much of the culture and the men who created and keep them in them. I cannot even truly understand all about true and pure Christianity - that which does not follow laws made by men that are added to the original scriptures, for business or cultural or other reasons. Because I cannot fully grasp the love of God for a world full of people where parents can kill children, husbands can abuse wives, and those in authority to serve and protect send ignorant men and women out to kill an enemy of some sort or be killed themselves.

But I do understand that at least one man is alive today who was never taught how to love in the sense of sacrificing himself for his family, of teaching his family what it means to truly protect the purity and beauty of women. His sons are alive, and they too need to be taught. If not by word, at least by the overpowering expression of love in the lives of families who do understand how family is supposed to be. The judges in this world - the media, the juries, the bloggers - all need to be taught to really see that here is a family in crisis because things are not going according to the plan for families that was set out from the beginning. Not because of religion or culture or multiculture, not because of modesty or immodesty or modernism - but because there really is A Truth that needs to be taught and lived.

Each of you who have actually read this all the way through - live in such a way that no one will have reason to slander you or your God. Live the way you were created to live - whether you are male or female, bond or free, Jew or Gentile. Let the world know that there is truth, and there is love. And it is real.
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